(08-23-2021, 03:10 AM)Tao374 Wrote: [ -> ]I've had some ups and downs lately maybe even a bit of resistance but had something interesting happen to me psychologically over the weekend. One of my biggest fears with women is ending up in that dreaded friends zone. This happened to me more times that I would like to admit when I was younger. I think it actually screwed me up pretty bad because some of the girls I really liked and it seemed like I wasn't good enough for them. Anyways a chain of events happened over the weekend that revolved around this idea. I had been talking to this girl on and off for a few weeks and I was getting the hint that she just wanted to be friends. So I was like I’m not going to waste my time, money and energy here. Which makes sense because I wasn’t looking for a friendship. I ignored her for a while but she started messaging me again. I had a few drinks Saturday afternoon/evening then she messaged me asking what I was doing. Anyways I didn’t hold anything back I told her I wasn’t interested in being her friend and that I’m not that guy. She said it was her fault/issues that she was being that way and I think we are going to hang out sometime soon.
However, that is still not the point of this post. I think OF started doing something to me at this point. I got home from my day out and started reflecting on why I get so angry when women just want to be friends. At the end of the day they are just people. I think a combination of society, my friends and my family have created a belief system in my head that is no longer useful or needed. At this point I was still having a good day so I decided to call this girl that I used to have a thing with many years ago before I broke it off. She had reached out to me a few months ago saying she wanted to be friends and we should hang out. She is married now with seven kids. Not something that seemed to have much value or interest to me when she contacted me but Saturday was different. She wanted me to come over when I called and I went over to her house and we spend a couple hours catching up. I had no interest in having sex with her nor did I feel like I needed to. This was very strange for me it was like a certain pressure was gone and it felt liberating. It’s hard to put into words the experience and realizations that seemed to be going through my head that night but I knew it was a result of OF. Something seemed to change deep down in me and I strongly believe I’m going to have better and more successful relationships in the future.
I too have been put in the friend zone in the past a few times. Not anymore. If you allow, here is my opinion on it. Essentially this happens because you have bought in into the societal conditioning that women need an emotional connection first, and because of not treating them as
sexual beings.
Once I became more comfortable with my sexuality and expressing my desire on a man-to-woman / sexual level, I never got put in the friend-zone again.
To never be put in the friend-zone, you must be comfortable in treating women as sexual beings.
This does not necessarily mean be very direct or very sexual in your behavior with her. It means that you embrace yours and her sexuality as a part of your and her persona.
Also remember to not become overly emotionally attached or catch feelings early on.
Women get attached much more slowly than men. This is why they get turned off when a guy gets too clingy and lovey-dovey in the first few weeks of dating.
Also remember that if you withdraw her attention and she reaches out, it's likely not because she's had a change of heart and realized she wants you. She wants your attention, your validation. She waits you to remain her "beta orbiter".
(08-24-2021, 04:57 AM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ]Same here #backgang. My theory is that sleeping on the side is defensive and laying on the back is fearlessly being ready and welcoming adversary.
Kol, glad to see others are having interesting results. I'm a big fan of the new tech in this sub so far. I think Shannon has knocked it out of the park. Waiting to see what happens next.
(08-24-2021, 10:24 AM)GreekGod22 Wrote: [ -> ] (08-23-2021, 03:10 AM)Tao374 Wrote: [ -> ]I've had some ups and downs lately maybe even a bit of resistance but had something interesting happen to me psychologically over the weekend. One of my biggest fears with women is ending up in that dreaded friends zone. This happened to me more times that I would like to admit when I was younger. I think it actually screwed me up pretty bad because some of the girls I really liked and it seemed like I wasn't good enough for them. Anyways a chain of events happened over the weekend that revolved around this idea. I had been talking to this girl on and off for a few weeks and I was getting the hint that she just wanted to be friends. So I was like I’m not going to waste my time, money and energy here. Which makes sense because I wasn’t looking for a friendship. I ignored her for a while but she started messaging me again. I had a few drinks Saturday afternoon/evening then she messaged me asking what I was doing. Anyways I didn’t hold anything back I told her I wasn’t interested in being her friend and that I’m not that guy. She said it was her fault/issues that she was being that way and I think we are going to hang out sometime soon.
