month 2 cycle 2 Day On 2 (looks like i messed up the report dates? anyway tonight is the 3rd time im gonna listen this cycle)
i feel: weirdly nervous and lonely.. (although the predicted heavy weather may not work in my favor either)
on second thought i think i can better turn this day into an off day cause i'm really struggling staying awake at this moment,,so i think it's better to go back to 2 days play 4 loops and 3 Off days
Month 2 cycle 2 Day Off 1:
Huh i reduced the On days bye one and Bamm i got a relevent dream again
i had a dream where i became a Lion and i was standing by a cliff i was really scared and filled with fear but decided
(kinda reminded me of when i decided to join the forum)
but jump over the cliff anyway and even though i didn't make the perfect start,
i bearly made it when i was hanging on the other cliff i got help from a few animals getting me up,
i was really proud of myself after i did that
month 2 cycle 2 Day Off 3
yesterday was a weird day
first we got a power failure wich luckly lasted only a few hours
then i got a bug in gta 5 that made the game unplayable
then my D&D session got cancelled because someone's pet got sick (what i still found sad)
and then i became depressed while also feeling like a jackass for feeling so
but despire being depressed i still got a little small talk with a dog ownen who's dog came to mine to play with
she asked me some things about my dog and stuff but the weird thing is that this has happend before
same conversation again
but oh well it was still nice
Month 2 cycle 3 Day On 1
After using all 4 loops i heard some noise and for some reason started screaming
also after 2 days of no fapping i started yesterday again but this morning when i want to do it again
i was like meh and just started my day kinda make it seems my fapping habbit became random now
i also have this weird feeling of wanting to stick to my old habbits and yet at the same time i dont
month 2 cycle 3 Day Off 2 (yeah i think month 2 is more accurated since august 19 is the real month 3)
welp i messed up the light nofap thingy but it's okay weirdly enough i didn't feel fear about how i might
mess up the sub
even though i still really want to succeed but instead of feeling sorry for myself i just observed how i felt
wich is interessting since observing things is not really my thing.
Also something that seems more consistant is that i dont feel uncomfy being outside
And i can just easly walk across the pedestrian crossing without fearing getting hit by a car
wich almost happend 10 years ago..
Month 2 cycle 5 Day On 2
been a while since i last reported since not much happend
but now i got a really hurt full legg i know it may not be related to the sub but still
i was scared thinking about ending up in a wheelchair or not seeing my friends over 2 weeks after all
i can go to the doctor later and hope things will get better soon
the problem might be because im fat and sitting all day (one of the reason i use this sub to begin with i just dont know what to do outside and jobhunting will start next month)
although i do notice people start saying hi to me more often it's not much but its something hopefully i can find a way to improve my social skills with strangers
but yeah im glad Appetite Suppressant is next on my list even if i have to wait till end november cause i really dont like my leg situation but oh well i know it's all gonna be fine
well they are gonna pull a blood test on me
next Tuesday to find out whether i have thrombosis
i hope not though
dont want to switch from OCF3 to Appetite Suppressant yet
(08-06-2021, 03:20 AM)MrGnome Wrote: [ -> ]well they are gonna pull a blood test on me
next Tuesday to find out whether i have thrombosis
i hope not though
dont want to switch from OCF3 to Appetite Suppressant yet
Good luck with the test and hope its all positive.
(08-06-2021, 04:09 AM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ] (08-06-2021, 03:20 AM)MrGnome Wrote: [ -> ]well they are gonna pull a blood test on me
next Tuesday to find out whether i have thrombosis
i hope not though
dont want to switch from OCF3 to Appetite Suppressant yet
Good luck with the test and hope its all positive.
Positive result on this kind of test is bad though, right?
(08-06-2021, 10:26 AM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ] (08-06-2021, 04:09 AM)Jake2015 pYid='248008 Wrote: (08-06-2021, 03:20 AM)MrGnome Wrote: [ -> ]well they are gonna pull a blood test on me
next Tuesday to find out whether i have thrombosis
i hope not though
dont want to switch from OCF3 to Appetite Suppressant yet
Good luck with the test and hope its all positive.
Positive result on this kind of test is bad though, right?
month 2 cycle 5 Day off 2
Dont worry i turned out to be fine
dont know why but first they were like im sorry you got thrombosis
Next day later: i came back for an embreo and turned out i was all fine so mayby it was just muscle pain
really weird : S
oh well atleast im fine and i can continue OCF3 : )
speaking off: i noticed im turning more
aggressive after my self censor gets lower
and get more mood swings is this normale?
(also sorry for late response for some reason i got no notivication that people responded to me)
Glad you're okay.
Quote:speaking off: i noticed im turning more aggressive after my self censor gets lower
and get more mood swings is this normale?
It can happen as your inner programming is being shifted, which sometimes can be uncomfortable.. bring up emotions and such.
As for the first thing, but I have noticed that some of my old aggressiveness is coming back on OF and i'm not sure if this is what you mean but I do notice that if I get into an argument or do something that I was scared of and am pushed to be like 'fuck it' and do it that something opens up after.
(08-09-2021, 04:01 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]Glad you're okay.
Quote:speaking off: i noticed im turning more aggressive after my self censor gets lower
and get more mood swings is this normale?
It can happen as your inner programming is being shifted, which sometimes can be uncomfortable.. bring up emotions and such.
As for the first thing, but I have noticed that some of my old aggressiveness is coming back on OF and i'm not sure if this is what you mean but I do notice that if I get into an argument or do something that I was scared of and am pushed to be like 'fuck it' and do it that something opens up after.
Yeah Because my self censor gets lowered i'm more likely to fight into an argument about things i believe are bs
i'm not sure but i start to think that the agressiveness might be based on the fact i always had to censor myself
to keep me out of trouble
so at the same time i'm scared that if i dont learn to control myself i might get in trouble
month 2 cycle 7 Day on 2
i had a dream where i made up with an old friend who used to ditch me and the rest of our friend group because she had a fight with someone in our group, this happend like a decade ago or somewhere along that time.. but yeah in the end of the dream we didn't became friends again but at the same time it felt like something was resolved
Edit: i also start to feel sad for being single and that i never really tried to seduce woman
because i always have this feeling of being rejected anyway so why try (even though girls had fallen for me in the past without even trying so i know this makes no sense)
also my mind is starting to be impatient and start randomly thinking i should do one of the future programs i have on the list and the programm it feels i should do changes randomly as well