USLM3- The Journey to Success

[mat422]

You know, fear has ruined a lot for me. And nowadays I feel like I'm genuinely afraid to take on more difficult stuff because I've screwed up so badly in the past. Prior to writing this post I had a strong overwhelming feeling of "I can't do this". I started down the route of thinking all the stuff I still needed to fix in my life and myself, and it still felt like a giant mountain. I was getting really down on myself. But I stopped and told myself I can continue to feel bad or I can direct that focus towards encouraging myself to keep going and make it through these obstacles. The important thing is I didn't do this in an angry or criticizing way, rather it came from a place of genuinely encouraging myself to live a better life. Not much of a revelation there, but a lot of my motivation was done through fear and shame in the past.

I know usually when the sub starts poking at really limiting stuff my mind goes and tries to convince me it isn't going to work. Or that all the work I've done on myself over the years with these subs was nothing. Maybe a 1% improvement. It's not true, I know that. But if my subconscious can convince me that I didn't really improve much, it starts being used as a scapegoat to not take responsibility for my current situation and to give up easier.

I'll be perfectly honest, I don't feel all that confident in my ability to move my life in a direction I'm happy with. It feels like a bit of a gamble actually. But maybe that's the way it is for everybody and that's why most people stay within their comfort zones.