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I'm just back from the dentist. After the end of my appointment, I went to the reception to pay for my visit. and another hygienist/receptionist was opening letters and talking to the other receptionist. She was kinda turning me on as she was brushing off her shirt over her breasts to remove some dust or something... It was almost excessive as if she wanted to get my attention on her body. She was also dancing while she was talking.. with a lot of hips movements.
She did open one letter and when she did try to pull out the letter out of the enveloppe, she found out that the letter was glued to the enveloppe... I then commented: Ohh. You have just stumbled on a letter from someone that REALLY love licking...
Both receptionist did giggle... They caught the sexual inuendo that I just made. Then she did reply to me that she couldn't do that with her tongue because sometimes she has 50 or more letters to send out...
Then I said... well, you never know... There is some girls that really really love licking... they are never tired of it... She did like my bantering... She smiled and left...
that was fun... my flirting/interaction sexualization is beginning...
Day #7:
I am starting to feel my sex drive increasing... It is part of Stage 1 goals and It works!
The effect is similar to what I felt with DMSI... However since this time my intent to make the goal happen is stronger than ever... I feel that the effect is stronger this time because I know that it will happen.
Day #8:
Today was possibly the first nice day of the spring. This was a warm sunny day. I did planned to redo my expedition trip to the park in bike. I have been too busy finally and I had to choose between going to the park or to the gym. I opted to go at the gym.
It was a good class. There was 4 women in the class and I had good exchanges with 2 of them.
In the evening, I had to go at the grocery. While I was taking a salad and trying to put it in one of these damn thin fruit plastic bags, the most amazing young woman popped out of nowhere and did just pass by me. She must have been wearing yoga pants or something incredibly molding. She was real hot. And I did look at her intensely. She did smile at me and I did smile back. maybe 30 seconds after she did pass by close to me a second time.
The good: Her smiling at me. I guess that this can be an indicator of interest.
The bad: I just did froze in place and I didn't talk to her
I have several thoughts about not having talked to her.
1. There is maybe a 3 seconds window to open the girl.
The situation cannot be analyzed consciously and decide to act consciously. The right action has to come out automatically. I expect SM3 program to assist me doing that but I will not 100% rely on subliminal magic to make that happen. I also believe in practice and repetition. Without subliminals, practicing something that I want to become an habit would be the way I would get it. So, on top of listening to SM3, I will practice relentlessly until opening attractive women enthusiastically becomes a second nature that I do automatically.
I'll do mental rehearsal and real life practice. That will achieve 2 things. a) Make opening women an automatic action and b) this will pump up my self-confidence and self-assurance muscles.
2. Now that I consciously intent to approach women to have sex, it makes approaching harder.
Usually, I'm a very outgoing very social person who is going to talk to everyone. It is natural and easy and I don't have to think about it. It just happen naturally.
Having a specific intent in mind (have sex), this is weird, this seems to give me approach anxiety. I'm not sure that I understand why exactly... I feel like I have my skin thick enough to manage rejections... I do not think that this is what I fear...
I don't know if I am going to say something crazy but I think that the idea that I could have sex with a very attractive woman very quickly from the time that I meet her isn't fully digested in my mind... Lot of casual sex with attractive women (I prefer quality vs quantity) is what I desire but this is still definitely outside my actual comfort zone.
It could be that it isn't yet integrated that being a sex magnet is now my new reality. Maybe that I'm doubting that I'm deserving it. Maybe there is a fear stopping me to seize the opportunity. Something related to my self-esteem and self-image and what my subconscious mind believe that I deserve... I don't know, it isn't clear or obvious to me what is happening...
Stage 1, Day 9:
I went to my massage parlor to get a massage. The therapist taking care of me was cute and I was feeling a good vibe between us. So during the massage, I did flirt a bit with her. She did react well to it. So at the end, I essentially told her that:
I would like to see you again to spend time with you. Is this something that you would like to do?
Her: what would we do?
Me: I feel a physical attraction that I would like to explore with you.
Her: I cannot accept because I have an husband. He is not around right now and I'm going to meet him in August in France.
Me: No problem. I won't insist then. You gave me an excellent massage nonetheless.
