UD 5.5 Run

[yoshilee]

So i bought UD today and preparing the upcoming run for at least 3 months.
Being in my last days of 1 month in ASC i will give things a break for a couple of days before starting the new one.

When being around the forum and shop, i always want to hit the AM6 but i decided to prepare a good and healthy base by UD first.

Hybrid is now for the first time on board; i guess i will start by using it in order to get some comparison to the us and masked tracks.

As there isn´t that much written on UD by now i will try to journal this thing a bit, but as i learned while doing ASC things are not always easy to recognize and/or to put in words (respect for the dudes around here, being able to write their journals to the point)
.
In addition, what i read that far, UD might come along in a subtle way, making the progress and work not always obvious to see immediately.

Anyway, i am looking forward for the results and how it will work on the messed up stuff.

I expect some tough periods in between as well, especially when it works on old scarfs so to say.


Let´s see... and wish me good luck and strength

[DavisMind91]

Good idea to clean the crud before adding on. Good luck, I’ll be following this journal as I plan to use UD sometime in the next couple years.

[yoshilee]

So i am into UD by now. Though my expectations and curiosity are going more for the mental/emotional cleanup, but physical is welcome for sure; maybe it will support another try of stop smoking

Actual i am in kind of a relaxed mood. My ASC run before confronted me with a lot of past shit, but made me face them - that brought up a lot of emotion and thoughts as well as active steps in live.

By now the rough sea seems to smoothen and thoughts are losing negativity. Sleep is kind of solid without interruptions.
There is also a good bunch of dream activity, but i need to start journaling them in order to remember after wakeup.

Anyway by now the main aspect i recognize is a general calm down.

[yoshilee]

Actual UD might do something, though i am not sure where things are going.

What i named a "calm down" somehow develop right now into something i could best describe as being isolated from my own emotions. Like they have been shut down in some way as well. Right now i run on rather low energy (not exhausted) feeling a bit like just doing daily routine without to much connection with what is going on around me. Also will and motivation for activities suffered in some way.
I bet you can call the mood somehow casual or indifferent.

My sleep is no more about 8-9 hours (which would suit well 6 loops) but went back to my usual pattern before using subs - which is something around 6 hours. So i have to adjust myself to that, instead of being awake 2 hours to early in the morning.
Actual i have not really any dream recall after awakening, which i don´t like - i wanted to journal them as well.

I switched back from Hybrid to US by yesterday - i can´t really name it but hybrid gave me somehow the impression of being aggressive.

Sometimes thoughts seem to stick to past life events (which i identified for having harmed me). Anyway, that popped up on ASC; not sure if there is some overlapping like ASC still running after finishing it.
But also possible UD is digging around


This all feels a bit like doing pioneering work as UD isn´t that big on the board yet. So exchange is welcome to me

[Benjamin]

Sounds familiar. I've probably been using it the same amount of time as you.

Especially this.

I could best describe as being isolated from my own emotions. Like they have been shut down in some way as well. Right now i run on rather low energy (not exhausted) feeling a bit like just doing daily routine without to much connection with what is going on around me. Also will and motivation for activities suffered in some way. I bet you can call the mood somehow casual or indifferent.

Definately feel weird and disconnected, also waking up anxious in the mornings.

[yoshilee]

Alright, at least that sounds to me that there is a certain scheme working. I would have been afraid to hear a totally different story that far Also i took in consideration that there probably will be hard periods as well.

Anyway, it´s way too early for judging; as Shannon wrote somewhere be patient and let the sub do what it is meant for.

Yesterday i missed the sub due to falling asleep at the sofa; when waking up in the middle of the night there was no sense in starting as there was not enough time left. But sleeping was solid again for the whole 8-9 hours.

[yoshilee]

Been quiet a couple of days here.... also due to the fact that i can not report great news yet.
The general mood/feeling of being disconnected to myself faded by time but is still present in a way.

Energy level went back a bit to normal, but still needs to go. Need for sleep did grow definitely by at least 2 hours. I still struggle in writing down my dreams. The activity there made a huge increase, but you can journal it fast enough when becoming awake

Anyway, plan is running it for this year.

[yoshilee]

So i have been absent a bit, due to a lot of work and new stuff.
Nevertheless i did run UD for 3 months, so let's see what i can tell about.

In my case the thing i clearly recognized is that a lot of mental bullshit vanished. Talking just about useless thinking, leaving me with more focus and more awareness.

Physically i had not a certain expectation... over time the whole body seems to becoming rather dry, also with much need for drinking. Unfortunately it did not affect my smoking behavior - but that was not a aim of mine, also not the task for that subliminal
Sweating seemed to have increased over time (i tend to it very fast and often, but that is rather due to some burried stress, as my doc could not name any physically malfunction)

Overall it was to me more energy draining then coming to an increase.


Meanwhile i started EPHRA 2 in order to prepare myself on AM6. Some emotional issues lost already their meaning, some core things actual remain (i was pointed to them in the very beginning already, when i tested the free ASC).
That is actual nagging the mind nearly all the time, but i realized i can overcome them with a true self esteem.

Well, the basic feeling is that i can't wait to earn my personal victories, improving myself and go for Alpha.
There were thoughts about stopping EPHRA - having just enough of healing and recovering, that kind of stuff - and move over immediately, but i will go through for the recommended 3 months.
Hoping to keep the discipline up and not switching over, but i believe AM6 will doing way better with me cleaning up the starting ground for progress.

[Shannon]

Is not smoking the direct, intentional ingestion of known toxins? Does that not directly contradict the goals of UD? And is this behavior not directly generated by toxic beliefs and emotional states? I think you would have done better with the smoking behavior being affected if you kept going.

[yoshilee]

Hi Shannon,

thanks for your feedback on that. I guess, as ASC pointed me to a lot of mental and emotional clutter, my focus went for working on that. In order to start a good ground for AM6 after i am through with EPHRA, which is running now.

Anyway, mentally i have a very good cleanup already, and the emotional leftovers, which ended up in just a several core thoughts starts to loose importance. So the anger/hate which they caused to rise up is fading more and more and it seems a feeling of acceptance is settling for now.
Everything calms down.

For now the feeling and need to build up a strong self esteem (better to say the whole AM6 package )is growing day by day.


PS: So to say i did not take smoking into account as a thing to work on. By toxic belief or emotional state you mean things that way, that by smoking you kind of go for a false feeling of security/support?

[Benjamin]

Smoking by itself is toxic, both to your body and mentally. Usually it's a coping mechanism for something else which is why Shannon says it's toxic.