USLM3- The Journey to Success

[mat422]

Are you making progress?

I feel like I am. But you know I've had a lot of moments in the past where I couldn't see it. I think I'm hitting a patch of turbulence. I'll have to reassess at the end of the week. Right now it still feels like I've got a foot in both worlds.

I'd say that the fear has definitely lessened towards my goal of making more music and improving on that. That's really my biggest goal right now, so I can get more enjoyment out of that in my life. Unfortunately, I still feel as if there are aspects of me that need work. Personal stuff as it pertains to relationships. I think that's more terrifying than the whole music thing so that's why the music goal is being realized more.

Do you think having those two as a goal is a bit much? Having better relationships with people has more to do with me and my constant struggle with that feeling of not being good enough. I still tend to self isolate a lot. That's why I was interested in LTU, I felt it would hit it from all angles and be more thorough. I'm not as bad as I once was, but it still lingers in my head. Like an old habit that won't die.

All in all, I started my journey with this sub thinking I knew what would make me happy and it's been changing. I'd say some of the initial goals were more fear based than genuine ones. For example, getting really good at music. Mostly a fear based goal so I could be good at something and feel better about myself by comparing. Vs now where my goal is complete freedom of expression and enjoyment from creating music that's independent of my own self worth.