Was on the road all week for work.
on OF I'm a lot more chatty and I'm more prone to saying before I think, a trait I had as a kid.
I'm considerably funnier now and this was also a trait I had when I was younger.
Kind of tired from it but it could also be the long hours I work so not sure.
Been remembering my dreams more often. Had a tornado dream which is common for me.
I've also had a really weird one recently. I was growing mushrooms in a metallic pie tin. One half of it had what looked like green mold and the other had some mushrooms growing. I was really excited to see these mushrooms growing for some reason. Not sure as to what that means and I've never had mushrooms show up in my dreams before so I don't know the symbolism behind mushrooms.
Getting more fed up with my job. As OF goes on I see the fear in others for what it is, and I've noticed it before but it's really driving home that I work with small, petty, and fear-driven men. I am starting to see their actions for what they are and so many of them wear a mask and base their actions off of fear and then attempt to leverage fear as a tool for manipulation on others all while thinking that they are masculine "alpha" men and it's laughable. I have a target date of the end of August as to when I'm quitting.
It was a good week nonetheless
(07-11-2020, 08:05 AM)Chris P. Bacon Wrote: [ -> ]Was on the road all week for work.
on OF I'm a lot more chatty and I'm more prone to saying before I think, a trait I had as a kid.
I'm considerably funnier now and this was also a trait I had when I was younger.
Kind of tired from it but it could also be the long hours I work so not sure.
Been remembering my dreams more often. Had a tornado dream which is common for me.
I've also had a really weird one recently. I was growing mushrooms in a metallic pie tin. One half of it had what looked like green mold and the other had some mushrooms growing. I was really excited to see these mushrooms growing for some reason. Not sure as to what that means and I've never had mushrooms show up in my dreams before so I don't know the symbolism behind mushrooms.
Getting more fed up with my job. As OF goes on I see the fear in others for what it is, and I've noticed it before but it's really driving home that I work with small, petty, and fear-driven men. I am starting to see their actions for what they are and so many of them wear a mask and base their actions off of fear and then attempt to leverage fear as a tool for manipulation on others all while thinking that they are masculine "alpha" men and it's laughable. I have a target date of the end of August as to when I'm quitting.
It was a good week nonetheless
Wow... thats some Hella progress Man. Damn. as they used to say in New year when I Lived there so many years ago now ,and relating to your work enviroment ,"I got cho' Number!"- you know whats really going on and see it for what it is!! awesome!! fear remover wow.....'the clouded mind see's nothing" - those days are over for many.
thats a quote from the movie "The Shadow".
(07-11-2020, 08:05 AM)Chris P. Bacon Wrote: [ -> ]Was on the road all week for work.
on OF I'm a lot more chatty and I'm more prone to saying before I think, a trait I had as a kid.
I'm considerably funnier now and this was also a trait I had when I was younger.
Kind of tired from it but it could also be the long hours I work so not sure.
Been remembering my dreams more often. Had a tornado dream which is common for me.
I've also had a really weird one recently. I was growing mushrooms in a metallic pie tin. One half of it had what looked like green mold and the other had some mushrooms growing. I was really excited to see these mushrooms growing for some reason. Not sure as to what that means and I've never had mushrooms show up in my dreams before so I don't know the symbolism behind mushrooms.
Getting more fed up with my job. As OF goes on I see the fear in others for what it is, and I've noticed it before but it's really driving home that I work with small, petty, and fear-driven men. I am starting to see their actions for what they are and so many of them wear a mask and base their actions off of fear and then attempt to leverage fear as a tool for manipulation on others all while thinking that they are masculine "alpha" men and it's laughable. I have a target date of the end of August as to when I'm quitting.
It was a good week nonetheless
I of course could be completely wrong, but if I was going to interpret your dream about mold and mushrooms, consider that mold is undesirable, and mushrooms are similar, but can be desirable. Perhaps this is a reflection on some part of you transitioning from self sabotage to growing into a new form of expression that is desirable. Since they are both present, it would seem that they are being compared, or perhaps the transition is not complete. This may symbolize growth past self sabotage to something desirable that was being prevented by fear previously.
(07-11-2020, 10:57 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (07-11-2020, 08:05 AM)Chris P. Bacon Wrote: [ -> ]Was on the road all week for work.
on OF I'm a lot more chatty and I'm more prone to saying before I think, a trait I had as a kid.
I'm considerably funnier now and this was also a trait I had when I was younger.
Kind of tired from it but it could also be the long hours I work so not sure.
Been remembering my dreams more often. Had a tornado dream which is common for me.
I've also had a really weird one recently. I was growing mushrooms in a metallic pie tin. One half of it had what looked like green mold and the other had some mushrooms growing. I was really excited to see these mushrooms growing for some reason. Not sure as to what that means and I've never had mushrooms show up in my dreams before so I don't know the symbolism behind mushrooms.
