alpha 3

[ffaux]

Dealing with the conflict between past experiences and how they made you feel, and what the script is telling you to do. The result is anger, fear and stress (tooth thing). Anger could be at the people who did XYZ, or the program telling you to do what it is trying to accomplish, given that it scares that part of you.

[ffaux]

Respect. What I'm hearing Alpha360 is that at first she respected you but then later she didn't. Your story is a cautionary tale for me because similar to your girl, the girl I'm sleeping with right now treats me like a king but treats her close friends a little bit shit. One thing I learned from watching Cesar Millan was the importance of respect to be accepted by your dog as the pack leader (alpha male). With your dog, respect comes from consistency in enforcing your rules and boundaries. I think this is similar to humans and I think humans (women and children in particular) will go to great length to challenge your rules and boundaries to test if you hold firm.

Another thing which may be related is your status relative to hers in her eyes. Historically I've always tried to make my woman feel good by trying to raise her status. Now I try to make my women feel good by raising my own status. She must truly be exceptional if she's managed to catch and hold on to a man of my status. My status is what gives her status. My status is a gift to her. What I didn't realise in the past is that her own status is relatively fixed in her own mind--when I try to raise her status the only thing I'm doing is diminishing my own status in her eyes.

All of this is courtesy of AM6 of course.

[DisneylandUSA]

Respect. What I'm hearing Alpha360 is that at first she respected you but then later she didn't. Your story is a cautionary tale for me because similar to your girl, the girl I'm sleeping with right now treats me like a king but treats her close friends a little bit shit. One thing I learned from watching Cesar Millan was the importance of respect to be accepted by your dog as the pack leader (alpha male). With your dog, respect comes from consistency in enforcing your rules and boundaries. I think this is similar to humans and I think humans (women and children in particular) will go to great length to challenge your rules and boundaries to test if you hold firm.

Another thing which may be related is your status relative to hers in her eyes. Historically I've always tried to make my woman feel good by trying to raise her status. Now I try to make my women feel good by raising my own status. She must truly be exceptional if she's managed to catch and hold on to a man of my status. My status is what gives her status. My status is a gift to her. What I didn't realise in the past is that her own status is relatively fixed in her own mind--when I try to raise her status the only thing I'm doing is diminishing my own status in her eyes.

All of this is courtesy of AM6 of course.

Raising each other's status. Interesting point. For myself, I raised up other women's status; Most were Entrepreneurs or basically, 'big shots' in the Business World. I was so supportive, maybe to much. I always thought in hindsight, that men 'should' help and assist a woman; The false belief that women are helpless. So, it was basically, 'co-dependency.' How can a woman 'big shot' be helpless.

[ffaux]

Shannon can you please define the meanings of these words as you intend them?

• Self-worth
  
• Pride
  
• Humility
  

I'm trying to work out why my self-worth and self-confidence is so heavily tied to getting approval from other people (right now women in particular) and why AM6 isn't breaking that tie.

My definition and yours will differ. I primarily try to leave the definitions as close to your own definition as possible, while still making sure the effects are in the right direction,

That said, self worth is the value you place on yourself in comparison to yourself yesterday, and in cases of those who are not really understanding how things work yet, perceived value of others around you.

Pride is an umbrella term that I break down into parts: false ego and genuine pride. False ego is responsible for arrogance, egotism, baseless pride (which is itself frequently responsible for things like demanding respect that has not been earned, believe that one [gender, race, skin color, nationality, etc.] is better than the others - which by the way is differentiated from the actions, choices and results thereof of each) and frequently these are based on a deep sense of low self worth and insecurity about being good enough, especially as an individual.

Genuine pride is the pride one experiences as a result of having achieved a goal or successfully maintaining some standard. This pride does not need to make itself known obviously and overtly, as false pride does, because it is internal and genuine. It usually manifests as a sense of increased self worth and better body posture and self confidence.

