Subliminal Talk

It's almost certainly a symbolic dream dealing with the conflict between you and the part(s) of you that are trying to resist OF. The castle represents a stronghold for fear/the parts holding on to fear. The battle represents dealing with the resistant parts of you in direct confrontation.

I am wondering if the fearful unconscious part of me could cloak my problem skills as a strategy to not let me succeed because of its fear of success and possibly the accompanying changes.

This is a thought that did pop into my mind recently... It seems clever enough to write it down here.

On my trading project, it seems like OF is having a positive effect on it. I have solved 2 excruciating mysteries.

1. I did experience threads exiting because of uncaught exceptions due to some exchange REST API calls. The way to address this problem was to wrap the API call into a small loop and do a small pause of few msecs between calls after a failure. It didn't work. The problem is there is a parameter called 'nonce' which must always be higher than the previous one sent. An easy way to handle this requirement is to somehow base its value on the wall clock time. The problem was that I'm calling the API from my server and my client at about the same time since they receive the same events. I reported this problem in my BASE journal, I found that the server clock was desynchronized quite a lot. It was 12 seconds ahead of the real time. Well, it seems like it started to drift again. I checked it again it was 200 ms ahead. That was enough to make my client nonce values to be rejected even if I attempted 3-4 times with about 5ms apart each attempt.

2. The other one, was a bit tricky. My client crashed while it was attempting to reconnect to the exchange while it was under maintenance. I don't have much clue to investigate. Core dump file was truncated. Even if it wasn't, I did recompile the various libs, therefore more likely than not, even if I had the full core, I wouldn't have been able to extract anything useful from it. The only and last resort is doing some static analysis of the source code knowing approximately what the code was doing when it crashed. It must be sheer luck but as I was doing some unrelated work and having a terminal window on my second screen displaying its logs, the problem has jumped right in front of my eyes. It must be quite a rare occurance to happen so I'm lucky to have it happen in my face. I have WebSocket protocal handling code. The exchange does send WS messages. The protocol, depending on msg lengths can send them in one shot or in several small chunks. The code accumulate the small chunks into a buffer and once the whole message is received, it is passed to the next processing stage. The problem that I found was that if there was a connection error triggering a reconnection AND the chunk buffer was not empty, on reconnection, the first message would be appended on the last partial (now stalled) msg. The fix was just to clear the buffer on reconnection.

I'm not 100% sure that this was causing the crash that I have seen but I have been using this code since last November. It is pretty robust and there must not have much remaining problems in it. Having found this big omission is very likely to be it...

In order to avoid #1, I always have a variable that I use to store a numerical value that is a whole number, but not restrained to a short range of numbers as declaring an integer sometimes is, and I initialize it at 0. Then whenever I need a number bigger than the last instance, I simply increment it, and copy it's value to whatever I need to use it for,

What if you send a ping to the server from the client and store the time it takes to respond into a variable, followed by a request for the current time on the server? Compare the time it sends back + the ping response time to the current client time and make adjustments to the client nonce value accordingly.

Might also need to take into account the processing time needed to do the ping and time comparison into this adjustment.

(07-22-2020, 03:44 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]In order to avoid #1, I always have a variable that I use to store a numerical value that is a whole number, but not restrained to a short range of numbers as declaring an integer sometimes is, and I initialize it at 0. Then whenever I need a number bigger than the last instance, I simply increment it, and copy it's value to whatever I need to use it for,

yes that is usually sufficient but in my particular scenario, I have the additional requirements:

1. The nonce value is persistent on the exchange side meaning if I restart my side, I cannot restart the counter to 0
2. nonce value is used from 2 different machines.

With those constraints, it seems that the simplest way is to base the nonce on the UNIX timestamp with a msec granularity stored into a 64 bits integer and accept the occasional collision. When a collision occurs, I simply delay the next call attempt with some random time interval (to avoid more collision) and it usually works fine. However, in order to work fine, you need to have the time reasonably synchronized between the 2 machines. Otherwise, if machine A sends a Nonce value that is much ahead in time, machine B, even with the retry mechanism, will fail to use a nonce higher than the one used by machine A.

