Subliminal Talk

Neediness and fear. Some external "wanting a saviour/safe me" thing is going on. I notice how some part seems to cry/grieve now. Purely mentally tho. Lots if fear stuff coming to the forefront, expressing itself. Snapshots.

Also procrastination is up yet intellectually its just frustrating. Starting to think the "idk what to do" is fear/selfsabotage and straight up bullshit. Same old, same old spiral feeding in itself. Seems part of me wants to kerp me or/and itself safe. Fear and not wanting is definitely expressed.

It doesnt make sense. Here I am, playing a game on my phone, yet knowing(!) that doesnt bring stuff in fruition, unless I would make bank from it.

Allowing this to process drops mood. Stuck. Feelin like shit. Argh. This whole spiral/feeding in itself cycle is just fucked.

Also, ngl, money manifestation would be nice now. Seems even there is fear. tho I indentified the money magnet things last evening.

Such UMS. much wow.

Im 100% sure ums will work out. Snapshots are losing impact quickly.

Also, got that wealth window experience again. Awesome!

Im fighting through some shit.

Also, this sense of "fee-money" tho... 5k worth of tips lol

Money streams becoming clear. Sems a goal is more def set. My subc has plans and I dig it. Ums working overtime. Unfolding of empire.

Memories from years back, things starting to make sense, clarity, yet im experiencing it now, so its a now experience, ready to dissolve/face/whatever. Now is the oppurtunity.

I refuse to give up and quit. Parts are rooting and exciting.

Keep fighting Brother, the dark clouds never stay still. Soon, you will bust through those fears and a bright light of infinite wealth will shine upon you.

Thanks brother. Im going all out with the loops as this weekend enables me to do so. Had a short break last night due to loading up 3 loops onmy phone. Woke up around 9 am, got some shit done, and am running loops again since 10 am.


Current tactic: overload with loops to get the subliminal message across. Bit like though love.

Tons of dreams involving wealth, fear of being judged, offers, people, grocerystores, dinosaurs, parties invited, women/girls etc etc

Reading other journals, one thing stayed with me. Someone coined "it feels like a mini vacation" or something along those lines. i really like that, an understatement. Holy shit, does something shift.

Last night I also had the sensation of BEING value after watching a youtube video. The guy had a "country/outlandish" vibe to him. The comment section kept praising him. He was just, well, him. This made me realize other understanding of value. It was like dipping in another current.

(02-09-2020, 03:36 AM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks brother. Im going all out with the loops as this weekend enables me to do so. Had a short break last night due to loading up 3 loops onmy phone. Woke up around 9 am,  got some shit done, and am running loops again since 10 am.


Current tactic: overload with loops to get the subliminal message across. Bit like though love.

Tons of dreams involving wealth, fear of being judged, offers, people, grocerystores, dinosaurs, parties invited, women/girls etc etc

Interesting tactic. Hadn't thought about it before.
How many days r u overloading followed by days off?

Since my last bloom phase, which was 4 days, I ran 5 loops. The moment depression showed up, I curbed it with one loop. After that Ive ran 8 loops with 3 loops afterwards and went full on from there. I find it hard to time track it currently, due to the massive input.

Now im running my last 3 loops over phone. Will take 5 days off after this, or until my subconscious starts craving loops again.

Also, thank you for the +1 rep man, much appreciated

(02-09-2020, 02:01 PM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ]Since my last bloom phase, which was 4 days, I ran 5 loops. The moment depression showed up, I curbed it with one loop. After that Ive ran 8 loops with 3 loops afterwards and went full on from there. I find it hard to time track it currently, due to the massive input.

Now im running my last 3 loops over phone. Will take 5 days off after this, or until my subconscious starts craving loops again.

Also, thank you for the +1 rep man, much appreciated

Wow. I bet you will do great with UMS 2.0 which seems to not too far off since FRM 4.9 is getting worked on!

Yeah I plan on jumping on ums 2.0

Bloom day 1 ( ran 5 loops over night, clear nagging that I should, yet recalling tgis, the same "5 loops" nudge is voicing itself )

Having mad mindfog. Sleepy yet stable mood. Moment I consider early bed I cant move as if im locked in autopilot.

