Difficulty sleeping tonight and my mind's been wandering through a lot of shit. Come to the realization I genuinely haven't had the capacity for any love or real emotional bonding with any women since my ex of two years ago that I went through a bad breakup with. After a string of heartbreaks and unrequited loves, some of which became obsessions which would last for years, I allowed myself to fall in love with a girl and had my best and longest relationship yet with her. Could see a future together and I've have done anything for her. Alas it came to a messy end when she broke up with me and I cut contact with her a few short months after due to not getting over it.
Where I thought time would heal it hasn't and you just harden yourself emotionally and become more blocked off/in denial and out of touch with your own emotions after awhile. Truth be told I've been a pretty cold and detached individual since then, even more so than my natural personality type makes me already.
It swings both ways though as I'm sure she still feels something towards me as she still follows me on Insta whereas I don't follow her and she watches all my Instagram stories every single day.
Nonetheless this E3 module seems to be bringing this shit up to the surface again for catharsis. I had no idea previous heartbreaks were still affecting me to this day or could somehow be blocking my path to prosperity and attracting riches. I suppose in that sense we are realising that a holistic approach seems to be the best one for manifesting abundance. Feel pretty sensitive and and a teensy bit sad at the minute over all of this. Some of the first real human emotions I've had in a long while. Beyond thrill seeking/adrenaline I haven't really experienced much genuine inner joy in months, and I believe that true spiritual and pure happiness is a requirement for manifesting riches.
I have spent many years working through issues relating to confidence, social success and status, being attractive to women, motivation, the ability to be a functional and successful member of society, as well as anger/depression and mood swings and attained a good degree of mastery over these but never truly solved the deep-seated belief in my subconscious mind about being unworthy of true lasting love and commitment from a member of the opposite sex. If this sub can solve that issue and transmute that belief in the process of bringing me wealth, even better. Perhaps I'll one day find true love and not die alone after all. I have met many a lonely old man in some of the pubs I frequent and it's a sad sight.
Where I thought time would heal it hasn't and you just harden yourself emotionally and become more blocked off/in denial and out of touch with your own emotions after awhile. Truth be told I've been a pretty cold and detached individual since then, even more so than my natural personality type makes me already.
It swings both ways though as I'm sure she still feels something towards me as she still follows me on Insta whereas I don't follow her and she watches all my Instagram stories every single day.
Nonetheless this E3 module seems to be bringing this shit up to the surface again for catharsis. I had no idea previous heartbreaks were still affecting me to this day or could somehow be blocking my path to prosperity and attracting riches. I suppose in that sense we are realising that a holistic approach seems to be the best one for manifesting abundance. Feel pretty sensitive and and a teensy bit sad at the minute over all of this. Some of the first real human emotions I've had in a long while. Beyond thrill seeking/adrenaline I haven't really experienced much genuine inner joy in months, and I believe that true spiritual and pure happiness is a requirement for manifesting riches.
I have spent many years working through issues relating to confidence, social success and status, being attractive to women, motivation, the ability to be a functional and successful member of society, as well as anger/depression and mood swings and attained a good degree of mastery over these but never truly solved the deep-seated belief in my subconscious mind about being unworthy of true lasting love and commitment from a member of the opposite sex. If this sub can solve that issue and transmute that belief in the process of bringing me wealth, even better. Perhaps I'll one day find true love and not die alone after all. I have met many a lonely old man in some of the pubs I frequent and it's a sad sight.