However, that is still not the point of this post. I think OF started doing something to me at this point. I got home from my day out and started reflecting on why I get so angry when women just want to be friends. At the end of the day they are just people. I think a combination of society, my friends and my family have created a belief system in my head that is no longer useful or needed. At this point I was still having a good day so I decided to call this girl that I used to have a thing with many years ago before I broke it off. She had reached out to me a few months ago saying she wanted to be friends and we should hang out. She is married now with seven kids. Not something that seemed to have much value or interest to me when she contacted me but Saturday was different. She wanted me to come over when I called and I went over to her house and we spend a couple hours catching up. I had no interest in having sex with her nor did I feel like I needed to. This was very strange for me it was like a certain pressure was gone and it felt liberating. It’s hard to put into words the experience and realizations that seemed to be going through my head that night but I knew it was a result of OF. Something seemed to change deep down in me and I strongly believe I’m going to have better and more successful relationships in the future.
I too have been put in the friend zone in the past a few times. Not anymore. If you allow, here is my opinion on it. Essentially this happens because you have bought in into the societal conditioning that women need an emotional connection first, and because of not treating them as sexual beings.
Once I became more comfortable with my sexuality and expressing my desire on a man-to-woman / sexual level, I never got put in the friend-zone again.
To never be put in the friend-zone, you must be comfortable in treating women as sexual beings.
This does not necessarily mean be very direct or very sexual in your behavior with her. It means that you embrace yours and her sexuality as a part of your and her persona.
Also remember to not become overly emotionally attached or catch feelings early on. Women get attached much more slowly than men. This is why they get turned off when a guy gets too clingy and lovey-dovey in the first few weeks of dating.
Also remember that if you withdraw her attention and she reaches out, it's likely not because she's had a change of heart and realized she wants you. She wants your attention, your validation. She waits you to remain her "beta orbiter".
Wow Greek while this concept isn't new to me this may be the best summary of this that I have every read. I fully plan to implement and continue to improve on this concept when I find someone worth my limited time. However, in regards to my previous post I just think it's weird that I didn't care if I got friend zoned or not. I think maybe it was because both girls that I mentioned aren't really worth my time. The first one mentioned I could probably have sex with if I put in the effort but it doesn't seem important right now. I seem to be less needy and have more important priorities if that makes sense.
I'm on day 37 now. Yesterday was the start of a new cycle. I have been feeling fatigued the last couple of weeks. Listening to the sub seemed to help. However, I woke up in a state of excitement in the middle of the night and couldn't go back to sleep. I decided to play another loop using the ultrasonic track instead of the trickling stream. It provided almost instant relief and I fell back asleep. I woke up more tired than normal this morning but at the same time my head seemed clearer and more focused. The last couple of days my head had been jumbled up, I seem to keep forgetting what I'm doing and I’m working at a much slower pace than normal. If I'm able to be more focused and productive today maybe it is finally time to increase my usage.
Day 43, did a loop yesterday but didn't sleep much last night. The girl that I had previously mentioned that I thought was trying to fiend zone me came over last night when she got off work She tried to play it off like she didn't want to have sex but I knew why she was there and took what I wanted. We were laying on the couch relaxing and she became powerless to resist. This went on for probably and hour or so between the couch and the bed. We woke up and we started doing it again this morning but I didn't even want to cum the second go around, seemed like it was more important to conserve energy for my day. My life has had a lot of ups and downs lately so it was kind of nice to have someone spend the night. Now to get a bunch of work done with almost no sleep. I'm unusually way more responsible and focused when it comes to my work.