(07-22-2020, 04:27 PM)DMSIuser78 Wrote: [ -> ]What if you send a ping to the server from the client and store the time it takes to respond into a variable, followed by a request for the current time on the server? Compare the time it sends back + the ping response time to the current client time and make adjustments to the client nonce value accordingly.

Might also need to take into account the processing time needed to do the ping and time comparison into this adjustment.

Wow cool. I'm getting feedback on my technical issues!

I'm not sure that I fully grasp your suggestion but what I'm understanding from it, it would essentially be trying to reinvent NTP into my software.

From a philosophical point of view, that doesn't sound the wisest approach to go in that direction. There is nothing that I could come up with that could be as good and as robust as the real thing on top of being a distraction to my real goal and a timewaster.

The farther that I would go in that direction may be to create a CRON job that monitor weekly or daily the clock synchronization of the machine that I'm not the admin and send myself an email when the drift is higher than some threshold.

I guess that I could tolerate 10ms or so....

Update: Now I fully understand your suggestion. Yes that would work but that would add a lot of complexity that is essentially a workaround. The root cause is that one of the machine clock isn't synchronized. I feel like simply making sure that the machine clock remains synchronized be a simpler and superior solution.

(07-22-2020, 06:21 PM)lano1106 Wrote: [ -> ]

(07-22-2020, 03:44 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]In order to avoid #1, I always have a variable that I use to store a numerical value that is a whole number, but not restrained to a short range of numbers as declaring an integer sometimes is, and I initialize it at 0. Then whenever I need a number bigger than the last instance, I simply increment it, and copy it's value to whatever I need to use it for,

yes that is usually sufficient but in my particular scenario, I have the additional requirements:

1. The nonce value is persistent on the exchange side meaning if I restart my side, I cannot restart the counter to 0
2. nonce value is used from 2 different machines.

With those constraints, it seems that the simplest way is to base the nonce on the UNIX timestamp with a msec granularity stored into a 64 bits integer and accept the occasional collision. When a collision occurs, I simply delay the next call attempt with some random time interval (to avoid more collision) and it usually works fine. However, in order to work fine, you need to have the time reasonably synchronized between the 2 machines. Otherwise, if machine A sends a Nonce value that is much ahead in time, machine B, even with the retry mechanism, will fail to use a nonce higher than the one used by machine A.

I like discussing those issue. I think that I have even figured out an even better solution. It could even be collision proof. I'm pretty sure that I can create multiple API keys for my account. I should create 1 key for each of my components and certainly each key possess its own nonce value.

It is really hard to develop software relying on outside distributed components that are outside of your control.

On top of fighting with your own bugs, you need deal with the bugs of the others as well. My software query the exchange API to synchronize my local asset balances with the ones from the exchange which is the ultimate reference.

I do this sync once I complete executing a trade plan which usually consist of 2-3 trades. This has work flawlessly for months of operation but not tonight. They had glitch which has delayed the update on their side and they gave me the balance values before the last completed trade.

Needless to say that this caused issues on my side. I'll need to protect myself against this. Hopefully, those problems come one after the other and all at the same time. That way it remains manageable...

Cycle 2, day 5:

The project did move pretty well today.
I fixed balance query sync issue.
I did introduce the concept of several API keys. I can now stop worrying about nonce value clashing. It will never happen again. Kudos to people who did chime in and did contribute in finding this optimal solution.
Exchange support staff did provide me an undocumented API call to improve my balance handling. that was pretty cool.

I had a lot of other cool things to do and I was feeling that I was in the vibe and things were easy to accomplish but now, it is late in the evening and I start to feel tired. It is probably not wise to start a task requiring my full mental awareness...

At the gym, the mask is now mandatory. I'm not very happy about that. If it was that helpful and the threat that great, I think they wouldn't need to make it mandatory for people wanting to have one. So I took an Halloween mask. The bare minimum to be compliant. Beside, it is plain stupid. You need to wear the mask from the front door up to your work out spot. So, we must put the mask for a maximum of 3 minutes out of a full hour.

