Almost two months using the sub and making a review. I've felt it kind of stalled after a month and half and I haven't felt any difference since.
Emotional pain relief - physical health has improved but still far from what I want. Pain from past emotional scars are still here though.
Emotional healing - there were times when I still got mad and my blood would boil but I manage to distance myself from it so I can say I am in control of my temper more.
Guilt/shame/fear release - I still blame myself but it is getting clear that I can't do anything to change the past. What I'm feeling more common nowadays is yearning for the past and being nostalgic.
Mental/emotional maturity improvement - I became more productive with my work as of recently. Started to go out and practice my hobby of photography which helped me to ease stress.
Self forgiveness - Not much improvement in this area.
Forgiveness of others - Not much improvement here as well. I still feel bitterness towards my ex though through my daily meditation I learned to slowly wish her well.
Letting go of the past - Feeling nostalgic recently so not much improvement here. I remember the days when I am in my 20s and having the best life. Feeling that I haven't appreciated much of the things I have back during my 20s
Self Validation - There are instances when I still doubt myself and not be proud of my accomplishments.
Self Love - I can say slight improvement as even though I am in a worse situation right now I can appreciate that I am still alive and can make changes.
From my reflection on the past two months I still feel I've got a long way to go before I'm satisfied of achieving my goals when I started using this sub. I'm not stopping anytime soon. I would want to wish it to take effect sooner as I might be just in a good mood now. I could just as easily go back to being down soon.
Felt a huge surge of bad emotions earlier. Last night I masturbated again which is bad because it has been going on for almost daily now. I've got to save up this energy on something more productive.
I felt like a huge failure and lost some confidence in myself. As such I cried and looked how I am much worse now compared to before. Self-pity has gotten ahead of me again.
I browsed Facebook while in this emotional state and saw my ex and his boyfriend having fun and just posted a new set of photos. I know I shouldn't have looked at it but I couldn't help myself. I don't feel that bad like I used to before but there is still bitterness remaining. Do I want her back? No, but the feeling of her cheating on me and being betrayed still lingers on. What hurts more is what if she sees me in this condition? I feel like it will boost her ego and will of course think she made the right decision. Not to mention that she won against me. Whenever I think about things like this it makes me wonder why I am even thinking of such. Because deep down I know that whatever she thinks of me shouldn't matter anymore.
Hey, reki
You are the one who is only you should care about how he thinks about you. IDK if I wrote it right, roughly, fck how everybody thinks about you,
About masturbating,
I decreased frequent of it, significantly. From everyday(2-3 times) to once in 2-3 days. You know what I did?
Just downloaded a few good porn and watching it without touching myself :-D like a normal film. And I make myself sure I can reach them in my hdd, so this decreased need to masturbate significantly. Then I am talking to myself , if I don't give up on masturbating , I will not be able to do anything within my goals. Still doing it once in 2-3 days but as you, I want to get rid of it completely. Still working on it.
(10-05-2020, 10:17 AM)tolgaocal80 Wrote: [ -> ]fck how everybody thinks about you
It’s easier said than done but basically that’s the final solution. EPRHA should help you with that aspect more than any amount of will power.
What matters most though is that it seems like the sub is working on some major issues here.
(10-06-2020, 08:17 AM)fab10 Wrote: [ -> ] (10-05-2020, 10:17 AM)tolgaocal80 Wrote: [ -> ]fck how everybody thinks about you
It’s easier said than done but basically that’s the final solution. EPRHA should help you with that aspect more than any amount of will power.
What matters most though is that it seems like the sub is working on some major issues here.
exactly. this is a huge amount of work, deep thinking and believing to that, but everything is connected with this idea. will-power is a concept that very involved with emotional mind, and E definitly will do something about it.
(10-05-2020, 10:17 AM)tolgaocal80 Wrote: [ -> ]Hey, reki
You are the one who is only you should care about how he thinks about you. IDK if I wrote it right, roughly, fck how everybody thinks about you,
I believe that but it is very hard to do especially on a consistent basis. I learned that I myself shouldn't be the one to let myself down. Every day I say bad things towards myself, majority of them are unconscious and I just keep on repeating them. Meditation daily had helped me become aware of some of them but it would take time.
What sucks though is that it is almost two years since I broke up with her and I also have a new girlfriend now. But still hard for me to move on from the emotional trauma.
(10-05-2020, 10:17 AM)tolgaocal80 Wrote: [ -> ]About masturbating,
I decreased frequent of it, significantly. From everyday(2-3 times) to once in 2-3 days. You know what I did?
Just downloaded a few good porn and watching it without touching myself :-D like a normal film. And I make myself sure I can reach them in my hdd, so this decreased need to masturbate significantly. Then I am talking to myself , if I don't give up on masturbating , I will not be able to do anything within my goals. Still doing it once in 2-3 days but as you, I want to get rid of it completely. Still working on it.
This is hard as well but it might work. What I'm doing to counter it is to just masturbate without porn. You're currently on AM6 right?
(10-06-2020, 08:17 AM)fab10 Wrote: [ -> ] (10-05-2020, 10:17 AM)tolgaocal80 Wrote: [ -> ]fck how everybody thinks about you
It’s easier said than done but basically that’s the final solution. EPRHA should help you with that aspect more than any amount of will power.
What matters most though is that it seems like the sub is working on some major issues here.