1. I guess that I could have offer platonic activities to which she would have agreed to but I would have probably wasted my time since that wouldn't have been my ultimate goal in spending time with her.
2. It is funny. I'm not sure why she took the effort to mention that her husband was away. Was it some sort of way to tell me, I shouldn't but if you insist that could be possible? I didn't want to do that. You are in a monogamous relation. I won't tamper with it. End of story. but I cannot help to wonder why she did that...
3. The fact that I did express my desires and that despite my offer has being declined, the whole exchange did remain courtous. I'm impressed with how much class and no crass language, I have basically offer her to have sex with me. This is a huge relief and a positive experience as it kinda is a step forward removing the irrational fear of expressing my sexual interest that has been instilled in me by social programming.
After my massage, I went to the park. I did read a little bit. I did miss few stunning girls that I didn't see coming by because I was reading but I have also did exchange few eye contacts with women passing by and even smiles... I did flirt with 2 girls when I did have the chance (one was incredibly hot). Reaction has been good. It is funny that I'm not feeling compelled to stop these women yet, and tell them that I find them cute and I want to meet them real quick but I'm feeling that this is coming really soon. When a woman that I find attractive cross my path and we exchange eye contact, I feel like the way the she look at me is basically a green light to open her. I just need to surf the wave and feel good about the whole endeavor because I'm feeling that I am on the path of becoming a sex magnet for real... So for a second day, my challenge to get 3 solid contact with women that I meet outside hasn't been succeeded but I don't care because I'm feeling the progress in my inner state and the feedback that the outside world is returning me.
Another observation. The manifestation feature of SM3 seems to kick in. Every where I go, I see women that are attractive. Once, I tweak my behavior some more, having sex will essentially become like picking up one of the many low hanging fruits that I'm going to find everywhere... very cool...
Stage 1, Day 10:
While I was doing AM6 program I did stumble into Mode One book from Alan Roger Currie. Upon my first reading, I thought that I was operating under Mode Two which is you end up expressing your interest but you beat around the bush a lot. I was saying that because when I'm feeling it, I like to flirt with women while being avoiding to directly expressing my sexual interest. The rational that I was providing myself for doing so was: Well, 95% of all communication is non-verbal so I'm going allow myself to feel my sexual feelings while I am conversing normally with the woman and my state should transfer to her and something will happen magically. Actually, this is the promise of DMSI. If she is very attracted, things will happen by themselves.
I think that I was fooling myself by providing my conscious mind a justification for not being direct about my desires!
I have just completed his other book 'Ooooh say it again' which discuss mostly how to use Mode One in a seduction context. This is very inspiring book, BTW. In it, he returns back on the various modes and provide the following clarification about Mode 3. Mode 3 has 3 sub-categories: a) You feel so much fear of rejection to express your interest that you don't approach women at all. b) You talk a lot to women but limit the topics to 'small-talk' kind of things. And never express your interest. c) You lie about your true interests by saying that you are interested in a platonic friendship.
On first Mode One book, there wasn't that Mode 3 sub-categorization (as far as I remember) and because I don't mislead women about my true intent, I did figured that I wasn't Mode 3.
but I do a lot of small talk without expressing my interest.
I started to follow him on YT and there is a video where he explains that there is 3 flavor of Mode 1.
Hardcore: Within 2 minutes, you are going to say that you want to have sex and you are going to use explicit language
Normal: Within 5 to 10 minutes, you are going to express your sexual interest again with explicit language but maybe less hardcore than hardcore mode
1.5: You are straightforward about your intent but you do it properly by using PG-rated language (like I did with the massage therapist)
So, if I want to make an honest assessment of how I used to behave, I would say that I was Mode 2.5.
In my last week experiences, when I have the strong intent to open women to express them my interest, I have a hard time doing it (that is mode 3). I said that I have no issue talking about anything with women as long as it is small-talk only (That is mode 3) and sometimes (when I feel cocky, I guess), if I'm seeing IOIs from a girl, I will give myself permission to flirt with her (IOW, beat around the bush Aka: Mode 2).
I think that it is important to make honest assessment of where you are when you are trying to change your behavior. You cannot change much if you are in denial about what you currently do...
