USLM [Day 3]
Something is happening. It's kind of difficult to put it into words. Regarding fear stuff it's like I get some bodily symptoms of fear but I am mentally completely separated from it. Which allows me to inspect and map this thing (or plural: those things). I am able to see certain root causes and networks of cascading secondary fear seedlings which are only possible because of those roots. For some secondary seedlings I got sudden flashs of solutions, which I see as valid answers/solutions after thinking about them. Now I just need to implement them. No negative thoughts attached.
I am also getting flashbacks to possibly the only woman I had a genuine love relationship with. Genuine meaning without any kind of holding back anything, being able to open up completely and staying that way for extended periods of time. She showed up the past two nights, in dreams and undirected daydreams, always escorted by a deep and enveloping feeling of love. This dates back 15 years ago, so it is pretty clear that it is not about the actual person today but the symbol and abstraction that is imprinted in my psyche.
As strange as it is, this is more movement on my personal emotional radar than I experienced in at least 10 months.
Something is happening. It's kind of difficult to put it into words. Regarding fear stuff it's like I get some bodily symptoms of fear but I am mentally completely separated from it. Which allows me to inspect and map this thing (or plural: those things). I am able to see certain root causes and networks of cascading secondary fear seedlings which are only possible because of those roots. For some secondary seedlings I got sudden flashs of solutions, which I see as valid answers/solutions after thinking about them. Now I just need to implement them. No negative thoughts attached.
I am also getting flashbacks to possibly the only woman I had a genuine love relationship with. Genuine meaning without any kind of holding back anything, being able to open up completely and staying that way for extended periods of time. She showed up the past two nights, in dreams and undirected daydreams, always escorted by a deep and enveloping feeling of love. This dates back 15 years ago, so it is pretty clear that it is not about the actual person today but the symbol and abstraction that is imprinted in my psyche.
As strange as it is, this is more movement on my personal emotional radar than I experienced in at least 10 months.
_ - Third Stone From The Sun - _