Yeah that's what I am hoping. Currently 2+ months in but results kind of have stalled.
(10-07-2020, 07:30 AM)reki Wrote: [ -> ] (10-06-2020, 08:17 AM)fab10 Wrote: [ -> ] (10-05-2020, 10:17 AM)tolgaocal80 Wrote: [ -> ]fck how everybody thinks about you
It’s easier said than done but basically that’s the final solution. EPRHA should help you with that aspect more than any amount of will power.
What matters most though is that it seems like the sub is working on some major issues here.
Yeah that's what I am hoping. Currently 2+ months in but results kind of have stalled.
Looking back you will notice changes that weren’t apparent at the time
(10-07-2020, 07:29 AM)reki Wrote: [ -> ] (10-05-2020, 10:17 AM)tolgaocal80 Wrote: [ -> ]Hey, reki
You are the one who is only you should care about how he thinks about you. IDK if I wrote it right, roughly, fck how everybody thinks about you,
I believe that but it is very hard to do especially on a consistent basis. I learned that I myself shouldn't be the one to let myself down. Every day I say bad things towards myself, majority of them are unconscious and I just keep on repeating them. Meditation daily had helped me become aware of some of them but it would take time.
What sucks though is that it is almost two years since I broke up with her and I also have a new girlfriend now. But still hard for me to move on from the emotional trauma.
(10-05-2020, 10:17 AM)tolgaocal80 Wrote: [ -> ]About masturbating,
I decreased frequent of it, significantly. From everyday(2-3 times) to once in 2-3 days. You know what I did?
Just downloaded a few good porn and watching it without touching myself :-D like a normal film. And I make myself sure I can reach them in my hdd, so this decreased need to masturbate significantly. Then I am talking to myself , if I don't give up on masturbating , I will not be able to do anything within my goals. Still doing it once in 2-3 days but as you, I want to get rid of it completely. Still working on it.
This is hard as well but it might work. What I'm doing to counter it is to just masturbate without porn. You're currently on AM6 right?
yes I am
Past weeks have been very harsh on me. Last weekend was my birthday and only a few people greeted me. What's worse is that I was suppose to invite a few people (college friends) but instead they went out because a friend had a scheduled proposal to which I didn't know because I wasn't invited.
It started last month when a friend also had a birthday and they didn't invite me. Their reasoning was I trying a new diet and they didn't invite me because I don't have anything to eat. I didn't push myself any longer and just think that at least I know that they are like this. I partly blame myself but over time I am trying to think of such thoughts and be the mature person. I guess this is pretty much a good time for me to move on and avoid having attachments to my friends and expecting them that they will be good friends for me.
Hope my next update will be a good one.
(10-19-2020, 11:50 AM)reki Wrote: [ -> ]Past weeks have been very harsh on me. Last weekend was my birthday and only a few people greeted me. What's worse is that I was suppose to invite a few people (college friends) but instead they went out because a friend had a scheduled proposal to which I didn't know because I wasn't invited.
It started last month when a friend also had a birthday and they didn't invite me. Their reasoning was I trying a new diet and they didn't invite me because I don't have anything to eat. I didn't push myself any longer and just think that at least I know that they are like this. I partly blame myself but over time I am trying to think of such thoughts and be the mature person. I guess this is pretty much a good time for me to move on and avoid having attachments to my friends and expecting them that they will be good friends for me.
Hope my next update will be a good one.
Time to find new friends bro!
My experience is that when there is a major growth and transformation (which I hope is happening for you now), we often have to leave some friends behind because they do not resonate with our new self. Same goes for partners often.
(10-19-2020, 01:01 PM)fab10 Wrote: [ -> ] (10-19-2020, 11:50 AM)reki Wrote: [ -> ]Past weeks have been very harsh on me. Last weekend was my birthday and only a few people greeted me. What's worse is that I was suppose to invite a few people (college friends) but instead they went out because a friend had a scheduled proposal to which I didn't know because I wasn't invited.
It started last month when a friend also had a birthday and they didn't invite me. Their reasoning was I trying a new diet and they didn't invite me because I don't have anything to eat. I didn't push myself any longer and just think that at least I know that they are like this. I partly blame myself but over time I am trying to think of such thoughts and be the mature person. I guess this is pretty much a good time for me to move on and avoid having attachments to my friends and expecting them that they will be good friends for me.
Hope my next update will be a good one.
Time to find new friends bro!
My experience is that when there is a major growth and transformation (which I hope is happening for you now), we often have to leave some friends behind because they do not resonate with our new self. Same goes for partners often.
I'm always on the process of meeting and trying to find new friends. I can say it's hard at my age (early 30s) but I know life is ain't over till it's over. Life is always full of surprises and new adventures so I have to always get my hopes up.
Almost 3 months now and the progress is slower or am I reaching the point when I have maxed out all the benefits I can get from this sub? I followed at least 3-6 months of this sub.
Quote:Almost 3 months now and the progress is slower or am I reaching the point when I have maxed out all the benefits I can get from this sub? I followed at least 3-6 months of this sub
If I recall correctly, this sub was supposed to be used in blocks of 3 months. If you feel you have got all you could out of it, it might be time to take a break at the 3 months mark and maybe do something else, rather than investing 3 more months in this one.
That doesn't mean you have to stop at 3 months, just that a minimum of 3 months is best.