lano1106 OF 5.75G journal

[lano1106]

Cycle 1, day 1 On:

I just switched from a 5G program (BASE) to a 5.75G program.

The tech power difference was felt physically. As I started the program, I was going to bed. During the first 5 minutes, I felt some kind of pulsations sweeping my whole body.

I have used the hybrid tricking stream track. When the number of loops are finite, I don't mind picking a hybrid track. For 5G programs requiring something like 16 hours of exposure, I cannot take anything else than the silent ultrasonic track....

I made a dream during the 3-4 hours that I was asleep. A recurring theme that is inducing fear.

Picking up my stuff in a hotel room to make my luggage, not forgetting anything in the room, check out from the hotel and arriving in time at the airport to not miss my flight.

This is a recurring source of fear that you can transpose to many many situations.

To its basic expression, it is the fear of being late.

Missing the bus, being late for an appointment. Not having completed some work before its delivery date and so on.

The way that I was feeling in the dream was calm. It wasn't a nightmare. Just a dream were I must have looked straight in the face one of my many fears lurking in my mind.

If that is the way that my run start, it is an impressive start. I'm not sure yet how it is going to help me become a better person and getting closer to my dreams but I have the intuition that this was the PERFECT program choice for where I am now, the challenges that I encounter and where I want to go.

The other choice would have been WM but honestly, I'm really not in the mindset of socializing. This would have been a wasteful choice plus maybe some women related fears could have hindered the result. If I do OF now. Possibly doing WM or the next DMSI version next would be perfect in terms of timing and situation.

I was trying to evaluate how many 9 days cycles would be required to make 8 months. 10 is 90 days. 30 is 9 months. I would think that 27 9 days cycles would fully cover the 8 months minimum usage period .

I think that it is better to count the number of cycles rather than weeks or months because otherwise, I'm afraid to mix up the cycle on/off periods at some point (I'm good to lose track count of days and time that pass)... We will see...

Again, I realize that my relation with time IS a source of fear...

[K-Train]

Glad to see you onboard @lano1106 ! This program is something else man. If I could sum up what this program does it would be using this line from X Men Origins Wolverine: "We're gonna make you indestructible. But first, we're gonna have to destroy you." Although I'd say OF 5.75G is a bit gentler than that but the concept remains the same. I know you're an ARC fan like me so I'd be anxious to see your results 2-3 months from now when (hopefully) the world opens up more and you implement direct game. Also, you're opinion on the use of cycles vs months makes a lot of sense logically. I've had to go back and adjust my own method of counting days because I believe I missed 1-2 listening days out of confusion.

Anyway, good luck to you man.

[lano1106]

Hi K-Train,

It seems like women and having sex with them isn't part of my priorities anymore since I have done BASE. It seems like I'm more focused in realizing something for myself that will be life changing.

That being said, yes I'm a big fan of ARC. During my AM/SM runs I did successfully use Mode One seduction on women and this has been among the best sexual adventures that I had with women for a long time. Those successes made me a true mode one believer.

That being said, I have realized that I'm far from being free from the concerns of what others will be thinking about my desires. For those 3 successes where the all conditions were perfect for me for being mode one, there must have been hundreds of situations where I have seen women of my type where I didn't pull the trigger for any BS reason that my subconscious was providing me to not do it.

It will be very interesting to see what happens with that during the OF run...

Update: I'm back from the grocery... It is funny, I have the slight impression to have gain a small but noticeable social freedom... I spotted more attractive women than usual but I didn't talk to any of them... Cannot have unreasonable expectations right on day 1 but still... I felt a noticeable difference...

[lano1106]

Cycle 1, day 2:

On my way back home after the trip with friends over. It didn't take 2 minutes before I did receive an epic and undeserved shitshow. I have been greeted with intense anger.

I felt unaffected and she kept attacking me verbally with an intensity that did scared away the kids that went hiding in their bedroom.

I cant help but think about what the OF DRS role might be in this experience. My expectation was that it would stop the negativity sender her attacks. Instead, I have the feeling that it did fuel the bad behavior.

If the shield is supposed to hurt the sender, it must have been painful because the attacks were vicious... That is the type of experience that made me totally shutdown from executing DMSI the first time that it started to work. Except this time, the accusation was groundless and I had nothing be ashame of that I should apologize for.

