12-11-2018, 05:17 PM
I talked to my daughter for about 30 minutes tonight, not our norm. She asked me lots of questions, and I saw myself dodging one big issue.
She is losing weight (14 years old), and she asked me how much I weighed (around 145). Easy. She then asked me if I ate enough. I knew I really didn't, I told her, and she took it one step further. This is what's bothering me. She asked me why I don't eat more. I sat, chewing on my tongue.
I found one reason, then another, even questioning myself out loud if it was the truth. She asked again. Oooommmph... I couldn't/wouldn't be honest with her, telling her I don't care about myself much. Low self-image. Low self-esteem. All the bolts and fixings of it. Damn......
I did share I don't often eat much in the evening, but slid away from the reason. However, I told her I'd eat something before going to bed. I did. Cereal and eggs, and texted her this.
Regarding LTU--I imagined me being confident and healed enough to tell her in months soon. I didn't share tonight since I didn't want to "model" this poor image to her. (Did she pick up my fear of being honest?)
No rushing Shannon
She is losing weight (14 years old), and she asked me how much I weighed (around 145). Easy. She then asked me if I ate enough. I knew I really didn't, I told her, and she took it one step further. This is what's bothering me. She asked me why I don't eat more. I sat, chewing on my tongue.
I found one reason, then another, even questioning myself out loud if it was the truth. She asked again. Oooommmph... I couldn't/wouldn't be honest with her, telling her I don't care about myself much. Low self-image. Low self-esteem. All the bolts and fixings of it. Damn......
I did share I don't often eat much in the evening, but slid away from the reason. However, I told her I'd eat something before going to bed. I did. Cereal and eggs, and texted her this.
Regarding LTU--I imagined me being confident and healed enough to tell her in months soon. I didn't share tonight since I didn't want to "model" this poor image to her. (Did she pick up my fear of being honest?)
No rushing Shannon
I want to be FREE!