Day 45, I feal like I’ve kind of plateaued lately. However, I think that is about to change. Last night I started having crazy dreams again that resulted in intense sweating. I have an irrational fear of snakes that I believe was programmed in me by my mother. One of the dreams I had I was on the pool deck of my childhood home. There was a snake slithering around. Eventually it started striking at me from different angles and positions. I was able to keep my cool pretty well and I had the thought that the fear removal module is really helping. However, my family showed up and picked up the snake and started throwing it at me repeatedly. The fear started escalating and escalating until I was freaking out and jumped on top of the table and was screaming like a crazy person. I have fairly intense phobia of snakes. I saw one a few days before while riding my skateboard while awake. It was laying on the sidewalk in front of me taking in the sun. I had the immediate reaction to stop on my board and not get any closer to it. As I was hoping it would move it slithered off. There was a reaction and a fear response in this scenario but I feel like it was mainly because it caught me off guard. I’m interested to see how OF helps me with my snake phobia. It would be nice to not have that fear anymore. It would be a testament to how powerful this sub seems to be but also not my drive for running it. I’m more interested in overcoming things that effect my life on a daily basis and prevent me from living my dreams.
Day 48, I’ve noticed significant improvements in my social anxiety over time. Actually I didn’t realize at first I just started having better results interacting with people. Two regular examples I’ve seen are when I used to feel very awkward interacting with people when being served food at a restaurant or standing in a check out line at the grocery store. I feel much more relaxed and playful now, while taking myself much less seriously. I used to be really stuck in my head afraid of what to do or say like I was going to be judged or defined by it. I’ve been eating breakfast at a local place once per weekend lately. I sit at the breakfast bar where you are in close proximity to the staff the whole time and they are usually open for conversation. They are usually semi-attractive females close to my age. I’ve been having very flirty conversations as of lately without feeling nervous. Not super pushy flirting but kind of like what Greek was describing earlier in my journal about you just feeling each other's sexual presence and it’s fun. I’m not sure if women are attracted to me lately or this is just how people normally interact lol. Normally these scenarios wouldn't happen for me unless I was drinking and in an atmosphere where I thought this was acceptable behavior. On Saturday one of the female servers told me to have a great day in a really flirty way then walked to the other side of the restaurant. Then as I was walking to leave only about 30 seconds later she made sure to get my attention again to say have a great day again knowing she did it twice. Then as I was walking to my car I caught her still watching me. This is just one of many examples where I’ve started to notice my social value and level of interest change.
Another that I didn’t handle as well is when I was eating lunch at a local seafood bar. Two guys were walking up to the bar to order food and drinks and the only two open seats were next to where I just sat down. One of them said wassup dude like he wanted to talk to me but I looked at him and was like I don’t know this guy and he looks like the dudes that I have always wanted to stay as far away from me as possible. They reminded me of the crowd that I was the farthest thing from being a part of in highschool and it made me really uncomfortable. I didn’t talk to them much and actually wanted to get out of there but it seems like there was some level of respect between us that I wasn’t used to. Obviously still stuff to work on.
Another note is that I have gotten off of the original usage schedule for this sub. I tend to be using as I see fit. Which is more often than the instructions and sometimes for more than one loop as well. I seem to be basing my usage on my energy level, fear level and my schedule. So far I really like this sub, it is subtle at times and a part of me would rather be running something like ASC or DMSI but good things are happening so marching on.
Finally, the girl I mentioned spending the night with about a week ago, I told I was going to start talking to other people and that I don’t like being manipulated. To many unanswered texts and broken promises. Things just were never adding up, she seemed somewhat sad but still kind of indifferent. The sex was decent but I honestly need someone in my life that is going to help me build the future that I want. This girl is a train wreck outside of being cute and decent in bed. I’m not talking to anyone in particular yet but feel like I made a solid choice for me and the future remains optimistic. I’m currently open minded to what relationship and financial opportunities may develop over the next 4.5 months of this run.
Actually, I keep thinking of more stuff to add to this post. I’ve been taking amazing selfies lately without any effort and just putting them on Facebook for fun. Well depending on what your definition of amazing is but I used to take terrible pictures and all the ones I’ve taken of myself and the ones others have also taken seem to be coming out really well. Plus, when I see pictures of myself I find myself saying I love that guy. I’ve had an Ex on my Facebook that I dated for 5 years and she even started talking to me again. I think it was pretty innocent but she seemed friendly and it was unexpected at a time that I really needed to talk to someone. I’m not sure if it was my new pictures or just my general evolution / lack of fear being pushed out into the world right now.
