01-17-2019, 06:38 PM
Almost there. Despite things falling apart around me I held it together. It's been rough, but I made it through. Went to work hungover today, had too much to drink last night. What a painful experience.
Anyway after vomiting at 4 in the morning from a combination of alcohol and fear, a lot of thoughts ran through my head. Like telling myself to say fuck it to anyone who demands anything of me and to always put myself first. All this stressful energy from people at this market show feeling like things have to sell, have to turn a profit, etc. That's not my reality, I don't have to worry about that, I don't have to let people drag me into their chaos. I mean look what I did? Drank because I let people get into my head too much and sought an unhealthy coping mechanism for that stress.
In life you have to deal with shit sometimes. I spent a large portion of my life avoiding stuff vs just choosing not to let it influence me. I'd rather know I can make it through tough stuff vs attempting to be overly cautious and avoid everything out of fear. Stuff can get out of control, but my reaction is the one thing I can control.
Having said that I'm pretty burnt from all this. Can't wait to get back home. I've also been away from my music. I've pretty much been working 9 days straight with two more to go.
Anyway after vomiting at 4 in the morning from a combination of alcohol and fear, a lot of thoughts ran through my head. Like telling myself to say fuck it to anyone who demands anything of me and to always put myself first. All this stressful energy from people at this market show feeling like things have to sell, have to turn a profit, etc. That's not my reality, I don't have to worry about that, I don't have to let people drag me into their chaos. I mean look what I did? Drank because I let people get into my head too much and sought an unhealthy coping mechanism for that stress.
In life you have to deal with shit sometimes. I spent a large portion of my life avoiding stuff vs just choosing not to let it influence me. I'd rather know I can make it through tough stuff vs attempting to be overly cautious and avoid everything out of fear. Stuff can get out of control, but my reaction is the one thing I can control.
Having said that I'm pretty burnt from all this. Can't wait to get back home. I've also been away from my music. I've pretty much been working 9 days straight with two more to go.
INFP
