04-21-2019, 10:14 AM
Yeah, three posts in a single weekend about a sub that I'm no longer running. Weird. I'll try not to make it into a habit. 
So, after reflecting on what I'd written yesterday, something occurred to me that may have been glaringly obvious to anyone else. The memory effects that I'd described could have (as one tentative explanation) been the Disconnect from Negative Stress scripting, if I'd found any aspect of the experiences that comprise my sexual history negatively stressful -- which may possible, as sex could be considered physically or creatively stressful, even if sexual experiences are also extremely relaxing and stress-relieving, both emotionally and biochemically. While those stresses could be viewed as positive (or even net-positive or neutral) ones, terms like "positive" and "negative" are still subjectively defined by the observer, and the classification may not always be a conscious one.
Experiences are not necessarily only one thing, if it's even possible for them to be only one thing, nor are they necessarily perceived in only one way. If no experience is devoid of a quality that I bring to (or perceive in) every experience, then that quality could, ostensibly, permeate everything that I've ever done since that pattern began. Some experiences, like sex or exercise, may contain both stress-inducing and stress-relieving elements at the same time.
Admittedly, despite my own personal experiences on the sub, the Disconnect from Negative Stress scripting in 3.3.1 may already account for this. I know nothing of how it's designed or what it's truly intended to encourage, and 3.3 and 3.3.1 may be the first subs that I've run that have contained it. But this notion does make me see more value in a) reducing the investment of negative stress (or, at least, negative stress-perception) into new experiences than in b) attempting to reject, forget, or disown all old experiences that were ever infused with it. For me, a is a more appealing path to a calm and relaxed future than b. Especially if b means that large chunks of my personal history suddenly become unwelcome or depersonalized solely because of how the past version of myself chose to perceive them. Who I am now is not who I've been, but I'd still prefer to keep the option of remembering that who I've been was once also me. Wow, that's tricky to phrase.
So, after reflecting on what I'd written yesterday, something occurred to me that may have been glaringly obvious to anyone else. The memory effects that I'd described could have (as one tentative explanation) been the Disconnect from Negative Stress scripting, if I'd found any aspect of the experiences that comprise my sexual history negatively stressful -- which may possible, as sex could be considered physically or creatively stressful, even if sexual experiences are also extremely relaxing and stress-relieving, both emotionally and biochemically. While those stresses could be viewed as positive (or even net-positive or neutral) ones, terms like "positive" and "negative" are still subjectively defined by the observer, and the classification may not always be a conscious one.
Experiences are not necessarily only one thing, if it's even possible for them to be only one thing, nor are they necessarily perceived in only one way. If no experience is devoid of a quality that I bring to (or perceive in) every experience, then that quality could, ostensibly, permeate everything that I've ever done since that pattern began. Some experiences, like sex or exercise, may contain both stress-inducing and stress-relieving elements at the same time.
Admittedly, despite my own personal experiences on the sub, the Disconnect from Negative Stress scripting in 3.3.1 may already account for this. I know nothing of how it's designed or what it's truly intended to encourage, and 3.3 and 3.3.1 may be the first subs that I've run that have contained it. But this notion does make me see more value in a) reducing the investment of negative stress (or, at least, negative stress-perception) into new experiences than in b) attempting to reject, forget, or disown all old experiences that were ever infused with it. For me, a is a more appealing path to a calm and relaxed future than b. Especially if b means that large chunks of my personal history suddenly become unwelcome or depersonalized solely because of how the past version of myself chose to perceive them. Who I am now is not who I've been, but I'd still prefer to keep the option of remembering that who I've been was once also me. Wow, that's tricky to phrase.