Day 49, I remember reading a book that was about human consciousness. Like most books in this genre they address the use of psychedelic drugs at some point. However, the author states that psychedelic drugs don’t calibrate at a high level of consciousness, in fact they calibrate at the same level as a vegetable. However, upon consumption they have the ability to drown out all the thoughts in your mind that come from lower levels of consciousness. Thus allowing you to experience higher levels of being temporarily. Some of these thoughts would obviously be the ones that come from fear. In my early twenties I had a bit of an issue with partying and substance abuse. I found that certain drugs allowed me to accomplish things that I normally couldn’t, particularly in social situations. In a way, the fear removal module seems to be accomplishing this in a healthier and hopefully more sustainable way. I hope I can continue to grow and evolve into a way that allows me to experience life to its fullest.
Day 50, I have a recurring event happening to me. I keep waking up about an hour earlier than my alarm on mornings that follow days that I don’t use OF. I wake up in a state of powerful mind activity. There are a lot of thoughts running through my brain that seem like they are possibly based on fear and/or anxiety. However, they don’t really seem to affect me. The only problem is that I can’t go back to sleep. I tend to drift off into a daydream kind of state as I lay there with my mind fully engaged in rapid thought. Not fully awake but not fully dreaming yet. It is pretty intense. Is anyone else experiencing anything like this?
Day 62, I still seem to be experiencing less social anxiety. I typically only go to the grocery store when they first open in the morning to avoid the large crowd of people. However, yesterday I was busy in the morning and went to my local grocery store around 2 PM and it was packed. However, it didn't seem to bother me, as much as normal, I was calm cool and collect.
Day 64, more interesting things happening with my dreams. The waking up and not really being able to go back into a deep sleep but more of a daydream has had a slight twist. Recently I have started going slightly deeper during this time of the sleep cycle to the point that I’m actually dreaming but realize that I’m in a dream world. When I realize that I’m dreaming the world starts to fade away like a video game that the level dissolves into little blocks when you complete a level. However, I can make the conscious choice not to wake up but to keep dreaming. I had some pretty interesting lucid dreams two nights ago. They were almost like training for my mind and my goals. Just the concentration alone to choose not to wake up stay in my dream and control everything seemed to take a lot of mind power at the time. These daydreams that are now turning into deeper lucid dreams seem to only happen on nights that I didn’t listen to the sub. I did a loop yesterday so they didn’t happen last night. It seems to happen during off days almost like fear is regenerating or being worked on or both. This seems like it could be part of the awakening process that is described in the OF product page.
Another interesting thing that is happening seems to be in regards to my relationship with money. I’ve always had a deep desire to build and accumulate wealth. I’ve read a lot of books and watched a lot of videos on this subject. One of the first of many that inspired me was the classic “Richest Man in Babylon”. This is a very simple and basic financial book but it focuses on the key idea that you should always be saving a percentage of your income and using it to generate additional wealth. This idea led me to create a spreadsheet that I update every two weeks that shows how much I spent versus how much I make plus any changes in value for my investments accounts, home value, etc. during a pay period. The idea that each two-week period the change should always be positive with the exception of market crashes that sometimes effect my investments. It is very rare that I have a negative two-week period that is a result of my own spending. However, the current period is because I spend a lot more money than normal. This would normally make me feel a sense of great loss or frustration but it didn’t seem to affect me at all, I was like I have the money. This could be seen as a good or bad thing but it has lead me to understand that a lot of my money making decision even if they are good still center around fear or lack. This may be changing. I was laying in bed last night thinking that I feel stagnant and I deserve to be making $10,000 per week instead of $1,000 but not sure how I’m going to do this yet.
Finally, I still seem to be seeing improvements in the lowest area of my life which would be my current love and sex life. I have up and down days but generally I’m feeling much better about my self and more open with women. Fear has been a huge component of my frustration in this area. I seem to be getting a lot more attention and interest lately and it feels good.
(08-24-2021, 10:24 AM)GreekGod22 Wrote: [ -> ]I too have been put in the friend zone in the past a few times. Not anymore. If you allow, here is my opinion on it. Essentially this happens because you have bought in into the societal conditioning that women need an emotional connection first, and because of not treating them as sexual beings.