The important part of the story, is that a woman started to give me shit about my mask. Saying that it wasn't protective enough and so on. 1. I did put her in place with my own arguments about the whole situation. 2. I felt nothing emotionally except calm. Confrontation used to stir anxiety or even perhaps fear. During that episode, no fear at all. And perhaps she did experience the DRS boomerang effect on top of that. It is amazing... In the past, some random people could throw at you some negative energy and ruin your day. That was clearly an attempt to do that but it failed. Due to OF and its DRS component. She didn't talk to me for the rest of the class.

Last night, I did another dream. However, this one was less memorable. The only detail that I remember is that my dad was leaving on a journey and he did took with him a small apple tree made of cardboard that my oldest daughter made when she was in kindergarden.

Cycle 2, day 6:

Last night dream did touch a very sensitive topic.

I was inside my childhood house in the living room with my sister and my now deceased mother. What we did were like some sort of family therapy and both were on my case. They were asking me why I'm the way that I am today and I did evoke a memory where I was alone with my father when I was 3-4 years old and he did kick me out of the house by the front door and did lock the door. I was crying and knocking on the door to get back in. I must have been left alone for about 30-45 minutes alone outside.

Now, this morning, I cannot tell if the memory is real or fake. If it is real, I cannot tell how long I would have stayed outside like that because at this age, the notion of time isn't well constructed. If it is real, it could have lasted 2 minutes and felt forever in my child perception.

The reason why I'm not sure if this memory is real or not, it is because I do remember rather rough and unjustified punishment given by my father when he felt that I did disrespect his 'authority'. That particular one, isn't one that I do clearly remember but it would be in line with some treatment that I got from him at a young age.

Now that I got this dream. It is now becoming obvious why I now have such trouble with authority. I hated having a boss telling me what to do. This is why, I launch a biz on my own. This is why the mandatory mask rule from the government piss me off so much.

It is not clear exactly how it relates to fear... but I'm starting to dream about very sensitive stuff...

The desire for control typically comes from one or more experiences of lack of control that was traumatic. The seeking control results to prevent the trauma. The fear is that without control, trauma will again result.

It sounds like you're working through some very deep memories of experiences that may have generated some very fundamental fears. If that is true, it is very impressive.

The first time that I did read your feedback, I'm not sure that I did like the description 'desire for control'. It is rather not being controlled by an overreaching and unreasonable authority.

but I did think about it for some time and you are right.

There is a strong desire to control my destiny. It may have been caused by some childhood trauma...
Despite the horrible way this desire is born, it did bring me a lot of positive changes in my life.

Hopefully, OF will be able to sort the good vs the bad of this strong drive.

I'm not too sure how this fear which apparently did fuel my motivation to build something for myself is at the same time hindering other aspects of my life... I hope to get some clarity on that question down the journey...

I'm fascinated too about what OF is doing to me so far. This program is impressive to me as well!

Also, idk, if you have noticed but my unconscious did prepare the field for drop the bomb. On day 5, I did dream about my father where he left with something that presumably was symbolizing childhood.

And on day 6 dream, the whole thing did intensify with much more details and revelations

Cycle 2, day 1 Off:

First time I go to the grocery since the mask is mandatory. That is against my principles to wear a mask. IMHO, there is no convincing evidence that wearing a mask is helpful to anything beside what is pushed on MSMs. I don't see using a mask as healthy as it makes you breath back your CO2 and more likely than not, the mask will get contaminated by bacterias and mushrooms and all sort of nasty things.

I stand for the freedom of choice. If you want to wear mask, wear one. I don't to wear one and I would like to be left alone with my decision. It appears like half of the society agrees with this and the other half don't.

Bottomline, there is a loophole in the law. Because we have laws protecting against discrimination and protecting the private life, all you need to do to derogate the obligation is to declare that you have a medical condition stopping you from wearing a mask.

