USLM3- The Journey to Success

[mat422]

Also I'm getting this feeling of just wanting to let go and be. I can't tell if that's hindering me or allowing me to grow. I'm leaning more towards hindering me. It's like a part of me wants to go back. Basically the equivalent of someone following a super restrictive diet, being offered a piece of cake, then the diet completely failing. If I give my subconscious an inch, it takes a mile. It wants to go back to comfort. Warm cozy, stagnant comfort. I'm doing everything in my power not to fall back into these patterns, but it's exhausting.

The thing that really gets me is I can clearly see how irrational it all is, but that doesn't lessen the emotional impact. I'm much better off now though, I no longer play a victim to it and use my subconscious resistance as a scapegoat. However it is tiring, when I just want to move forward and another part of me is kicking and screaming for it not to happen.

Lately I've been wanting to find a community for other artists or music producers around me. It gets lonely sometimes not being around anyone that really gets it. Or at the very least finding people who understand the struggles of being an artist at times. The constant desire to improve, the need to create, balancing work and music, etc. Just stuff other people don't have to think about a lot of the time.