(04-06-2019, 06:51 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Yesterday I was doing some deep emotional work apparently. E3 in this program is no joke. Just want to remind people that it's not always going to be fun or easy, but it is worth while.
You don't have to go into the specifics if you don't want to. But I'm interested in hearing what's going on. I feel like I've been on a bit of a rollercoaster lately, trying to plant my feet somewhere but I just keep going with the healing. It's like part of me wants to say enough, this is too intense. But another part is telling me keep going, this is the path to happiness.
(04-06-2019, 08:45 AM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ] (04-06-2019, 06:51 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Yesterday I was doing some deep emotional work apparently. E3 in this program is no joke. Just want to remind people that it's not always going to be fun or easy, but it is worth while.
You don't have to go into the specifics if you don't want to. But I'm interested in hearing what's going on. I feel like I've been on a bit of a rollercoaster lately, trying to plant my feet somewhere but I just keep going with the healing. It's like part of me wants to say enough, this is too intense. But another part is telling me keep going, this is the path to happiness.
Some days, the parts of me that are healing are dealing with things that cause some turmoil that I can still notice at a conscious level. Yesterday, I could feel part of myself crying for most of the day. GF has felt that for three or four days in a row.
I spent most of yesterday being short tempered and irritable because of it, and it has required patience dealing with GF for the same reason during this time. But I know I am making solid progress, because I can definitely feel it.
I have tried to make the process as easy and comfortable as possible, but apparently either it's just not possible to make it completely easy and comfortable, or I still don't understand how to yet. I'm sure it will turn out to be the latter.
But if I am dealing with it, through everything I put into the script to make this easy and comfortable, then I know at least some of you are too. So just please keep in mind that this is a process that leads to a better future for you, and don't give up on it for anything.
Pain is temporary. Results are not.
If only I could figure out how to make it painless. I'm working on it.
Tbh it's kind of a relief hearing that Shannon. I've had days where it pretty much felt like part of me just wanted to break down and cry, but I was stuck at work. But it's a relief because I had assumed I was doing something wrong and bypassing that painless part of the script. So for a while I didn't acknowledge those feelings because I felt that they were a distraction from healing vs the healing occurring.
(04-06-2019, 01:23 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]If only I could figure out how to make it painless. I'm working on it.
Far as I can tell, it’s there. Normally I’d say progress always comes at a price, but I don’t seem to be paying one here. Excellent work.
Its not there for everyone yet.but I have a few tricks left up my sleeve. Just wait till you guys get a load of USLM4...
(04-07-2019, 02:54 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Its not there for everyone yet.but I have a few tricks left up my sleeve. Just wait till you guys get a load of USLM4...
@
Shannon what new tricks do you have for USLM4?
(04-07-2019, 04:05 PM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ] (04-07-2019, 02:54 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Its not there for everyone yet.but I have a few tricks left up my sleeve. Just wait till you guys get a load of USLM4...
@Shannon what new tricks do you have for USLM4?
You're going to have to wait and see.
Most days are good. Yesterday night I forgot to stop for my break, and we listened to LTU5 for 5 loops on the night we should have started our 2 day break. Yesterday was hard for GF but we made it through the day and it ended up being a good one, we went on a date and even though the movie was aimless, plotless, pointless, worthless, stupid, badly written, had no ending and a waste of my time, money and brain cells (Beach Bum - don't see it), we ended up having a good day. Normally movies like that piss me off and put me in a bad mood. But this time, I got over it relatively quickly.
Today has been a better day than I expected for both of us so far.
I noted a lot of subconscious efforts to distract me from working on USLM4, and I had to thwart them a number of times. That usually means the program is seen as threat to my subconscious status quo, which is a good thing. It means that program will get shit done.
The settings for USLM4 are the strangest I have ever seen, but the models were run again and again and that's what came out again and again. Let's hope this is going to be normal for 6G. Maybe we can get it to the point of just running one loop a week! (I'm not holding my breath, though.)
(04-08-2019, 01:38 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Most days are good. Yesterday night I forgot to stop for my break, and we listened to LTU5 for 5 loops on the night we should have started our 2 day break. Yesterday was hard for GF but we made it through the day and it ended up being a good one, we went on a date and even though the movie was aimless, plotless, pointless, worthless, stupid, badly written, had no ending and a waste of my time, money and brain cells (Beach Bum - don't see it), we ended up having a good day. Normally movies like that piss me off and put me in a bad mood. But this time, I got over it relatively quickly.
Today has been a better day than I expected for both of us so far.
I noted a lot of subconscious efforts to distract me from working on USLM4, and I had to thwart them a number of times. That usually means the program is seen as threat to my subconscious status quo, which is a good thing. It means that program will get shit done.
The settings for USLM4 are the strangest I have ever seen, but the models were run again and again and that's what came out again and again. Let's hope this is going to be normal for 6G. Maybe we can get it to the point of just running one loop a week! (I'm not holding my breath, though.)
Is USLM4 going to be the first official 6G sub released?
(04-08-2019, 01:41 PM)PDjunkie Wrote: [ -> ] (04-08-2019, 01:38 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Most days are good. Yesterday night I forgot to stop for my break, and we listened to LTU5 for 5 loops on the night we should have started our 2 day break. Yesterday was hard for GF but we made it through the day and it ended up being a good one, we went on a date and even though the movie was aimless, plotless, pointless, worthless, stupid, badly written, had no ending and a waste of my time, money and brain cells (Beach Bum - don't see it), we ended up having a good day. Normally movies like that piss me off and put me in a bad mood. But this time, I got over it relatively quickly.
Today has been a better day than I expected for both of us so far.
I noted a lot of subconscious efforts to distract me from working on USLM4, and I had to thwart them a number of times. That usually means the program is seen as threat to my subconscious status quo, which is a good thing. It means that program will get shit done.
The settings for USLM4 are the strangest I have ever seen, but the models were run again and again and that's what came out again and again. Let's hope this is going to be normal for 6G. Maybe we can get it to the point of just running one loop a week! (I'm not holding my breath, though.)
Is USLM4 going to be the first official 6G sub released?
no. Believe it or not, we have a long way to go before 6G is finished yet. I have to finish making Beast 18, test it, and even if it achieves design spec, I have to mine all the tech out of it and convert it for use in the skeleton script.
If it does not achieve design spe, I have to develop, build and test B19 and then do all that.
The first program in 6G is going to be ASC.
(04-08-2019, 01:50 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]The first program in 6G is going to be ASC.
ASC in 6G would be ridiculous. In its current version it's already ludicrously effective.