Stage 5, Day 15,
I'm doing just fine. I've broken up with the woman I was seeing. I've had four dates since last Friday lol. No sex has come from it yet; I usually don't try for sex on the first date.
Making strides in my guitar playing. Got new running shoes that actually have cushion. Going for my long run tomorrow.
Stage 5, Day 19,
I recently realized that women, when things risk becoming intimate, sometimes do this shuffle between 'yes' and 'no lol'. It's a dynamic where they're using their consent as a game for their amusement. A women yesterday admitted to me that she enjoyed watching me get flustered by changing her mind about moving to second base.
Have you had this experience? I used to find it cute. Going through the logic of it, I realize that it's toxic and shitty behavior.
Disclaimer: This is clearly not the behavior that a woman in fear for her safety would do. 'No' has a completely different meaning in that situation.
Edit: I should add that she was doing it in a back and forth way, repeatedly. Not just once.
(07-01-2020, 08:16 PM)Ampersnd Wrote: [ -> ]Stage 5, Day 19,
I recently realized that women, when things risk becoming intimate, sometimes do this shuffle between 'yes' and 'no lol'. It's a dynamic where they're using their consent as a game for their amusement. A women yesterday admitted to me that she enjoyed watching me get flustered by changing her mind about moving to second base.
Have you had this experience? I used to find it cute. Going through the logic of it, I realize that it's toxic and shitty behavior.
Disclaimer: This is clearly not the behavior that a woman in fear for her safety would do. 'No' has a completely different meaning in that situation.
I'm 54 y/o and I've experienced that many times. Then I read the book "The 5 Love Languages" I'll save you the time of reading the book... you can take the online quiz here
https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/ The best way to apply the results of the quiz is to find a woman that has the same love language as you, then the relationship becomes magical!!
As far as women go... when you go running and your foot hits an uneven surface, do you get upset at the ground for making you lose your footing? Nope, you keep on running. What about if it starts raining while you are running? Do you get angry at the weather for making you wet? Nope, you keep on running. Hopefully, when you think about it later you get a good laugh out of it!!
Running, women, life happens. Have fun, enjoy life, roll with the punches...
That is what Alan Roger Currie calls a manipulative timewasters.
They dangle a carrot to extract benefits from thirsty men.
The best way to eliminate this exhibited behavior from your life is to ask yourself what a man with many options would do in this situation.
Short answer: Don't accept it and move on.
You can play with a cute seductive game where she does resist a bit and tease you but you have to find out very quickly if she is a reciprocator or a timewaster.
(07-01-2020, 08:47 PM)4Kingdoms Wrote: [ -> ] (07-01-2020, 08:16 PM)Ampersnd Wrote: [ -> ]Stage 5, Day 19,
I recently realized that women, when things risk becoming intimate, sometimes do this shuffle between 'yes' and 'no lol'. It's a dynamic where they're using their consent as a game for their amusement. A women yesterday admitted to me that she enjoyed watching me get flustered by changing her mind about moving to second base.
Have you had this experience? I used to find it cute. Going through the logic of it, I realize that it's toxic and shitty behavior.
Disclaimer: This is clearly not the behavior that a woman in fear for her safety would do. 'No' has a completely different meaning in that situation.
I'm 54 y/o and I've experienced that many times. Then I read the book "The 5 Love Languages" I'll save you the time of reading the book... you can take the online quiz here https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/ The best way to apply the results of the quiz is to find a woman that has the same love language as you, then the relationship becomes magical!!
As far as women go... when you go running and your foot hits an uneven surface, do you get upset at the ground for making you lose your footing? Nope, you keep on running. What about if it starts raining while you are running? Do you get angry at the weather for making you wet? Nope, you keep on running. Hopefully, when you think about it later you get a good laugh out of it!!
Running, women, life happens. Have fun, enjoy life, roll with the punches...
Hey 4Kingdoms, I wasn't upset about it happening, but rather that our society will defend that behavior as something totally innocuous and harmless.
And yes, my foot might slip on a wet stone and affect my running, but women are adults with the ability to analyze their behavior, meaning that they are still accountable for whatever actions they do. Can't say the same about a slick rock.
Stage 6, Day 4,
I might have an opportunity to get a bigger and better job in a new city. I presume for more money; BASE has never failed to deliver, though this is a job and not a business.
I've been ramping up my guitar practicing a ton. I'm also getting a lot done by way
Transitioned my marathon training to CrossFit/Plyometrics to reduce the amount of training time. I got the workout from the 4 Hour Body.
Stage 6, Day 10,
I'll be repeating BASE after this is 6-month cycle is up.
There's been a definite improvement in my productivity, discipline, character, and overall attitude towards life.