For instance, let's take an Amish person who makes butter for a living. They may have a simple and humble job, but if they always do the best job possible at what they do and only use the highest quality milk, the result is genuinely better butter than is sold elsewhere. (I can personally attest to this.) And knowing that they are doing an exceptional job and providing the best of what they do makes for feelings of accomplishment. This could go either way, if they had a propensity for false ego that had not yet been overcome, but in the case of someone who was humble and understood the difference between true and false pride, they would express their pride through self confidence and an increased evaluation of their perceived self worth.

Let us not forget that self worth does not actually tie in to the worth of others; to try to do so is the path to false pride. My personal value is entirely independent of that of others, because it is not my place to decide what someone else's value is. I may note that we are at different places in terms of self valuation and validation, but that's a matter of growth: we all have the potential for achieving growth, and ultimately, similar levels of growth - just in different directions, and of course one must take into account factors that may last longer than one human lifetime and get into Rule 4 territory.

Humility comes in two forms also. There is what I call default humility and enlightened humility.

Default humility is based in a lack of self worth, self confidence, and the belief that most, if not all, others are better/stronger/more advanced/more capable/more worthy than the individual. Default humility is usually based in just as much judgemental error on the individual's part as false pride.

Enlightened humility is an understanding that there is value in the inverse of (false) pride. Since false pride is based in insecurity, and results in self blindness and requires others (how can one be "better than", for example, if there is nobody else to compare the self to?), enlightened humility would be the understanding that regardless of how good the individual is, that all individuals have value, because there is understanding that each individual is not their current state of accomplishment, but their potential instead; and individual potential, in the grand scheme of things, is relatively equal.

Furthermore, enlightened humility is the understanding that false pride leads to true blindness, which is the willful refusal to see and deal with things that are undesired or uncomfortable, instead of seeing things as they really are, dealing with them and growing in the process.

Enlightened humility does not base its self worth on others, their achievements, their actions, their owned property, etc. and therefore does not need false pride to sustain or defend the self. It is also, to some degree, enlightened as to the condition of the whole of humanity, instead of the self, or the members of any one group. All humans bleed red. All humans need food. All humans need to stay warm. All humans feel pain, mentally, emotionally, physically. All humans have potential for being hurt. And all humans have potential for greatness in some way. So a person with enlightened humility understands that they are a part of a greater whole, and that the greater whole has intrinsically more overall value than the individual. "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few", to quote Mr. Spock.

An enlightened humble also understands that no matter how good they are at doing or being something (or how bad, for that matter), there is always at least the potential for someone else to be better than they are (with reference to how good they are) or worse than they are (with reference to how bad they are). They don't need to be the best because they are inwardly insecure; if they make themselves the best, they do so because that is their individual goal, and it is against themselves yesterday whom they compare themselves to. Since there is only inward comparison, instead of outward, they have no need to be better than anyone else, and therefore, voila... excellence and achievement with humility. Master Ip Man was an great example of this.

Hope this helps.

[ffaux]

I have been dealing with the hurt of losing the first girl I've had feelings for in years. Shit like this used to destroy me—it would take me years to recover. I had closed my heart off completely to protect myself and then this girl showed up and pried it right open. I cried and I cried when she made me face the pain that I had been running from all this time but it was the best thing that's happened to me in years. I have never felt so authentic as I do now being myself and not trying to hide that I have feelings. I have no doubt that she was a manifestation of AM6 or Stress Relief. But now she's leaving and I'm hurting anew.

Shannon, I can't be grateful enough to you for the help AM6 has provided me in dealing with this pain and hurt. This is where and why this journey started for me 10 years ago when my heart was broken. The pain and hurt was unbearable and at the time my life and I was in ruins. I don't think I can quite express in words just what a change I see in myself. It still hurts but I have never dealt with the pain and hurt so well, so quickly and so maturely. From the bottom of my heart I thank you. This is why I'm here, this is why I'm listening to AM6. Thank you for helping me live a normal life.

[ffaux]

Pride has been holding me back in life. I've been too proud to admit to my own insecurities. I've been using pride to compensate for and mask my insecurity. I've been too proud to make myself vulnerable. I've been too proud to face rejection. I've been too proud to listen. I've been too proud to follow.