The funny thing is that I went through this bad experience by being 100% honest about the meeting with friends. I told her exactly with who I was and where. It would have been so easy to omit some details to avoid the drama but it is a policy of mine to be 100% honest. Triggering this type of drama could have been a fear in the past. I didn't expect that being honest would trigger a drama of that magnitude, but I didn't hesitated at all before divulging everything. I think that I would have done the same before OF, but maybe with some hesitation and less confidence due to the fear of the possible consequences. I was just fearless about that shit before giving out the truth.

I must admit that she has been confrontational for few days. She did make a scene because I did finish the milk cartoon and I didn't mention this fact to her. She was furious out of proportion over something that feel like not such a big deal...

[K-Train]

#1) One of the reasons why its so easy to remain cool and calm on OF 5.75G is that it chips away at the fears that cause men to care more about others than they do themselves. It also does a good job balancing this out so that this fearlessness is expressed (mostly) in a positive manner.

#2) @Have at ye or Shannon could probably explain this better but sometimes the DRS actually causes people to attack you MORE if they have an emotional/irrational thinking style. In other words, she/they believe that they can freely attack you but its NOT ok for you to defend yourself and attack them back.

#3) I distinctly recall ARC in his book (and at least one other dating coach who's cool too) mention that for some guys the reason why they don't pursue success with women or sabotage themselves is due to fear of success which actually stems from fear of pissing off other guys by being more successful at getting with women. Some men act aggressive and super pissy/jealous when they see another dude getting more ass than them or being more popular in general with women. My own mother warned me of this when I was young and going out to social events.

#4) Good to see you're already getting some of the positive results from OF man! Keep it up!

[lano1106]

Cycle 1, day 3:

The manipulation went as far as a threat to find and apartment and leave me. That is a threat that would have scared me but not now. This is so manipulative and undeserved that I did hold my ground.

When she saw that she didn't have much leverage on me. She did remove the threat and started to get back to nice mode. I guess we could say that I kept my frame strong and she finally accepted it.

I cannot keep some grievance against that behavior. That was clearly immature and from insecurity but she is a good person. The manipulation attempt is clearly some feminine trait (and everyone is starting to become a little bit crazy with all the lockdown insanity going on all around the place...). A possible takeaway from all that is that not fearing threats and maintain a position that you feel is fair, is really empowering.

This morning, I felt some tension in the house and I was a bit bitter to have been treated like I did yesterday. It wasn't fear but I felt the tension physically in my shoulders.

Despite all that, it has been a good productive day. I did put aside my top priority refactoring task for few days for taking care of others small fires as they were happening on the server last week. It demanded some effort to get back into the state of mind where the picture of what needs to be done was clear in my mind. This kind of effort could afraid me in the past and instead of facing this fear which much of time is irrational, I would procrastinate in the past. This morning, I felt like things were different and pretty smooth. I didn't try or want to escape from the needed effort and it did turn out to be not be that big as reason would have probably predicted.

Wow. Who would have thought that it could have been possible. Fears were possibly slowing down my work in the past because of an irrational association between some required mental effort and, I guess, pain?

So good news, the trading started to happen again in decent volume. I will need to tweak again the strategy because it hasn't been very positive today. Out of my hat, I would say 2 positive trades out of 6.

On each of them, I still have discovered few glitches. Each trade, did distract me away from my main task but I'm not frustrated about the situation. It is a good sign that trades are happening and it is the only time where I can see the most important code in action. I guess one could say that making sure that trade execution is smooth is above anything else.

Bottom line, this a workable pace. I have a main task and it gets interrupted periodically for reviewing and monitoring the ongoing trading.

[lano1106]

Cycle 1, day 4:

Quiet day. I went to the gym and I met people. What I did notice was that I was feeling totally free socially and at peace.

Maybe I had some mild social anxiety. So small and so omnipresent that I did stop noticing it. But the contrast with the old normal mindset vs how I felt today was striking. This is a very cool feeling. Priceless. If this is OF giving this, this is great.

My work was productive too today. To sum it up, it was an happy day...

[lano1106]

Cycle 1, day 5:

We are still just the morning but my 6 loops have already been listening while I was sleeping and this made me make many vivid dreams.

The missed flight because hotel checkout was too long came back. The other one was that I was swimming in the ocean with very strong current and very tall waves. The current was leading me into canals in the middle of a residential neighborhood. Actually, it quite felt like a waterpark attraction ride.

plus some other things that may or may not be important or interesting to tell about. but to me, the important aspect is the quantity of dreaming that I clearly remember. I interpret that as a communication channel between my conscious and unconscious mind and it hasn't been open for a very long time...

[lano1106]

Cycle 1, day 5 Update:
The other dream or part of it that I didn't write about this morning was that I was travelling in streets and there was a lot of construction all over the place. You needed to walk around machinery and go through big holes in the street to cross the streets.