BTW, if SM3 ever gets updated, suggested reading could include ARC books and 'Oooooh say it again' in particular and if the program itself gets tweaked, I think it could be an improvement to integrate some ideas from ARC philosophy. Being direct about your desires is certainly the most honest, alpha and ethical method (possibly the most efficient one too) out there to be a successful polyamorous seducer.
Actually, I think that I have stumbled into some great idea.
AM: Embed honest and straightforward Mode One communication (Must be some of it already in current version) (Mode One isn't about seduction per say. Only honest communication)
SM3: Erotic seductive Mode One communication from his book 'Oooooh... say that again'. (Mode One communication used for seduction purpose)
Again some of the ARC ideas must already be inside IML AM/SM programs but I really think that ARC books are great references containing ideas that has possibly the potential to make 2 programs even better...
I like using a "hybrid" version of Mode One, where I use RJ's SS techniques as I'm doing Mode 1.
Lucky you. I did buy SS home study course back when it was released circa 1999-2000... I have never successfully mastered it. It is essentially NLP applied to seduction. I did stop trying when I did figure that was actually unnecessary.
My take on it is you are better mastering the fundamental basics and once you have decent success and you still want to add some more punch to your communication effectiveness, then you can try adding NLP/SS on top of the rest.
Using NLP/SS must be really enjoyable when it fully become an unconscious expertise.
How long did it take you to use SS well?
Day 11:
I did flirt with the grocery cashier again. I start to feel that she likes me a lot like, I should pull the trigger on that girl.
I was planning to do my bike expedition during the afternoon but I got busy with work. I did it after dinner instead.
I have seen 2 attractive women that I did not open. Something that I have figured during day 12. It is that I simply find it awkward to initiate conversation with strangers on the sidewalk. It is definitely an area where I want to expand my comfort zone and I want to overcome that fear. but this is definitely not something deep rooted stopping me approaching women as I have been plenty social yesterday (day12).
I am in an open LTR but if you have read my DMSIs and AM6 journals, you know that beside the occasional fling, I am far from being a super ladies's man. Since I didn't use my theorical freedom, I was suspecting that my current partner would assume that since we have never rediscussed the matter, things would have returned to a monogamous mode. I think that this is what she would like and she was acting accordingly to make that happen without ever addressing verbally the topic. I was apprenhending her reaction when I start getting more results from SM3.
In fact, she did confess that she felt my behavior change since a week or 2 (coincide with SM3 listening start. Another proof that the program is doing something). Started to check me out. Check the time it takes to do my errands. Check when I get out of the house through our smart ring camera and so on. Therefore, I felt important to sit down and have a discussion. This resulted into a 10 minutes drama. My suspicions were right but bottomline, she understands me and she is reassured. What is important to her is:
1. Having quality non-sexual attention from me
2. Feel that her main gf spot isn't threatened and that I keep providing her needs (which man wouldn't to do that for a woman accepting her man casual polygamy needs?)
The conclusion of this discussion has been positive. I am now feeling better. I feel that being honest about my desires and intention with my gf is beneficial for my self-esteem and removes a concern that could be latent in my mind when I go out to meet women.
Day12:
My gf and I went to the naturist beach. During the day, I have been a real social butterfly. Of course, I didn't pull the trigger in the presence of my gf out of appropriateness. She is ok with the idea of me pursuing casual sex partners but probably not doing it in front of her (but I guess it is not impossible to change that a bit and might even at some point enjoy doing it with me...) but I did allow me to playfully tease 2 strippers like girls right beside us. The only issue was that there was awefully lot of mosquitos. With mosquitos repellant, you were fine but without it, it was mosquitos hell. The 2 girls were harrassed by mosquitos. I did offer them to borrow my spray. Which they did. I did tell the hot one that her tits needed some more. She did smiled at me and did spray them some more and started to rub them... I like that... It is me playing with my dominance and testing the girl submissive attitude...
I lost count to how many women (and men. I was social. Not really hitting on women) I had initiate convo but it is well over 3 and vibe was good. I didn't collect phone # or pull the trigger out of decency for my gf (but maybe this is a limiting belief that I have that could be changed... As long as everyone is fine, I guess this is doable...). One exception, is cute woman who is maintaning the beach private FB group. We connected on FB.