Anyways;

Had appointment today with my psych. Drank some coffee beforehand, 2 other people joined. One woman who is specialized in addictions ( lol at the timing ) and a guy who was taking the place of the other woman that was sick today.

We talked about stuff. Introductions took place. I engaged everyone pretty nicely. Then we went over the growth over the past year. "L'", who is my to go person/casemanager, nice ass and what not, was all happy and stuff. Cool.

Then... I brought up my quitting of smoking, aswell as other substances that causes dopamine release. I locked eyes with L at some points, without me wavering the engagement. I coined also, and let me phrase "I am quitting smoking, yet also 18+ sites, and other stimulances that cause a dopamine release" she asked further. Before I knew I was talking about nofap, openly, how quitting porn is beneficial, and is boosting my life positively in numerous fields, such as socializing, leadership and what not.

In these moments we held eye contact, longer then whats considering norm and it was very much a relaxed gaze. Her bodylanguage shifted and slipped composure. Got great feedback from everyone in the room. It was pretty nice.

And here I am, wondering what DMSI will do to her lol.

Things are obvious today. I notice some great shifts taking place. Mood is up, humor is great. Hunger is massive. My attitude to things is changing, aswellas internals keep changing, like my character.

Im having moments that I feel how things were obvious the whole time and am just coming to terms today with it. Like the glimpses take time and now I feel, because its so obvious, what the heck was I doing ;_;

I literally feel everything flowing to me, like rushing unto and to me. Nothing excluded, all inclusive.

Completely owning up to myself. Fully. Tear shit up, tear the club down. Owing shit to no-one. Going in. I KNOW im value. Furtune favours the bold. Life is fun. Other kind of breed. Full self-ownership. Solid in my frame, in my composure, holding my intent superior and up high. If arrogance is usefull, do it. Having a mission.

If nothing makes sense, its fine. Thrive in the chaos. Its open field. Hunting season.

(02-11-2020, 10:50 AM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ]Bloom day 1 ( ran 5 loops over night, clear nagging that I should, yet recalling tgis, the same "5 loops" nudge is voicing itself )

Having mad mindfog. Sleepy yet stable mood. Moment I consider early bed I cant move as if im locked in autopilot.

Anyways;

Had appointment today with my psych. Drank some coffee beforehand, 2 other people joined. One woman who is specialized in addictions ( lol at the timing ) and a guy who was taking the place of the other woman that was sick today.

We talked about stuff. Introductions took place. I engaged everyone pretty nicely. Then we went over the growth over the past year. "L'", who is my to go person/casemanager, nice ass and what not, was all happy and stuff. Cool.

Then... I brought up my quitting of smoking, aswell as other substances that causes dopamine release. I locked eyes with L at some points, without me wavering the engagement. I coined also, and let me phrase "I am quitting smoking, yet also 18+ sites, and other stimulances that cause a dopamine release" she asked further. Before I knew I was talking about nofap, openly, how quitting porn is beneficial, and is boosting my life positively in numerous fields, such as socializing, leadership and what not.

In these moments we held eye contact, longer then whats considering norm and it was very much a relaxed gaze. Her bodylanguage shifted and slipped composure. Got great feedback from everyone in the room. It was pretty nice.

And here I am, wondering what DMSI will do to her lol.

Things are obvious today. I notice some great shifts taking place. Mood is up, humor is great. Hunger is massive. My attitude to things is changing, aswellas internals keep changing, like my character.

Im having moments that I feel how things were obvious the whole time and am just coming to terms today with it. Like the glimpses take time and now I feel, because its so obvious, what the heck was I doing ;_;

Is your hunger constant or does it ebb and flow??

Ebb and flow, yet hunger is more present then not like a black hole.

Im starting to see more external things now.
I want to dress more high end designer.
Im feeling like afamous youtuber.

Today is bloomday, yet I still have this nagging to run DMSI.

I wonder what im running from, seeing the momentum thats going.