I think this is where the majority of my resistance comes from. I've been too proud to be told what to do and too proud to admit to my flaws. I'm only now starting to understand how low my sense of self-worth has been my whole life.

I hypothesise that my greatest resistance to AM6 so far has been a resistance towards the ego balancer which I understand is telling me to humbly release my false pride and consider myself honestly as I actually am. Last night I felt the tension of pride in myself and decided to let it go to a torrent of relief as it released.

Update:
This almost deserves its own post. I just discovered relationship-contingent self-esteem. This describes me and the past 3 girls I've formed some kind of relationship with. This explains why it has been so crushing for me to lose a girl I've had feelings for. To think all this time this whole journey has been about my low self-esteem...

[ffaux]

He is (or maybe was) in a time of transition from one point to another because of the healing modules in DMSI etc. That's why he was changing his point of view so much. … Not everyone deals with their experiences the same way. My issue was that he was making statements that shifted as frequently as from day to day (toward the end) and made them as statements of fact, when they were expressions of his confusion based on his inner changes. When you make a massive change, there is going to be a period of re-calibration and confusion.

But that just means he's changing and healing and growing. We can't attack him for that. You guys remember the experience of doing AM for the first time, how confusing it was and how sometimes you felt lost until you figured out the new way of doing things.

[ffaux]

Why does a man become an alpha in the first place?

If it is for the recognition of his fellow man, then he is not truly an alpha, because he needs the approval of others to believe he is "good enough".

If it is for pussy, then he is not truly alpha, because he is a slave to his dick, her whim or both.

But, if he is a master of himself first and foremost, and for himself, then he is truly alpha. And this type of alpha is less obvious because of the following things:

1. "Type 1 Alphas" are all screaming as loud as they can to get her attention and prove how "alpha" they are.
2. PUAs will be in her face and down her pants every chance they get.
3. Most women are just about clueless as to what an alpha really is, because they have never seen one.
4. Most women are too distracted by the guys who are constantly throwing their dicks in their faces, and trying to fend them off. (Or **** them down, depending on the age and self respect level of the woman.)

But... just as there are a few exceptional men, there are a few exceptional women, and they are the ones worth having and worth keeping. These women will understand what really matters and what a man's value really is (and their own).

When you find such a woman, she will understand your value regardless of what you do to display it or prove it. She will choose to get to know you, and understand you, and come to see you for what and who you actually are - and when she sees what you actually are as an ascendant alpha, she will do anything and everything within her power to be and remain worthy of you.

The higher you go on the alpha scale, the less you will compete, and the more females you will have access to regardless, simply by virtue of what and who you are.

But that's because you're a genuine alpha, not doing it just for pussy or for someone else's approval. You are constantly making yourself the best man you are capable of being, and even extending the boundaries of what that means, and that is what makes you irresistible. But as an ascendant alpha... it will not be a big deal for you.

If you can't see past pussy and needing for the approval of others, you'll never be an alpha. That is what makes alpha so attractive to women: alphas, true alphas, don't give a shit!

[ffaux]

Swisston, you have a tendency to be stubborn, don't you. And if you look back on your life, you probably have a tendency to being stubborn in response to what you perceived as being told what to do. And I'm guessing a lot of it could be chalked up to resisting for the sake of resistance, too. How accurate would that be? Because that's the instinctual response of your personality type. Resisting just to resist as a way of having control. Even when it's self destructive or expensive in some other way.

The more enlightened version of that is a realization that instinctual resistance for the sake of resistance is [useful] if it gains you control, but is self destructive or prevents you from accomplishing your own goals.

And you understand that you have control, because you can resist the program, right? Which means that by executing it, you are doing so by choice, right? Which means you still are in control... right?

I started consciously letting go of wanting control and submitting myself to the program which allowed it to work.

[ffaux]

you have internalized beliefs that conflict with some of the script and those conflicts are showing to others because you refuse to let go of them and allow the program to fully actualize. That's not the fault of AM6.

