I did something good for myself. I just texted my mom, telling her today was not a good day for me to come over. I apologized.
What really happened is doing laundry at her place is the only thing I need to do today. And it's after 1PM. I've avoided getting ready since 8AM. I was walking in my small place, and realized I had to shelve every good feeling to be around her, as sadness, hopelessness, self-pity, and fear dominate when I visit often. *** Truthfully, I avoid my truth when around her, and I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT!. I've lied to myself for years, never knowing why, and it was me surviving her since she avoids truth herself.
I am responsible now. I have no intention of caretaking another capable adult today! Booyah!
What really happened is doing laundry at her place is the only thing I need to do today. And it's after 1PM. I've avoided getting ready since 8AM. I was walking in my small place, and realized I had to shelve every good feeling to be around her, as sadness, hopelessness, self-pity, and fear dominate when I visit often. *** Truthfully, I avoid my truth when around her, and I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT!. I've lied to myself for years, never knowing why, and it was me surviving her since she avoids truth herself.
I am responsible now. I have no intention of caretaking another capable adult today! Booyah!
I want to be FREE!
