UMS. Let’s get at it

[Paul1131]

If your wife's personality is the type I think it is by the sounds of it, that personality type is very instinctual in their thinking and not necessarily very good at self awareness.

Sometimes she seems to be like what you described, and sometimes she’s in her head and micro analyzing every little detail and nuance of everything she sees thinks and does.  That often leads her to be as critical of herself as she was of me.  It was one or the other, and flipped randomly.  Lately she seems to be finding some middle ground.