Once I became more comfortable with my sexuality and expressing my desire on a man-to-woman / sexual level, I never got put in the friend-zone again.
To never be put in the friend-zone, you must be comfortable in treating women as sexual beings.
This does not necessarily mean be very direct or very sexual in your behavior with her. It means that you embrace yours and her sexuality as a part of your and her persona.
Also remember to not become overly emotionally attached or catch feelings early on. Women get attached much more slowly than men. This is why they get turned off when a guy gets too clingy and lovey-dovey in the first few weeks of dating.
Also remember that if you withdraw her attention and she reaches out, it's likely not because she's had a change of heart and realized she wants you. She wants your attention, your validation. She waits you to remain her "beta orbiter".
This post is truly golden, I've come back to read it multiple times now.
(09-22-2021, 02:50 AM)Tao374 Wrote: [ -> ]Day 64, more interesting things happening with my dreams. The waking up and not really being able to go back into a deep sleep but more of a daydream has had a slight twist. Recently I have started going slightly deeper during this time of the sleep cycle to the point that I’m actually dreaming but realize that I’m in a dream world. When I realize that I’m dreaming the world starts to fade away like a video game that the level dissolves into little blocks when you complete a level. However, I can make the conscious choice not to wake up but to keep dreaming. I had some pretty interesting lucid dreams two nights ago. They were almost like training for my mind and my goals. Just the concentration alone to choose not to wake up stay in my dream and control everything seemed to take a lot of mind power at the time. These daydreams that are now turning into deeper lucid dreams seem to only happen on nights that I didn’t listen to the sub. I did a loop yesterday so they didn’t happen last night. It seems to happen during off days almost like fear is regenerating or being worked on or both. This seems like it could be part of the awakening process that is described in the OF product page.
Another interesting thing that is happening seems to be in regards to my relationship with money. I’ve always had a deep desire to build and accumulate wealth. I’ve read a lot of books and watched a lot of videos on this subject. One of the first of many that inspired me was the classic “Richest Man in Babylon”. This is a very simple and basic financial book but it focuses on the key idea that you should always be saving a percentage of your income and using it to generate additional wealth. This idea led me to create a spreadsheet that I update every two weeks that shows how much I spent versus how much I make plus any changes in value for my investments accounts, home value, etc. during a pay period. The idea that each two-week period the change should always be positive with the exception of market crashes that sometimes effect my investments. It is very rare that I have a negative two-week period that is a result of my own spending. However, the current period is because I spend a lot more money than normal. This would normally make me feel a sense of great loss or frustration but it didn’t seem to affect me at all, I was like I have the money. This could be seen as a good or bad thing but it has lead me to understand that a lot of my money making decision even if they are good still center around fear or lack. This may be changing. I was laying in bed last night thinking that I feel stagnant and I deserve to be making $10,000 per week instead of $1,000 but not sure how I’m going to do this yet.
Finally, I still seem to be seeing improvements in the lowest area of my life which would be my current love and sex life. I have up and down days but generally I’m feeling much better about my self and more open with women. Fear has been a huge component of my frustration in this area. I seem to be getting a lot more attention and interest lately and it feels good.
Take a look to RTboss journal. You will find information about how improving your financial situation, and more if you usually save money.
Day 71, I'm in a really bad place. My Betaness is at an all time high. I'm getting friend zoned constantly and I get mad temporarily then relieved that no one is testing me and I won't fail now. I've never felt like this before. I want to have sex but I don't feel right at all. This sub is doing something to me. I'm even taking testosterone boasting herbs to try to find any slight sense of masculinity right now. The farther I get into this sub run and the farther I get away from running ASC the less positive experiences I have with Women. I had sex once but I think it was mainly because of the alcohol. She told me last night that she just isn't sexually attracted to me but was the first time she met me. Then said I was never the same person sense the first day she met me. Guess what I was running ASC then. I've been waiting on the updated ASC for several years now. I listened to one loop of it last night and one this morning first thing. I don't intend to stop using OF either. I realize this is in violation of the policy and wont expect a refund. I have never asked for one on any sub. I always assume if one doesn't work I did something wrong or wasn't ready (most have for me to some degree).