Subliminal Talk

One can never predict the trajectory a subliminal takes to reach its goals, but that goes with everything in life. My goal with the journal is to pen down my thoughts on a platform where they have a chance to make sense and relate to others. Please feel free to chime in if you connect to the words or have a critique to offer. 

The first few days, to say the least, were explosive. I had moments where my mind felt like it's melting with breakthroughs. There were many, too many to count, 'holy f*ck' moments that stretched my horizons in the best ways possible. One of the more important mental breakthroughs was that money doesn't define a person's self-worth. I live in a culture where respect often goes hand-in-hand with money, and part of the reason I want to achieve financial success is to gain a certain level of respect amongst my family and peers. But that motivation factor is out of the window. I believe I'd be the very same individual no matter how much I am worth in monetary terms. I've been far more fascinated by concepts of wealth and value. I am starting to see it drenched into the very fabric of our society. Yes, there are more ways to become wealthy than providing value, but it's the path that my subconscious seems to have chosen for me so far. 

I had a certain monthly income in mind before I pressed play, but it makes absolutely no sense now. I had ideas to explore with naive plans, but they don't make any sense either. My goals have stretched far beyond what they were, but I don't know what they are now. Aiming for a better income for the sake of more money isn't the goal either. I'd still like to explore the ideas that my mind has been sitting on all this time. But I know I can't dedicate my life to them. I am starting to think I need an alter ego to keep myself grounded and realistic. But who has achieved anything in life being grounded and realistic? Anyhow, these are hollow words without concrete action to back them up. I do think I am limited by not knowing how to code, but I haven't made up my mind if I should explore that yet or not. 

Mind-altering insights were the first stage of the journey so far. The second, and if you ask me far more unexpected, is the utter loneliness. I am undergoing a major identity shift, perhaps on par with AM back in the days. I am re-thinking, all over again, the concept of self and how it fits into the new worldview. I wouldn't go as far as to say I've lost sense of who I am, but it sure feels like it. A couple of days ago, I had a full-on emotional meltdown, and what triggered it was nonsensical. I've never been affected like that ever before. It leads me to believe that that particular trigger was a way for my subconscious to express its helplessness against the new input. I am still emotionally sore and unable to be productive, but I don't expect it to last long. I've upped my loops and canceled one rest day too. I might as well not take any rest days from here onwards if that's okay. It's dawning on me that I have to walk this path alone and all by myself. In a way, it's a huge responsibility, and I am yet to learn how to cope up with it. Then there's this fear of being misunderstood, unheard, ignored. 

No matter how it goes in the coming weeks, I sure need to re-visit Stage 1 again in the future. Thank you for reading if you've made it this far.

Awesome, sounds deep. Yes it's uncomfortable but a sign of something deep going on.

Something deep is going on, indeed. Every single day is an event in itself. Writing something down has an interesting effect that I've noticed far too often to ignore. It simply starts to unravel and takes different forms. For the better or worse, writing is a powerful force to kick-start change. For that reason, I won't be speaking in-depth about the concrete results until they have manifested in their completeness. 

However, I can speak of mental processes and evolving mental shifts. I am an avid reader, and I find myself utterly fascinated by physics and philosophy these days rather than business books that claim to teach how to make millions. At the time of writing this, my thirst for knowledge is ever-increasing. I don't know if I should call it a form of escapism and get on with the heart of the matter, or should I trust the process and believe there is a mechanism at work that will help me achieve UMS.

I've upped the loops to 4 now and think this should serve me for the remainder of the stage. I want to go faster, reach deeper into the workings of my mind, and arrange it to perfection. But I guess this is as fast as we can go for now.

The clouds of resistance are starting to drift away. Over the past week or so, what I've felt can only be described as existential anxiety. The mind holds the blueprint of the past and expects to find purpose in creating a future in alignment with it. Needless to say, with the subliminal, the very blueprint of money and life is re-arranging in a multitude of ways. The new future proposed didn't fit like a perfect jigsaw to the old blueprint. It caused tremendous dread, loneliness, and a feeling of loss. I believe I have the power to chose my new reality and accept it as the norm. I am beginning to do so in little but definitive ways.

That's the end of Stage 1, and what a ride it has been. It feels like it lasted for months. I am happy to move forward to the next stage, but I am not done with this one yet. There's a lot of clearing to do, which is not a surprise at all. But one needs to graduate to doing stuff, and I am excited about how it turns out. 

I haven't had concrete results to speak of, but they are around the corner. Do you know how AM/SM/DMSI users have reported in the past, "I am not that interested in girls anymore" or something along these similar lines? It is my current mental state with money. I am open to the possibility that it might be resistance, but let's not be black and white about it. I see money in a different light now, but I can't pinpoint what has changed and how it might influence everything in the future. But we'll see.