mat422 alpha journal

[mat422]

Well its a new year and I finally decided to purchase the alpha male subliminal. While I don't have a specific new years resolution, I am definitely making a promise of improving myself in the best way possible. This subliminal has been on my mind for a while now and I'm hoping it can be the catalyst to my improvement.

The past few years I've made significant improvements in my life with the help of practicing mindfulness, but I knew something deeper was going on underneath that I needed to address. I've always been very calm and coolheaded. I've learned to make it appear that I'm not anxious on the outside, but on the inside I feel awful. I'm really looking forward to giving my mind a major overhaul with this subliminal.

[ronatello]

You have made a wise choice going with Alpha Male. You may hit rough patches here and there but the most important thing to remember is: keep going and NEVER GIVE UP! And I'm looking forward to hear about your progress, not to mention the others here!

[Shannon]

Congratulations on joining "the club". I am confident you will enjoy the results you get.

[mat422]

1/2/11

Woke up this morning feeling surprisingly good. I don't know how fast this subliminal can work, but I definitely feel different today. Everything seems clearer and I'm more in the present moment instead of thinking so much.

Weird dreams last night too. I vaguely remember them, but they seemed very out of the ordinary.

Also I woke up really early and decided to fall asleep again on my back. I don't really know how it happened but I was in that stage between sleeping and being awake. My whole body felt like it was vibrating and I had a strong pulsating feeling in my tailbone.

I was just curious , but can anyone feel energy inside themselves? I've meditated for a while now and I can actually feel a flow of energy inside my body. When I'm really relaxed I can feel it too. But when I listen to this subliminal I also feel the energy and a kind of dull pressure in my head. Not a headache, it just feels strange.

[mat422]

1/3/11

Well it couldn't all be smooth sailing. I think the subliminal is starting to pull up a lot of emotions inside of me. I'm very tired, almost feel punch drunk and a little irritable. So tonight I'm going to do a little meditation to calm the storm thats raging inside of me.

On the plus side I am greatly enjoying my dreams about cute women. I don't know if its the subliminal doing this or if its just my own imagination. But my dreams have been following a very consistent pattern lately.

Also I'm kind of worried about not having the ultrasonic subliminals loud enough. I used a masked subliminal to set the volume, but I still can't shake that anxious feeling that it isn't going to work. Any higher than how I have it now and I tend to get a headache, so I'm hoping its loud enough.

[ronatello]

I stayed "tired" throughout stage 1 and it tends to lessen when you get to stage 2. And yes, irritability will be with you off and on for the first 2 stages.

[Shannon]

Don't worry about the volume. It's fine. It's working. Just let go and enjoy the ride as much as you can.

[mat422]

1/6/11

Whew, the past few days were rough, but I feel like I'm leveling out again. My head is less foggy and I've got more energy. Still not 100% but I didn't wake up this morning dead tired.

Also came to a realization recently regarding women and relationships and whatnot. I think what I really want is not an abundance of women attracted to me, but the confidence and inner beliefs that allow me to choose whoever I want instead of settling. I'd rather be completely unattached to women and happy, rather than having an abundance of them and still needy for attention. Basically being happy on my own is more of a priority than having an abundance of women in my life.

I always wanted women to do everything because deep down I knew that I never had that strong solid confidence to handle them. I could convince myself logically, but on a more emotional level I felt like a mess. This sub seems to really put me more in control of my emotions, like those negative feelings don't really bother me as much.

[Spiral]

you are going up the rollercoaster right now. You are taking the right steps my friend. Enjoy the journey

[Ryan]

Nice to see another person doing Alpha about the same time as me.

[mat422]

Nice to see another person doing Alpha about the same time as me.

Likewise, although you seem to be a little more advanced than me lol.

[mat422]

1/7/11

Just had a theory that popped into my head today with regards to interacting with women and how some guys just aren't too good with it. They always say children absorb everything like a sponge at a young age and it's the best time for them to learn. Well if some guys growing up had minimal interaction with girls then maybe they haven't learned to read the social cues and don't understand exactly how to interact. I think the key to being good with women with some guys is an early cultivation of it at a young age. It's like riding a bike for them, they never forget because it has all been internalized. It's automatic for them. I think thats why a guy who is a natural with women can't really describe why girls are so into him, its just his beliefs and patterns that were formed at such a young age that makes it effortless for him. Again just a theory but something to think about. Especially on the whole nature vs nurture discussion.

On a side note I have been having violent and terrifying nightmares. I'll just be going through my day and then all of a sudden I remember what I dreamed about last night. Like my most recent nightmare was having my hands chopped off with a large pair of scissors. Also I'm very aggressive in my dreams, almost always beating someone up. Crazy stuff.

I still have the occasional doubt pop into my head about the sub, but I know for sure its doing something. Very subtly however, and I think that this is the way the mind deals with change. I think if you just went from point a to point b too fast your mind might go into shock or something.

[Spiral]

yea you are right about the nightmares. I stopped having those back in like 4th or 5th grade. When I started WM I had a couple and Alpha Male I had more realistic ones where I actually felt pain. Don't let that worry you because It's not real and it will pass in time. I havnt had a nightmare since stage 1

[Ryan]

Fortunately, dreams cannot hurt you. During my withdrawals I had the worst dreams in my life. I literally woke up everyday in a horrible state of confusion, didn't know where I was, thought I was back in 7th grade, felt like dying, the dreams literally became reality for me. Scary stuff. I also noticed later on in the day, after I'd get over the dream, I'd start feeling the emotions from the dream. If it was a depressing memory in my dream, I'd live through it again later in the day. But hey, they passed and no more, so really just have to ride it out Will get better!