USLM3- The Journey to Success

[mat422]

Gonna get this down while the insight is fresh in my head. On my way home I felt myself running through 3 states. The first state is where I try to detach from the instructions of the sub because I'm afraid. The second state is me convincing myself I am executing, but really I'm just trying to find a loophole out of truly following through. It's basically me attempting to control too much, doing it my own way, not trusting, etc. This one is trickier because there's a tendency to believe that I'm fighting to improve, when really I'm fighting myself from fully embracing the instructions. I'm trying to find the "safe" route, but the only safe route is to just stop moving forward and we already know that's not in the plan. Then the third state is one where I let go. It's hard to describe the sensation but I'll try. You know when you try to suppress a thought or feeling? That sort of inner tensioin as your mind resists whats there in the background. Well it's like that, except when I do let go I'm not flooded with a negative emotion or thought loop. It's more of an uplifting feeling and a feeling of positivity.

Whatever the sub is trying to accomplish is breaking through and flooding my body. And it's like I feel myself aligning onto a successful path on an energetic sort of level. Not trying to convince myself that I'm going to be successful, but more so allowing the possibility of it and embracing that. More like toggling a swtich or something vs fighting to change.

Two day break starts tonight. Maybe deep rest will integrate these changes more and hit on a deeper level when I wake up tomorrow.