...

The AM process isn't about getting pussy. It;s about growing. So when you're running AM, put down the pussy magnet and start working on becoming the man who women naturally want. ...you prioritize getting pussy over the goal (self improvement and strengthening) of a program that is trying to take you away from that goal (focusing on pussy all the time), and you resist it. Which strongly suggests that you prioritize pussy so high because it has become your self identity and that in itself suggests that your focus and prioritization is based in extreme fear of not being good enough...

[ffaux]

If you are who you are and make no apologies for yourself, you will be taken seriously. But if you approach the topic cautiously and act like you’re trying to see if she’s OK with your views, you’ll be seen as weak and insecure.

I’ve found that most women will accept you as you are. But if you try to act like someone that you’re not and you’re found out, you will be treated with disrespect and ex-communicated.

[ffaux]

How do you get a woman to value and respect you.

Well... the first thing you have to remember is that each woman is a unique and special snowflake, and no two are exactly alike. That means that no matter what you do, you will never get all of them to respect or value you. Just not gonna happen.

That said... you now have those females who are suitable to consider an those who are not. If we disregard those who are not, then those who are will come to respect and value you based on their particular level of awareness, and what they believe and have been taught is valuable and important in a man. There is also her genetic code to consider, which has in it hard wired certain things that she will nearly always value - but still not always.

The things women value in men genetically are twofold: That he is either a leader (Alpha) or a provider (Beta). Both types have their uses to a woman, and both types will be appreciated, but in very different ways and for very different reasons. Alphas get respect and admiration, and usually get red carpet treatment when it comes to sexual access, but they're not going to let her control them. This is ironically why she values them so much, and what drives her the most crazy about them.

Betas do not get respect, but they are still valued because they can be used for nesting and providence - Betas will trade food and shelter for sex.

Beyond her genes, a woman values and respects a man who embodies those things she has been taught should be responded to with those things. If she has been taught that "a good man always treats a lady like a lady", she will value that from a man, and consciously at least, may also respect him for it. If she has been taught that "a good man always takes care of his female", then she will (probably) respect men who take care of their females in the ways she was taught that they do. Since each woman is different, this will differ from woman to woman. It is easy to know what a woman values by her religious beliefs, political beliefs, etc.

All women everywhere value above everything else the one thing that they are always seeking. That thing is...

SECURITY.

And if you can provide her with the security she is seeking, in the way she is seeking it... she may value and possibly respect you. This, however, is likely to require that you constantly have that security being threatened, because otherwise human nature says she will become lazy and complacent and believe she is entitled to it. At that point, you lose value and respect.

So simply put, women will usually value what and who they cannot or do not have and respect who they cannot control.

To be valued and respected by women:

1. Never allow any woman to "own" you. If there must be ownership, then he owns her, and not the other way around. If not, then they can potentially be equals in this regard - but that almost never works because she will subconsciously and genetically always be giving him shit tests, which are subtle attempts to own and control him. The moment she does, all sexual attraction is gone and respect and value drops to somewhere around absolute zero.

2. Never (outside of the required by law aspect, such as for a female judge, etc.) allow any woman to control you. Same deal.

[ffaux]

AM6 is ALL about self development, internal development, self mastery. Women, sex, pussy is a distraction. It's designed to get you to focus internally, not on getting attention and not on getting sex. You're only putting that stuff on pause while you develop yourself. If you're worried about getting attention, and seeking validation from others... you either need to use AM6 more (perhaps Stage 7), or go do something else when you're done with this run, because those are NOT alpha behaviors. Alpha doesn't need to be the center of attention. Alpha doesn't need validation from others. And alpha isn't desperate for sex.

[Life]

Very relevant quote. What weighs more a man who does what he wants when he wants or one that self developes? It's obvious the one that has higher value but there's one that also has an attractive lifestyle. I think Shannon is referring to a type of person who is more extreme with the validation seeking than was meant to perceive. The AM program focuses on self development which shows in many areas of life