Stage 6. Day 14,
I think I found the secret to being an adult/a man/responsible human. So dropdead simple that it took me 28 years of messing up to stumble upon this:
1) Determine your goals/aims/desires,
2) Figure out what is realistically required to achieve these,
3) Establish a course of action,
4) Evaluate the likely consequences of your preferred course of action,
5) Decide whether the likely negative consequences are worth the likely positive consequences,
6) Decide to execute your course of action,
7) Execute your course of action,
8) Accept the actual consequences of your actions,
9) Repeat.
No mysticism, no personal wishlists, no LOA, and no spiritual bypassing.
Throughout my adolescence and early 20s, I kept trying to game the system and figure out the minimum effective doses to things. Anything to avoid strapping in and undergoing the actual work needed to become excellent at something.
I wished that I could have learned to connect the pain of doing the right thing in the moment (e.g. studying instead of video games) to my personal growth. I also wish that I could've thought to numerically track all of the right actions, as I've done with my backpocket goals list.
(07-31-2020, 03:29 PM)Ampersnd Wrote: [ -> ]I wished that I could have learned to connect the pain of doing the right thing in the moment (e.g. studying instead of video games) to my personal growth. I also wish that I could've thought to numerically track all of the right actions, as I've done with my backpocket goals list.
guess what, I am thinking the same way and I am 21, so I think everbody thinks the same way and it is a excuse to not doing the right thing.
(07-31-2020, 03:38 PM)tolgaocal80 Wrote: [ -> ] (07-31-2020, 03:29 PM)Ampersnd Wrote: [ -> ]I wished that I could have learned to connect the pain of doing the right thing in the moment (e.g. studying instead of video games) to my personal growth. I also wish that I could've thought to numerically track all of the right actions, as I've done with my backpocket goals list.
guess what, I am thinking the same way and I am 21, so I think everbody thinks the same way and it is a excuse to not doing the right thing.
Thinking the same way in what way? That's you've followed the 9 steps above, or that you've wanted to connect the dots on pain and success?
I pretty much lived by that list, but I didn't forget or deny the mystical side of life.
For the first 27/28 years of my life, I slept alone (save for the occasional one night stand or week-long girlfriend). I grew tired of that. I began to imagine sleeping next to someone, and even wrote out what I really wanted... A relationship with the perfect person for me, who would challenge me and help me grow as a person, but also be fearsomely loyal and loving - a person who I would love in return.
I read that statement every night in bed for some time. Next thing I know, I met my wife through circumstances outside of my direct control, but a natural extension of my best laid life plans. She fits the bill to my statement and visualizations to this day.
I still got everything I wanted on my list.
Stay-at-home dad, check.
Work-from-home, check.
Be my own boss, check.
So I make plans, and am careful as to what I visualize and set my intentions toward... Because in the end, I get what I put out there.
Keep up what good work, Dan.
(07-31-2020, 04:12 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]I pretty much lived by that list, but I didn't forget or deny the mystical side of life.
For the first 27/28 years of my life, I slept alone (save for the occasional one night stand or week-long girlfriend). I grew tired of that. I began to imagine sleeping next to someone, and even wrote out what I really wanted... A relationship with the perfect person for me, who would challenge me and help me grow as a person, but also be fearsomely loyal and loving - a person who I would love in return.
I read that statement every night in bed for some time. Next thing I know, I met my wife through circumstances outside of my direct control, but a natural extension of my best laid life plans. She fits the bill to my statement and visualizations to this day.
I still got everything I wanted on my list.
Stay-at-home dad, check.
Work-from-home, check.
Be my own boss, check.
So I make plans, and am careful as to what I visualize and set my intentions toward... Because in the end, I get what I put out there.
Keep up what good work, Dan.
That makes sense. I used to think that my destiny would sort itself out because I was 'special' or simply had something different from the rest of society. That attitude led to a ton of wasted time; I know now that I have to set myself apart through intent and actions.
I find that the more that I get geared into taking action, the more I've noticed a spiritual component to it as well.
I thought up this framework because I got frustrated with people expressing their desire to learn French, but never lift a finger to accomplish it. Or, a theoretical person wanting to start a business but doesn't even know what it takes. Hope this clarifies.
Stage 6, Day 16,
Finished my latest book's second draft.
Draft #1 - Required 37 days (the same as my second book's first draft)
Draft #2 - Required 43 days
My first book took me 107 days or so for the first draft, so this is a great time.
Now comes the fun part: deciding on a book list and reading it. Could be 10 books or 30+.
I've got a book page scanner and a super fast computer now.
Last time I completed this book list project, I was scanning book sections one line at a time with an (often buggy) marker scanner.
Can somebody say 'hyperproductivity'!