Evoking the medical condition is extremely subjective and I'm in peace using it due to my beliefs on the topic. Worse case scenario, my medical condition is as real the public health threat justifying those extreme measures. That being said, going to the grocery and actually defending my right was to say the least thrilling because:

1. MSMs keep hammering on the population fears and depict people not wearing mask as criminals.
2. You need to argue your case with uninformed staff
3. You are facing the social pressure

and so on....

but I did it nonetheless and I didn't bring any mask with me because I was determined to succeed. Failure wasn't an option. I have found that the key was to communicate with respect. I see myself as playing a role to educate people that I meet. You need to stay friendly with people or else, they will resist to what you want to tell them.

I had to go to a second grocery because my request has been declined at the first one. Not because the staff wasn't open to my plea but simply because they didn't have the authority to make the decision but they promised me that they would read the text of the law and discuss the issue with the direction and that possibly it would be easier for them to comply with my request at my next visit.

At the end of the day, I can say mission accomplished and by having stood for my rights and insisted to have it my way has been a success against my fears on many levels. and it feels good for my self-esteem for having done so. To have the courage to do what I was feeling the right thing to do.

When I decided to go with OF as my next program 2 weeks ago... I kinda forecasted that the civil rights and liberty status would become worst before improving and the source of the government power over the population with this is fear. Fear is induced in the head of all the good people listening to the MSMs.

I have the belief that I always make excellent decisions for important matters. Choosing doing OF now was one of those decisions. There is no better time in human history for vanquishing the collective fears...

I've never understood people who hold your point of view.  Wearing a mask is simple, easy and proven to reduce the transmission of SARS-COV-2 significantly.  

You said:

Quote:I don't see using a mask as healthy as it makes you breath back your CO2 and more likely than not, the mask will get contaminated by bacterias and mushrooms and all sort of nasty things.

All of Asia was wearing masks like this for decades before SARS-COV-2 showed up, routinely.  They did that because it works to reduce the spread of disease, which is also why they have always been worn in hospitals forever.  If you look at the history concerning the Spanish Flu of 1918, you'll see that it was known even then that wearing a mask was important enough that people ended up getting shot for not wearing one.

Your reasons for not wearing one are ridiculous and preposterous.  Breathing back your own CO2 is not an issue if you adjust your mask correctly.  If the mask gets contaminated by bacteria, viruses or fungi, simply disinfect it!  Easily done with replacement, or washing it in alcohol, bleach, or any other type of disinfectant.  I use ionic silver.

The problem comes down to one of your "right" to not wear a mask, vs my right to not be unnecessarily exposed to a life threatening infection by you.  Which one is more important?  Your right to not wear a mask, or everyone else's right to stay healthy?  It's incredibly selfish and immature of you ald all who think like you to put the rest of us at increased risk for infection and DEATH because you have an issue doing something as simple as putting on a damned mask.  For no good reason.

If half the US wasn't thinking like that, we'd have a hell of a lot less infections, and a hell of a lot less deaths.

You have literally no good reason for not wearing a mask.  If you think you do, next time you go have a surgery, please request of your medical staff that they not wear masks during your surgery.  They wear those masks during your surgery so you have a significantly reduced chance of getting an infection.  Again, you can find these masks being used all through last CENTURY for this reason.  In other words, we have known that it is scientifically factual that wearing a mask significantly reduces the chance of spreading, or contracting, an infection.  For you and those around you.

I'm quite frankly sick of seeing so many people be stupid about this whole situation while whining about their "rights"  That's why the United States now has the worst SARS-COV-2 situation IN THE WORLD, and is the laughingstock of the whole world as a result.  I don't know if you live in the US, but I do know that conspiracy theories are trumped by reality, and the reality is, wearing a mask is effective in significantly reducing your chance of spreading or contracting a deadly disease called SAR-COV-2.  

Think!  It's not all about you and your "rights", especially when it's flat stupid to disregard the rights of others by doing so.  It would be onw thing if you chose to put yourself at increased risk and nobody else suffered for your choices, but by doing so, you are putting everyone around you at risk as well.  You are putting others at risk to contract and die from a deadly disease because you have ridiculous borderline conspiracy theorist excuses that don't amount to a damned hill of beans.

Wear a damned mask whenever you are around others!  Your "right" to not wear a mask does not outweigh everyone else's right to health!