I didn't mention anything about it in previous post because back this morning, I couldn't figure out any logical meaning from it. I think that I might have find a possible interpretation. When I do software development, it is like virtual construction. It could have been a reference to that activity of mine.

I may have procrastinated a little bit this morning in my refactoring task. I think that the reason why is that up to until now, I could put in place new code to support the new architecture without breaking the existing code. Now, this morning I was ready break the existing code to put in place the new structure. There is always a way to revert any bad change but somehow there was a fear (irrational?) to move forward past this symbolic point.

Beside that, I went to the gym at the end if the afternoon. I still felt this amazing social freedom. The hot black girl on which I have a secret crush on was there. I think she like me too a lot... She managed to find her way in the spot right beside me during the first part of the workout. We did chat a bit... Started learn more from each other more than ever. We did nothing wrong, but i could see the bf looking in our direction as we were talking. I feel that he feels it too that his gf and I like each other.

Prior OF, this kind of situation would probably have made me a bit uncomfortable. It was amazing to realize that I wasn't feeling anything negative as we weren't doing anything bad. I'm sure she is not a social butterfly because she isn't talking to any other dudes beside me. If I were to guess, I would say that she might be testing the water to jump on the next branch...

Anyway, BF at the end of the class attempted a bad denigrating joke in an attempt to lower my status in the eyes of his gf.

1. I didn't feel anything.
2. The joke did return back on him as his gf and I were smirking at her bf because he says a lot of stupid things.

That must be DRS in action...
I really start to enjoy a lot what DRS is doing...

[lano1106]

Cycle 1, day 6:

I woke up not so long ago. the day has just started but my cycle 1 last 6 loops are done. Maybe if it becomes the new normal, I'll stop reporting it but again last night, I did a lot of dreams.

What was going on on this dream is far from being clear. It consist of moving around, by car, skateboard or by walking visiting various places, doing activities. Like playing soccer with the team of my daughters. Ordering food in a restaurant drive-in. Visiting a church.

In each of these activities, either the activity itself was unusual or something along with it was totally off. For instance, before entering the church, a doorman was asking me to inject myself some stuff in a syringe. When I was asking him what is this stuff, the answer was incomprehensible...

I'm dreaming weird stuff. Sometime, I can understand something out of them but not always. Last night dreams is an instance where it was too weird and chaotic to find out some meaning...

[lano1106]

Cycle 2, day 1:

Cycle 2 has started. The main goal of this entry is mostly to leave a mark in time about where I am in the cycle to not stumble and count a day twice or skip one day.

During the off days, I have not much to say about them except that the work has progressed very smoothly. I may have even started few surprising activities that I might have hesitated more before OF to do them. With OF, I talk about them in the past as they have already done. It is pretty fantastic.

[lano1106]

Cycle 2, day 2:

No dreams last night that I remember.

Major unblock in my trading project. I have solved 2 serious problems that I have been dragging with me since May.

The source of those problems were undocumented exchange behavior. My support request to get assistance on those issues have been under investigation for over a month. Essentially, they won't get back to me. I was pinging them to get a status update and with it, I provided new information with some questions. My understanding is getting clear of what the problem is and in one of the question that I sent them, there was the solution of my problem.

I took a full day to implement and this is really a workaround for something that they should specify and document... but oh well. I have my solution and it seems to work...

My enthusiasm is back. I'm solving more problems than I find new ones. My first execution engine refactoring is completed and is working. I'll certainly make other refactoring passes. I like how it improves the code clarity...

[lano1106]

Cycle 2, day 3:

Last night, I had to restart my computer. In the process of reconfiguring the 6 loops playlist, I forgot to verify the player loop button state. I did assume that its default state was to not loop but it turns out that it was looping. Therefore, I listened 12 loops instead of 6.

I had dreams last night but it is hard to figure out the meaning. As far as I can remember, I was running or skateboarding in parking lots around what seems to be the office where it was the last time that I was an employee instead of working for my own biz.

Yesterday, I did a move where social pressure was definitely against it. I felt zero hesitation. I made the move and felt great about it.

[lano1106]

Cycle 2, day 4:

Last night, I did dream about a medieval battle with hundreds of soldiers wanting to capture a castle. I was in the middle of it and it was pretty gruesome. There must not be a single body part that I haven't seen been sliced in that dream.

I think that it all started like a video game demo played from my living room except at some point, I was in the action and it felt pretty real. It wasn't a fun game.

What does that mean? repressed anger maybe...