Subliminal Talk

(08-09-2020, 06:03 AM)lano1106 Wrote: [ -> ]If you were to ask me the meaning of that dream. I would say that the childhood house basement is a symbol for my core identity and that one of my fear is what others may think of it.

this makes sense to me too, this seems to me OF went to very deep of your consciousness, I want to ask a thing about dream : in your dream ,was it night? When these things happened in your dream?
I bet it was night in air.

tolgaocal,

It is very hard to tell because in a basement with little windows, it is going to be dark by definition. If I remember well, I had to turn on lights to see around. There was no sunlight entering as far I as I remember. So it could either be during the night, at dawn or it was a cloudy day with very thick clouds outside.

In the room, the lighting wasn't very bright. It was dark around. The light was maybe a little bit more powerful than what you would get from a candle but not much more... but now at the time that I'm answering... there is a little bit of guesswork... the dream isn't as clear as it was when I just wake up this morning...

(08-09-2020, 12:52 PM)lano1106 Wrote: [ -> ]tolgaocal,

It is very hard to tell because in a basement with little windows, it is going to be dark by definition. If I remember well, I had to turn on lights to see around. There was no sunlight entering as far I as I remember. So it could either be during the night, at dawn or it was a cloudy day with very thick clouds outside.

I asked because, all of my dreams those I related them with childhood fears, memories; they all were in our old house where is my childhood past or in neighborhood and the sky was always dark or some kind of blue.

(08-09-2020, 06:03 AM)lano1106 Wrote: [ -> ]Cycle #4, day 4:

I did a very strange dream last night. I was in my childhood house basement with some sort renovation guys (they were 3 AFAIK). They were there with me to make me a submission to renovate the basement. You have to understand that renovation and/or construction is very far from been my cup of tea. At some point, they were making me silly suggestions but I couldn't point it out confidently since renovation isn't my expertise. At some point, they were laughing. I was asking what was making them laughing but they wouldn't answer. This situation was irritating me a lot.

If you were to ask me the meaning of that dream. I would say that the childhood house basement is a symbol for my core identity and that one of my fear is what others may think of it.

I agree with your interpretation.

Cycle #4, day 5:

Last night, I still had dreams. I don't recall having so many vivid dreams so many nights in the row. Of is working super hard to change me.

A lot was going on in that dream. What I recall is that at some point I was driving a car, later on I was nagivating a boat on a river and finally, I did some crossfit outside.

On all 3 scenarios, I was irritated and annoyed by very constraining and arbitrary rules. There was plexiglass everywhere and everything had to be cleaned up.

The ridiculousness of all the numerous rules was so upsetting that I think that I woke up upset too...

What do you suppose the plexiglass and rules represented?

It obviously come from the current state sponsored covid management sanitary measures that I need to deal with anytime I go in a store for some errands.

If this has a deeper meaning, it is hard to tell. Unreasonable authority figure demands?

Cycle #4, day 1 off:

Uneventful day yesterday. I'm cultivating the growing sense of freedom. I like the sensation listening OF gives. No dream neither in the last 2 nights.

It is very likely that I'm going take a break from journaling in the next 2 days... I should come back when cycle #5 starts.

Cycle #5, day 1:

I must have made dreams 3 days in a row now. The one from last night, I don't remember but I do remember one of them which was related to Covid measures. I have seen video clips from Australia, where Covid phase 2 has started. The police was arresting a man for not wearing a mask outside in a park. In New Zealand, they are starting to put people who refuse to pass the 8 inches long Q-tips test in concentration camps. They start to take away kids who tested positive from their home.

My guts tells me that if you want to know what dicdactorial fascism looks like... this is it... This is frightening me because if the past is indication to what is to come... So far, the same WHO policy has been deployed everywhere so unless something change, those horrific drastic measures are about to be implemented here soon. I would probably predict September-October when kids are going to return to school.

This is clearly something that I fear. Hence I did dream of that.

On a lighter tone, I went to camping the last 2 nights. I forgot to bring my glasses for when I remove my contact lens. I have a very strong myopia which means that once I remove my lens, I'm close to be blind. The camping restroom was maybe half a mile away from our camp. Coming back from the restroom without my lens could have been a mild source of anxiety. Instead, I was feeling surprisingly calm.

My youngest daughter start to be suffering from anxiety from Covid hysteria. She was suffering from anxiety last year and I did purchase for her ARA. Yesterday, she did request that I setup a mobile phone on her nightstand to listen ARA... This is the first time that the request comes from her. When I started to expose them, putting them the ARA playlist was part of the nighttime ritual when we put the kids to bed.

This makes me wonder. What is the difference between Anxiety and Fear. Aren't they closely related?

If someone is suffering from anxiety, what program would be best for him? ARA or OF?

Cycle #5, day 2:

No dream that I can remember of. I got this random thought. Logic says it cannot be but I have noticed that when I stop worrying a flow of things start to happen almost like by magic. For example, I did complain often about the lack of detected trading opportunities by my system. Nothing did really change except the fear that there might be a problem with trading conditions did go away and I have started experience an abundance of trades.

