02-06-2020, 08:28 AM
Tour almost over. I was feeling kinda down throughout most of it, but that was mostly due to the "moron squad" being present in near-full force, lol; I'm basing this on the fact that once I DRSed enough, that started going away.
I'm also noticing that some parts of my subC are trying to work overtime, especially right after the loops in the morning, on trying to make sense out of that entire SLA debacle. Trouble is, it makes no sense, so I doubt there's much to be found there, lol. It's also probably a cover-up for something way more deep-seated which also makes no sense (but from what I've gathered from creepy uncle Lacan and daddy Freud's "primal process" thingy, the entire trouble with trauma is that it makes no sense, technically. Long story
).
Also noticing that on some level, my subC is primed to "wait for the other shoe to drop" whenever something good happens. Like whenever I get excited by anything, some part of me is *expecting* it to go south at some point, and then it usually does. Gotta get rid of that, I guess!
I'm also noticing that some parts of my subC are trying to work overtime, especially right after the loops in the morning, on trying to make sense out of that entire SLA debacle. Trouble is, it makes no sense, so I doubt there's much to be found there, lol. It's also probably a cover-up for something way more deep-seated which also makes no sense (but from what I've gathered from creepy uncle Lacan and daddy Freud's "primal process" thingy, the entire trouble with trauma is that it makes no sense, technically. Long story
).Also noticing that on some level, my subC is primed to "wait for the other shoe to drop" whenever something good happens. Like whenever I get excited by anything, some part of me is *expecting* it to go south at some point, and then it usually does. Gotta get rid of that, I guess!
"A man who is doing his True Will has the inertia of the Universe to assist him." - A. Crowley