Day 13:
it was hot and sunny day. I went to the nearby park in bicyle. I need to find something else. I might have seen 2-3 women in an hour. I'm still very uncomfortable to the idea of running after people to initiate conversations. It is simply not my thing.
Also only from a mathematical point of view. If I only see 3 women in an hour. That could take me years to meet someone with whom I get along well. versus a spot where I could meet 100 different women during the same period of time...
I came to the conclusion that I would have to fill my free time with more 'productive' activities. I can tell you that I have been doing bicycle in a nearby park and during weekdays... I haven't seen much people. That activity lack the women volume that I would need to improve myself...
I'm trying out to think about other things to do:
- Regular errand at the grocery and drugstore are among some of my favorite. I frame those as cool adventures where anything can happen
- I can start going in a coffee shop located in an office building complex that is walking distance from my place.
- Shopping mall (if I have something to buy)
- My crossfit gym is opening a Yoga class once a week. For the sake of socializing with the gym women that I already know. This could good as well.
- Take the metro to go take a coffee downtown (not really the destination that matter but more the journey in public transportation)
As a last resort... I could hang out at the closest metro station around 3PM when people start coming back from work. I have a negative association with hanging out in a public spot for the sole purpose of meeting women for casual sex... OTOH, there is nothing wrong wanting to meet women for sex... If I only spent 20-30 minutes to gather 3 phone #s... I should give it a try... If you want something, you need schedule some time to make it happen...
Day 14:
Today is my birthday... Nothing special to report except the flood of happy birth wishes coming from FB 'friends'.
I went during lunch time to the crossfit gym. So that way, it will be out of the way and have my whole afternoon/evening to spend with kids and gf.
Upon my entrance in the gym, a young lady (I have learned that she is a nurse. I love those women) immediately did open me. She took me for someone else by asking me how I do find the sport since I started coming... It didn't make any sense to me since I am a gym member since 3 years. Honestly, I think that it was the first time that I was seeing her. I did tease her with the fact that she must have made a mistake on the person because I'm bald and there is a lot of bald guys in the gym. We found out that it was the first time that we were meeting because I mostly go to the gym in the morning or the first class in the afternoon while she mostly come in the evening and/or during lunch time.
BTW, that is something that I love if you can do that. Most people that have a regular time to go at the gym. If you can afford to go at the gym around the clock, you are going to meet different people.
So, that was a cool exchange that did happen effortlessly. While I was talking to her, in my head, I was yes. I'm going to suggest that we do something outside the gym. I'm going propose her before leaving at the end of the class.
I didn't suggest. She was less friendly at the end of the class. I went see her and she quickly said it was nice meeting you see you next time. but I'll see her tomorrow evening at the gym first yoga class.
Lesson #1: If you have something to ask, do it while you are in a high point. Don't wait later...
Next, as I was leaving from the gym in my car, I did see a cute girl walking on the sidewalk. Opening my window and starting to flirt with her did cross my mind but I didn't (Same thing did happen yesterday). To me, doing that is kinda creepy... But sometime, you see that in some reality based porn clips. Something like fun school bus or things like that. Despite not being sure that it is a good idea... I should at least try once or few times to see if it is a good idea or not... If not immediately a good idea... maybe with some tweaking such as parking a little bit ahead and get out of my car to encounter the lady would be cooler.
After that, I did stop at a coffee shop to buy a frozen limonade. I did spot a cute girl. I told to myself. Hey after I have my limonade, I'm going to sit nearby and start talking to her. As I was in line to order, I saw her leaving. Damn!
Lesson #2: If you see someone that you want to approach. You better do it immediately because you might lose the chance to meet that person.
Another casual observation that I did while I was in the coffee shop is this. Your positioning is very important. One thing that I would hate to do is to start chasing women. During my stay, I did see 3 interesting women coming in. buy some drink and leave. If instead of being on a table, I would have been close to the entrance. I could have smiled at them. Make some funny cocky comments to make them giggle and open them some more on their way out.
