03-17-2024, 07:45 AM
Day 35,
I find myself not in a terrible rush to push strongly on my goals. I phone these things in, then I'm happy to move things along for the day as I look at the next thing. Sometimes, I find myself losing time watching videos.
A few years ago, I was on a mad hunt for my goals. In 2020, I wrote a 500-600 page book, with hundreds of references, in about 9 months. I also kept up a running routine, guitar practice and video posting, and a full-time job at the time.
Now, I keep up some guitar practice. I do my martial arts. I do my exercise. I take notes for my books. I also code when the mood strikes. But it's not the same as it used to be.
To be fair, my mind used to always be in a sense of urgency; as if it were screaming: "If I don't get my goals done by the end of the year, I will actually EXPLODE!"
I knew that this statement was not true, but I liked how it made me get up and go. Get out of bed after 6 hours of sleep and get to the gym before 6 AM sort of drive.
I've lost that touch, and I've certainly lost that touch since about July of last year.
Maybe it was my insecurities doing all of the pushing and driving forward.
Maybe it's me realizing that all of this pushing and driving forward does not bring me closer to the Promised Land.
Or now, I'm fueled by what's left over?
I find myself not in a terrible rush to push strongly on my goals. I phone these things in, then I'm happy to move things along for the day as I look at the next thing. Sometimes, I find myself losing time watching videos.
A few years ago, I was on a mad hunt for my goals. In 2020, I wrote a 500-600 page book, with hundreds of references, in about 9 months. I also kept up a running routine, guitar practice and video posting, and a full-time job at the time.
Now, I keep up some guitar practice. I do my martial arts. I do my exercise. I take notes for my books. I also code when the mood strikes. But it's not the same as it used to be.
To be fair, my mind used to always be in a sense of urgency; as if it were screaming: "If I don't get my goals done by the end of the year, I will actually EXPLODE!"
I knew that this statement was not true, but I liked how it made me get up and go. Get out of bed after 6 hours of sleep and get to the gym before 6 AM sort of drive.
I've lost that touch, and I've certainly lost that touch since about July of last year.
Maybe it was my insecurities doing all of the pushing and driving forward.
Maybe it's me realizing that all of this pushing and driving forward does not bring me closer to the Promised Land.
Or now, I'm fueled by what's left over?
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal