Subliminal Talk

Day 127, T-Minus 54 days until end, 1st day OFF,

Have had bizarre dreams; tried to slit someone's throat (an enemy I think) and I couldn't penetrate the skin; maybe a scratch at best. The content of my dreams involve effort, as in a need to cross a region by food, or hiding from somebody in a social setting.

I have less conflict about my behavior/posture at work; it tends towards the confident aspects of my personality.

Day 131, T-Minus 50 days until end,4th Day ON,

Feels like I'm in a hyperbolic time chamber. Every week has looked the same with a few exceptions.
On Thursday, through the referral of my hairdresser, I met an ex-tech CEO who's just sold his company.
We got along fabulously; he liked my ideas about tech, was very interested, and invited me to shoot guns in a couple of weeks (I'm getting the required training that my country has this coming weekend). We also both play guitar and was extremely excited by the fact that I've written/published books.

He said that he'll put me in touch with the COO of a data company in town.

Day 134, T-Minus 47 days until end, 2nd Day ON,

Had a moment at work - not brought on by any person's behavior, nor by a negative experience - where I said to myself: "I don't want to be here anymore". I've never had that thought before.

Thankfully, I'm on what I refer to as "the virtuous path", which is when I'm deliberately executing on the goals I've set out for myself. This involves getting up earlier and watching React tutorials, following along, or when I'm putting out job applications, or practicing guitar, or improving at my exercises.

This weekend, I'll be attending a weekend certification for long-barrel firearms (my country doesn't just let you buy them willy-nilly). There's an extra certification for "restricted" types of weapons (i.e., pistols).

Day 135, T-Minus 46 days until end, 3rd Day ON,

All time low self-esteem. Not bad mental talk, but everything I'm doing externally screams insecure.
Can't string more than a couple of words together without throwing in some incredibly corny or low-value body language or voice tone.

We're about 3/4ths of the way through this program. Anytime now for the effects to kick in...

Day 136, T-Minus 45 days until end, 4th Day ON,

Wondering if I should reduce my loops from 6 to 5 in order to get an extra hour of rest while I'm sleeping. 6 of my 7 sleeping hours are currently spent processing the OFv.3 script.

I also think that I will spend 32 days after OFv.3. on Ultra Confidence; I think a lot of my confidence is built upon fear-based scripts; now, I just don't care much about projecting my confidence outward. I've emptied a lot of junk from my reservoir, and now I have to fill it up again with positivity.

(09-21-2021, 03:48 AM)Ampersnd Wrote: [ -> ]Day 127, T-Minus 54 days until end, 1st day OFF,

Have had bizarre dreams; tried to slit someone's throat (an enemy I think) and I couldn't penetrate the skin; maybe a scratch at best. The content of my dreams involve effort, as in a need to cross a region by food, or hiding from somebody in a social setting.

I have less conflict about my behavior/posture at work; it tends towards the confident aspects of my personality.

This made me chuckle man. The dream I had last night is almost identical to yours (on OFv3 day 1)

Keep up the good work though... Great journal!

Day 139, T-Minus 42 days until end, 2nd Day ON,

Subconscious turning point;

First dream; at a Walmart, I ran into a female friend who's moved a way; she was very much an anime type that has (or maybe had) a killer body; kind of ridiculous. Then, we ran into a third party, a short and thicker woman with tattoos, whom we both apparently knew separately. Later on, we're in the basement of my parents house; my parents come down, and I'm expecting them to freak out cause I have girls over. They're friendly, and then leave me with them. I catch up to my parents as they're leaving, then notice that the house has had massive renovations. The house was expanded, as the bathroom was another 30-50 feet away; it would have had to expand into the neighbor's lot. I don't remember there being any fun after the fact.

Second dream; I was practicing parkour downtown, which turned into parkour inside of people's homes (for some reason); I was able to avoid detection the entire time. I was vigilant while not feeling terror as someone did a patrol.

(10-03-2021, 03:51 AM)Ampersnd Wrote: [ -> ]Day 139, T-Minus 42 days until end, 2nd Day ON,

Subconscious turning point;

First dream; at a Walmart, I ran into a female friend who's moved a way; she was very much an anime type that has (or maybe had) a killer body; kind of ridiculous. Then, we ran into a third party, a short and thicker woman with tattoos, whom we both apparently knew separately. Later on, we're in the basement of my parents house; my parents come down, and I'm expecting them to freak out cause I have girls over. They're friendly, and then leave me with them. I catch up to my parents as they're leaving, then notice that the house has had massive renovations. The house was expanded, as the bathroom was another 30-50 feet away; it would have had to expand into the neighbor's lot. I don't remember there being any fun after the fact.

Second dream; I was practicing parkour downtown, which turned into parkour inside of people's homes (for some reason); I was able to avoid detection the entire time. I was vigilant while not feeling terror as someone did a patrol.

Overcoming teenage fears like a boss!!

(09-30-2021, 09:50 AM)Ampersnd Wrote: [ -> ]Day 136, T-Minus 45 days until end, 4th Day ON,

Wondering if I should reduce my loops from 6 to 5 in order to get an extra hour of rest while I'm sleeping. 6 of my 7 sleeping hours are currently spent processing the OFv.3 script.

I also think that I will spend 32 days after OFv.3. on Ultra Confidence; I think a lot of my confidence is built upon fear-based scripts; now, I just don't care much about projecting my confidence outward. I've emptied a lot of junk from my reservoir, and now I have to fill it up again with positivity.

This is exactly what i was thinkin about... fear vs self confidence. When you dont have fear but you have no self confidence you will still dont do shit in life... But there is deep corelation between fear and self confidence. for example: When you dont fear womans in general but have low self easteem that you are not worthy of having decent partner or low self confidence that you think you cannot handle good relationship. Or without fear there would be no such isue?

Day 141, T-Minus 40 days until end, 1st Day ON,

Left the Sleep Induction Aid subliminal on loop all night last night. Going to reset the 4-day cycle.

Day 140, T-Minus 39 days until end, 2nd Day ON,

Had my best sleep on a work night in forever - and for longer - but my smart watch didn't track my sleep; f my life.

Day 144, T-Minus 35 days until end, 1st Day ON,

I drove to my parents for Thanksgiving weekend (non-American).
The last part of my dreams last night involved my boss telling me that I was not taking things seriously and that I shouldn't start up a YouTube channel. A strange piece of advice, especially from her.

I think the point is that I'm meant to reject that advice.

Day 145, T-Minus 34 until end, 2nd Day ON,

I want that tiger/dragon blood flowing through my veins.

(10-05-2021, 03:45 PM)Ampersnd Wrote: [ -> ]Day 140, T-Minus 39 days until end, 2nd Day ON,

Had my best sleep on a work night in forever - and for longer - but my smart watch didn't track my sleep; f my life.

Do you still use that sleep mat you purchased awhile back?

I've been tracking my sleep for a long time.  I used to get a lot of deep sleep - sometimes 3 hours or more.  Now, the most I'll get is 1 hour.  Last night, 4 minutes!  I don't know what I've been doing to alter it so drastically, but I want to get to the bottom of it.