Another mindset shift is that when problems did arise, it was a source of stress. I now see them as good things because that means that my system experience abundance of trading and those problems are opportunities to improve it even more.

The system is still not perfect but its robustness and accuracy of execution have greatly improved and it has become close to be autonomous... I like the state that it is in currently and the promised future that this work is starting to materialize...

During my sleep, it did 2 trades... It did made a small profit with those 2 trades but it did block stumble on something... I'm planning to add code to handle this situation but for now, I need to restart the process to exit this blocking state...

Cycle #5, day 3:

No dream last night but my sleep wasn't of good quality. I woke up like I have been fighting all night. I woke up very tired.

Yesterday was a great trading day. Roughly 20 trades executed and most of them were positive. The cherry on the sunday was when one of the asset in my portfolio unexpectedly did increase in value by a stunning 30% (typical 1 day change in the crypto world...). I sold it to some greedy sucker before the balloon deflated not too long after that. The funny thing is that the asset acronym is OMG!

While I was starring at the OMG price chart, I did notice something that gave me an idea to improve my trading algo... I did implement the half the idea right away. Now, I need some trading to validate it.

With all this good trading, my account total balance did go up a bit. I think the first milestone to reach will be to get back to my initial starting balance when I started the testing.

Ok, so finally, maybe some fears were stopping me from succeeding after all....

Cycle #5, day 4:

Not much did happen. Living fearlessly is starting to become my new normal I guess...

Cycle #5, day 5:

I didn't feel like journaling today but I did force myself to do it as it is the way that I have found to keep track of where I am in the cycle.

but the funny thing is that I thought that I had nothing to write about but simply to prepare myself doing it, a bunch of ideas did pop up in my mind.

1. There is something that I have tried to achieve on and off for a good 20 years. I have never succeeded in getting any results in that direction for all these years. Guess what? since I have started to use OF, at the same time (actually, I ordered something from China back in late April but it took months before I receive it). I must have finally received it around end of june (about the same time that I did start OF), I started to see results. Was it fear that was stopping me to get any success in that endeavor?

2. Trading project keeps working super well. The last addition to my execution strategy appears to maximize profits when possible. Since last week-end, a lot of trades have been executed. I am hitting the limitations of what has been coded so in that sense, it is not perfect but I have not seen any execution that fails because of something unexpected did happen or because of some undiscovered bugs. Finally! the system starts to run smoothly...

My last observation was that sometimes the strategy works, sometimes it doesn't. I suppose that there are some conditions that I am not parameterizing that explain the difference. I'm recording a lot of data but it is difficult to dig into the logs and extract the relevant info. Therefore, I have created new DB tables, wrote the code that insert the trading decision parameters and results into them. That way, I'll be able to do data mining and probably a pattern will be discovered.

That being said, I have a TODO list for that project and this whole data mining idea is a total distraction from the plan but in this case, I'm following my guts and they are telling me that putting in place something to perform data mining in previous results is important.

To give you an idea, my daily trading budget is limited to $100. If a trade wins, the profit is added to the budget, if it is a loss, it is removed from the budget. At midnight everyday, no matter what, the budget is reinitialized to its initial value.

Despite this very small budget, my last 30 days trading volume is getting close to $20,000! An event that I am eyeing very much if reaching the $50,000 trading volume. At that milestone, the transaction fees will be discounted... And I expect this to be a game changer where trading opportunities will significantly increase...

Since, everything has run smoothly for the last few days, I have decided to very conservatively increase the daily budget to $150 to speed up a bit reaching this important milestone.

Beside that, I have discovered something simply amazing on the Internet... Another game changing event....

Finally, it seems like a lot of things are changing for the better since I started OF!

Cycle #5, day day off 1:

The week is over. I haven't done everything that I had to do but when I look at what I have accomplished, I'm pretty satisfied.

I went to the gym 4 days this week. It is pretty close to the energy level and fitness that I had before the lockdown.

In the last 2 days, my trading system made close to 60 trades bringing my trading volume for the last 30 days to $23K! I still had 2-3 glitches that I have discovered yesterday evening and this morning and those bugs did incur some losses but this did happen for 3 trades out of 60 so no big deal. That is pretty thrilling. Just during my gym hour, the system did about 10 trades generating trading volume of $3000!

That is pretty cool, because I'm only trading with a $100 budget until things start to behave predictably most of the time so that means that if I made a 10% yield in an hour while I was at the gym, that means that I have only made $10... but the vision that I had back in December 2019 is starting materialize...

Cycle #5, day off 2:

I did dreams last night but I don't clearly remember them. All that is left is an impression that they made me realize something.

This morning, I did notice that one trade did happen during my sleep but did not end up in the DB. By looking in the code, I have found why and fix the problem.

There is much less activity than during the last 2 days... Markets are very calm compared to how they were. My system excel most when there is a lot of volatility...