UMS Journal THolt

[THolt]

So I went to a food truck festival in my town. I had a bad time because my social anxiety was bad. Came away feeling lonely. I was in a crowd of people yet felt isolated. Very frustrating. Feel like I am still stuck in the same cycle of social anxiety, awkwardness, and lack of results. I want to run the new USLM when it comes out and chose making friends as my goal.
At the same time, I feel like some money related blocks are dissolving. Interesting results thus far on the money side. I am noticing a mild celebrity effect.

[THolt]

So I received a monthly yesterday and it was way lower than usual. I was very pleased. Things seem to be looking up financially even if my social life stinks. I’m not worried about my finances at all.

[THolt]

So I went ahead and applied for new jobs. I am qualified for the jobs so hopefully I will get an interview.

One thing I have noticed is that my anxiety has really really ramped up the past couple weeks. Seems like every little thing is giving me anxiety.
I have OCD so mix that with anxiety and it’s horrible.

I hope that whatever Shannon is working on will enable me to get past this horrible anxiety.

[Shannon]

What's your usage pattern?

[THolt]

What's your usage pattern?

To be honest I haven’t listened in about a week. 

I wonder if I need to carpet bomb loops so that I can push through this.

[Shannon]

That really only tells me that "you haven't listened for about a week". Carpet bombing is only useful when you are resisting everything else but actually running it. Taking 7 days off tells me that that's too much for you, but I don't know how many loops you were doing, what your days on to days off was, etc. Please provide that and I will guide you with some suggestions as to what you will most likely benefit from.

[THolt]

That really only tells me that "you haven't listened for about a week".  Carpet bombing is only useful when you are resisting everything else but actually running it.  Taking 7 days off tells me that that's too much for you, but I don't know how many loops you were doing, what your days on to days off was, etc.  Please provide that and I will guide you with some suggestions as to what you will most likely benefit from.

So I was running the program one day a week and doing about 6-7 loops overnight on speaker

[Shannon]

Okay. Try a stable number of loops (6, 7, 8, pick one) and try running that with 4 days of bloom instead of 7. Whenever you start noticing any signs of resistance, run them again, even if the days off is not 4 yet.

[THolt]

So I ran UMS last night and slept really good. Almost too good.
Noticed my anxiety levels are down today compared to last week.
I think 4 days of bloom is the optimal number of days for me. Maybe sooner if resistance acts up again.

[THolt]

I have noticed this week I have more self disciplined with money. Like I am not going out for lunch and spending money UMS necessarily. I am focused on saving money and paying down some stuff.
The naturalizer works well with this program because I had to stop and observe my behaviors over the past few days.

Anxiety has not faded away but has subsided considerably. I feel like I am trying to get past some mental blocks regarding wealth.

[THolt]

Experiencing some resistance and anxiety today. Will probably run UMS tonight. The last few days were pretty good.
I feel like some fears regarding money are disappearing. At the same time I am experiencing some jealously of other people who are doing better financially than me. Trying to get over that issue.

It will be interesting to see how UMS 2 deals with these issues although I will likely run USLM 4.2 when it comes out.

[THolt]

I listened to my loops last night and today I feel much better today emotionally. Very little anxiety.
So today I applied for some part time jobs today. I feel a renewed interest in making extra money. I am hoping that I will get some interviews.
Looking for other opportunities as well.

[THolt]

So I had a bit of unexpected twist today that might seem disappointing at first but will financially help me out.

So I had a vacation booked for next year I had to cancel today. It was a cruise. While I was disappointed, I will receive most of the money I paid towards to it. The amount will be around $300 dollars or so.
So that was a nice suprise.
Other than that, I haven't noticed much else. I have applied for some part time jobs that are seasonal. We will see If I get a call back

[THolt]

I am noticing that I am making smarter money choices. For instance i was planning on going out but then I was like do I really need to? I probably ended up saving myself $40 dollars.