Overall, I feel like I'm doing progress at a turtle's pace but as long as I'm learning from my mistakes, I guess we can say that the whole experimentation is beneficial...
I have been invited to go dinner at a mexican restaurant by my gf and my kids.
Our waitress was cute and adorable and she did take care of us very well. My type of girl but since I was with my gf, I did refrain from flirting with her (You'll see why this detail is important below).
At the end of the dinner, I got an icecream with nachos with a big mexican hat to highlight my birthday.
The kids did see baby foot soccer game and they wanted to play with it before we leave. It was getting late. I wasn't feeling for it but I have been convinced to go there. Apparently the barmaid is in charge of the game ball so I go see her and ask for her for the ball and then she told me that she cannot give it to me because the baby foot game is inside the section considered as the bar section and kids aren't allowed to be there.
No big deal se we head toward the exit. On my way out, I notice 3 young and sexy women at the bar having fun. When we are out, the kids now want to go see a fountain. Seeing that we won't head directly back home. I feel the need to go pee. So I tell family to go at the fountain, I need to go back in the restaurant to use their restroom. Now this is where the fun starts. I go to the restroom and on my way out, when I pass by the 3 hot girls at the bar, they open me and start chatting with me. So, ok, I must admit, I was flattered by the attention and did like it. Tell me what you think but it could either be that I was kinda peacocking like Mystery with the big fat ridiculous mexican hat or SM3 made the girls attracted to me. I wonder if they did notice me the first time that I did pass by but refrained from talking to me because I was with my family. I did ask them how old they were and they told me 21. That is one good aspect of hanging in bar, sometime I refrain from talking to a woman because she looks young. In a bar, it is a pretty safe assumption that everyone is an adult (too bad that I don't like much going at bars...) If I would have been on my own. Most likely than not, I would have stayed a bit with them.
Outside the restaurant. 2 other young cute women jump on me. They said: Hey look, there is an awesome man with a mexican hat. He must be having fire. I told them no. I don't have fire. But they stick around and start flirting with me. Again, I'm holding back my desire to flirt back because my gf and kids and not far away but I keep socializing with these cut girls. Then, at the corner of an eye, I see my gf witnessing the whole thing and she doesn't seem too happy. So I say goodbye to the girls and I go see the gf. It takes few mins to calm her down. She didn't even mentionned the 2 girls that I was with outside the restaurant. She thinks that I found an excuse to go back in the restaurant to exchange contact info with the waitress. No idea if she saw something in the way the waitress was looking at me during the meal. Maybe... Women are perceptive to that type things more than men. But the point is, I'm honest with my journal and my real intent was only to go to the restroom and I'm extra carefull to act respectfully when I am with her. She accepted the fact that I may have women on the side as long as I'm discreet about it and not doing it in front of her. I definitely need to have another discussion about that event with her to clarify that with her. If I'm 100% transparent with her about what I am doing and we have an agreement. I need to have her trusting me that I'm respecting the agreement.
Takeaway: It is so funny about how much action and thinking that I have been doing during the last few entries about approaching and that I have been hit on easily by 5 girls that are exactly the type of girls that I want to have casual sex with...
I guess SM3 is for something for that nice surprise...
I would say its a combination of SM attracting them and your hat giving them an easy opener.
Also I think you're doing the right thing with your G/F.
Stage 1, Day 15:
No free time to try to meet women today. I went to the gym at the end of the afternoon. We were 6. 5 guys and 1 girl.
The girl is sexy in its way but also usually very reserved and/or shy. She did open up today for the first time. She did reply back to me at 2-3 comments that I made outloud about the workout of the day (a 30 minutes long workout)and it was beautiful to start hearing her bubbly energy. I was commenting how hard the work out would be. and she was doing her best to reframe the situation as positive as possible. I did tease her by asking her if she was a life coach to be as good as that to cheerleading people.
From that discussion, I have learned what she do as a living as she told that to explain why she was good at motivating people.
Tonight, I am going to return to the gym as they will be starting to give a yoga class on Wednesday. I do really think that it is going to be beneficial for my health but as a side benefit, usually, the ratio man/woman is good in yoga class...
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