Getting more fed up with my job. As OF goes on I see the fear in others for what it is, and I've noticed it before but it's really driving home that I work with small, petty, and fear-driven men. I am starting to see their actions for what they are and so many of them wear a mask and base their actions off of fear and then attempt to leverage fear as a tool for manipulation on others all while thinking that they are masculine "alpha" men and it's laughable. I have a target date of the end of August as to when I'm quitting.
It was a good week nonetheless
I of course could be completely wrong, but if I was going to interpret your dream about mold and mushrooms, consider that mold is undesirable, and mushrooms are similar, but can be desirable. Perhaps this is a reflection on some part of you transitioning from self sabotage to growing into a new form of expression that is desirable. Since they are both present, it would seem that they are being compared, or perhaps the transition is not complete. This may symbolize growth past self sabotage to something desirable that was being prevented by fear previously.
That is a very good interpretation in my opinion, thank you.
Accidentally had my playlist on repeat so OF played till I woke up. I think I'm going to up the loops from now on I feel pretty good. I'll increase it by one to see what happens and if I'm not totally exhausted by the next break i'll increase it again.
I've always found that increasing the loops works well for me even if I'm a little tired.
Another night and more dreams that I remember, but this time I have a decent interpretation.
I was at some venue, probably a restaurant, sitting at a table with friends. I for some reason looked at my left hand and there was a hole in it, and in that hole was what appeared to be an insect. I say appeared because from start to finish of the dream I never got a clear look at it. It was burrowed deep into the meat of my hand right below the thumb. As I saw that a feeling of "I need to get that out of me" happened and I shook my hand vigorously. As I did, what was in my hand came out and bounced on the ground and I never saw it for the remainder of the dream. I looked into the hole and it was deep as I could see muscle and bone. I was scared for a bit and my friends said "Oh we need to get that treated or fixed" I don't remember which. I looked at it and said "You know what I'm fine, it will heal on its own", without any sense of false bravado and just ignored it knowing it would mend on its own. End of dream.
my interpretation is that OF got to something deeply embedded into me and rooted it out. I'm not sure why the left hand. My friends might be, but not sure, the common wisdom about how to heal past traumas and emotional wounds. By ignoring it and letting the wound heal on its own is how it should actually be done. Fear-based wounds, which are most if not all non-physical wounds, need to be resolved and ignored for lack of a better term. Not coddled and treated. Once the issue is resolved you can move on. As to why a cafe or restaurant, maybe it was to do with a fear of other's opinions. I say this because I was confident and not caring of other people and what they think in a way I haven't been in years.
Forgot to add a loop last night so I'll be adding one tonight.
Edit: I suspect that in the dream because I was not able to look directly at the insect or whatever it is was because it would actually trigger the fear. If so, that is interesting.
(07-14-2020, 04:56 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Very interesting indeed!
I'm glad you like it
If you're referring to the edit I put in I thought you'd like that so I hoped you hadn't read it before I edited that post as that last part as I thought about it seemed to be rather significant.
I found a volume level for OF that is good for me. However, it exhausts me deeply.
This is both good and bad. It's bad because of the obvious. It's good because the most stubborn parts of me cant withstand it. I am deeply stubborn but OF presses on anyways.
This will be both good and diffcult.
I am finding the same thing. Today I used a method I usually don't use to ask my subconscious a direct question while I was awake. I basically asked if OF 5.75G was achieving its goals in spite of the resistance, even for the resistant parts. The answer came back, and was verified: Yes.
This pleases me hugely. This may mean we have finally achieved the power level we need for almost everyone to get results... as long as they don't run away.
Quite a while since the last post.
I'm not sure if fear has layers that get peeled, or that if one fear is being addressed it reasonates with other fears and gets a little confusing. I'm saying this because I find that it feels like i'm rehashing the same fear but come out on the other side better than before. Maybe it's just a dip back into that state of fear and that's what is making it a little confusing. Not sure.
I'm becoming a different person and I'm enjoying it, but it's hard.
Some change is rather unexpected and sudden, while some fears I become consciously aware of as well as the resistance.
Glad I stuck with subs long enough to see OF come out.
Pretty sure I'm buying LTU6 but not fully committed to paying 600 yet.
1. Because OF is so good.
2. I do want to quit my job and have a cash cushion.
The money for LTU came in so I preorderd it.
Going to run it tonight to see what happens.
I might have to stop because it's possible that I have an infection from a bee sting. Could be a mild work injury not sure.
Super excited to see my favorite sub get another iteration.
Since deciding to run LTU about an hour ago I have been experiencing TID.
Remember to start a new journal!