whome's LTU5 journal

[whome]

Day 73

Still keeping the schedule.

Dual ear infections are wiping me out. I'm waking super exhausted and shot. Then yesterday my right bottom molar cracked. No pain, but it'll have to have a crown put on it.

My body is shutting down. This makes it hard to do anything.

[whome]

Day 75

The ear infection is kinda my fault, kinda not. My doc prescribed clotrimazole, which wasn't covered by my insurance because the pharmacist said it's over-the-counter. So I got the foot drops, which... might not have been the best thing? I got different drops and things are feeling a lot better.

Still not a ton to say about LTU progress, but I am feeling much less shitty. So I have that going for me.

[unlearn88]

Is the price of this program really $1,495?

[Roy]

Is the price of this program really $1,495?

It was 600 when it was released.

[whome]

Day 79

My sleep is still terrible; I'm still waking exhausted. A run of LTU last night, but nothing much to say.

Dental work today: a crown on a molar. Oh well, just more drilling and grinding.

[whome]

Jesus Christ.

Ear infections. Cracked molar. And just now I had just put some ear drops into my ear and was walking with my head to the side when I smashed into a sconce. A huge chunk of glass broke off, lightly cut my finger, and now I have to replace the sconce. The whole thing is $650 new and I sent an email to the company begging to buy just the glass.

Nothing is going right, and I don't like it.

[whome]

Day 82

Sleep is a bit better.

I went to the dentist to get a crown for the cracked molar, and the dentist ground down two teeth opposite to the one getting the crown. I was so angry and still am, as now I have two flat teeth where I didn't before.

I honestly don't know what to do, or even if there is anything that can be done.

As for the sconce, it's $650 everywhere in the US, but in Europe I found a seller selling it for €300. With shipping, that's about $400 total, which is probably about the best price I'm going to be able to get.

I'm onto my two-days-off now.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

That's fucking terrible! Can you sue them?

[whome]

That's really tough.

This dentist works out of the same practice as a close family friend dentist who I trust. There's no suing without blowing up a major relationship. And I'm not sure I could make the case that it was improper; I had someone else at that place (who I also trust and who's also done major work in my mouth) look at the teeth, and he made the argument that it's not unreasonable what was done. I'm still rather angry but I don't see any path forward. There's no restoring the teeth short of putting new crowns on them, which would be destructive and probably worse overall, and the dentists who I actually trust with restorative work are in that practice.

My hands seem to be pretty tied.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

That's really tough.

This dentist works out of the same practice as a close family friend dentist who I trust. There's no suing without blowing up a major relationship. And I'm not sure I could make the case that it was improper; I had someone else at that place (who I also trust and who's also done major work in my mouth) look at the teeth, and he made the argument that it's not unreasonable what was done. I'm still rather angry but I don't see any path forward. There's no restoring the teeth short of putting new crowns on them, which would be destructive and probably worse overall, and the dentists who I actually trust with restorative work are in that practice.

My hands seem to be pretty tied.

That sucks man. I'm sorry that shit happened to you.

[whome]

That sucks man. I'm sorry that shit happened to you.

Thanks.

It feels like the universe is dropping one pile of shit after another onto my plate. Ear infection. Then miscommunication in getting my prescription, not letting it heal for a week. Then the cracking of the molar. Then smashing of the sconce. Then the tooth thing.

What's eaten at me in the past, and what's currently on my mind, is the general self-help attitude that you're supposed to feel safe in the universe, that you're supposed to have an attitude that you're in a universe of plenty, not one of scarcity. And I want to believe that, but it feels like I'd be lying to myself. And the idea of "hey, the universe is treating you poorly, but it's up to you to change yourself so that it treats you better" feels straight-up abusive.

I want to have a better relationship with the universe, but I honestly don't know what I've been doing to piss it off so much lately.

[whome]

Day 88

Still listening on the schedule.

Sudden cold: congestions, chills, cough. Surprise, surprise, it's when the healer is back in town and after we have a session that went deep. Is my body rebelling?

Meanwhile, nothing else is happening. The crown will be put in by a different dentist, but that's about all the status I have to give.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Day 88

Still listening on the schedule.

Sudden cold: congestions, chills, cough. Surprise, surprise, it's when the healer is back in town and after we have a session that went deep. Is my body rebelling?

Meanwhile, nothing else is happening. The crown will be put in by a different dentist, but that's about all the status I have to give.

Do your other teeth need to be crowned?

[whome]

Do your other teeth need to be crowned?

They seem to be surviving in their stunted state, so for now I'm not touching them.