11-10-2018, 12:07 PM
Cleaned my place today, well most of it. Didn't really tackle my room. I just hit the places that needed it the most. I've always been terrible with cleaning. But this time I broke it down into zones, wrote down a list of what needed to get done, and checked it off as I went along. I've never really done that before, but when I did do that it felt like there was less chaos going on up in my head. For whatever reason my brain likes exploring infinite things. So when I think "I gotta clean", my brain is like "Ceiling, tiles, floors, what about inside cabinets, what about behind the fridge, what about inside the fridge, what's the best cleaning product to use, how long is this gonna take, what should I prioritize first????!!!!. Basically my task of cleaning becomes impossible because I'm thinking of a 1000 different things vs focusing on a few to actually get done.
Obviously this isn't limited to cleaning and I'm going to work on breaking stuff down more when it comes to making music and learning stuff.
Now I'm just chilling out. About to watch a few videos on music theory. Part of me wants to work on my track I've been making. But it's that hamster wheel thing again. Am I really working on this to advance the art? Or am I just pushing to finish it so I can be done with it and to stop worrying about finishing it? You can see one has an intention behind it, the other seeks to run from a feeling incomplete work brings. This isn't an excuse to not work on the music, but it has to come from a place of intention and not fear. Come to think of it a book I was reading strongly emphasized fear as a destructive force for musical creativity. Fear of not making something "good", fear of not finishing, fear of not progressing as much as you would like, the list goes on. I've completed a few songs where I've rushed them for the sake of calling them "complete". Patience, calm, and discipline seems like something I need to cultivate more when it comes to creating. But again it probably goes back to fear, during the week I don't have much time to work on stuff so when the weekend hits I want to make sure I get far enough.
Obviously this isn't limited to cleaning and I'm going to work on breaking stuff down more when it comes to making music and learning stuff.
Now I'm just chilling out. About to watch a few videos on music theory. Part of me wants to work on my track I've been making. But it's that hamster wheel thing again. Am I really working on this to advance the art? Or am I just pushing to finish it so I can be done with it and to stop worrying about finishing it? You can see one has an intention behind it, the other seeks to run from a feeling incomplete work brings. This isn't an excuse to not work on the music, but it has to come from a place of intention and not fear. Come to think of it a book I was reading strongly emphasized fear as a destructive force for musical creativity. Fear of not making something "good", fear of not finishing, fear of not progressing as much as you would like, the list goes on. I've completed a few songs where I've rushed them for the sake of calling them "complete". Patience, calm, and discipline seems like something I need to cultivate more when it comes to creating. But again it probably goes back to fear, during the week I don't have much time to work on stuff so when the weekend hits I want to make sure I get far enough.
INFP
