12-04-2019, 12:52 PM
Day 68 (day 5 on)
Woke super tired. Today was a cuddle day, the first in about two weeks. Lots of grief came up, but things settled down. Hope it helps.
Meanwhile, the work concert is done. Last night I crammed for the other big concert that I have, and I’ll basically be doing that every night until it happens. I’m torn between leaving the group, as it’s not quite what I’m looking for group-wise, and using it as practice for memorizing music I don’t necessarily have a connection to. I can’t tell if that’s clever or self-hating. That’s the problem being me, that the ways I punish myself are so logical and make such sense that I can’t tell if they’re good or not.
Woke super tired. Today was a cuddle day, the first in about two weeks. Lots of grief came up, but things settled down. Hope it helps.
Meanwhile, the work concert is done. Last night I crammed for the other big concert that I have, and I’ll basically be doing that every night until it happens. I’m torn between leaving the group, as it’s not quite what I’m looking for group-wise, and using it as practice for memorizing music I don’t necessarily have a connection to. I can’t tell if that’s clever or self-hating. That’s the problem being me, that the ways I punish myself are so logical and make such sense that I can’t tell if they’re good or not.
I share the details of my life in my posts to help in the understanding of the effects of the subliminals I use. I am only open to advice that relates to the use of the subliminals.
