Transcendental Sith Lord's UMSv2 Journal/ Few weeks of E5

[DarthXedonias]

There has been a major shift that has happened. Not just a shift but a whole paradigm shift to be correct. I am a completely different person from before. I thought the last one was basically it. No it was just he appetizer it would seem before the major shift in my whole world view happened. Its interesting because ever since I started UMSv2 I always had this feeling that there was going to be some world changing shift that was going to happen within a span of a year. Even in the months leading up to this I always had this feeling and thought in the back of my mind that there was going to be some life changing shift that was going to happen and that there was something going on in the background that was building up.

it has been about 2 days and honestly I wanted to wait to see if these results were what I thought they were. Part of it also was I didn't know what I was going to say here in order to explain how I felt and how I'm feeling now. Part of me even questioned if I should say anything to begin with as I felt anything I said would just not fully encapsulate who I am now as a person. Basically the to summarize what happened on my last use of the sub I felt myself just fully accept the instructions. I had this utterly determined feeling to just want to believe it beyond anything I have ever wanted in my life. I then felt within myself 2 different things. One thing which has been touched on by Shannon of feeling as thought it was affecting multiple "me's" across different times and spaces and then the final thing of I felt this moment or few seconds where there just wasn't any time or space. At this moment I knew the part of the subconscious that Shannon has talked about, the one that doesn't really perceive any time or space was being affected.

For some this will sound bogus or like hocus pocus. If so you are entitled to your opinion. As for me to have learned about these things then actually experience them has changed my whole paradigm and worldview. I fully accepted the instructions and as far as I'm concerned those instructions, beliefs are who I am. I feel no fear, guilt or shame anymore. Death is nothing to be fearful of. It is merely a mild inconvenience and even then I have come to think it is not an inconvenience at all. I don't know why but I feel as though this certain aspect of all life is needed in one way or another. I am not afraid to face it as I know it is not the end.

I am not afraid of who and what I am any longer. Of all the possibilities that exist within me. once all that fear was gone I see so many paths that I can choose so clearly now and so much choice that is afforded to me. I see now that fear, guilt and shame get in the way of free will and real choice. I feel nothing but inner peace with no conflict at this point. With no more inner conflict I feel free to choose any path that I want and the amount of paths I can choose are as many as branches protruding from the trunk of a tree which then spreads out with more leaves from there.

I have ran across one not so much problem but thought now. With so many choices unlocked for me which ones should I choose? I feel totally confidant in choosing any and getting the results at the end of any of them. It is interesting though that part of me wants to do DMSI for a while instead of focusing straight on more MLS or even UMSv2 even though I know without a doubt that my results will be exactly what they need to be now.

Another interesting things that have happened due to all this is (1) I realize I have no real enemies. The only enemies I have are not people but the things those people stand for and what they have allowed themselves to be controlled by. Therefore Hatred and anger against another is waste of my time and is just poisoning myself. I will not allow that to happen to me. (2) I have gained an amazing ability of empathy. Its like I can think on a possible choice and envision with clarity the possible affects on others of those choices. I can literally imagine as though it is real the total feelings others would feel from the impacts of my decisions. As though I can truly feel it as though I was them yet at the same time realize that is their emotions and not my own. It just gives me more things to consider now when making decisions though I don't think it will create hesitancy in me.

I did have one interesting thought that I remember from when i was younger. Despite everything horrible that has happened to me during the first half of my life I always had this feeling that when i got close to the half way point things would change. That all these horrible things can't keep on going on forever and that as long as I don't give up and keep searching for the truth everything would change. I think I found IML in May of 2014 and been around here ever since. Always trying to find ways to cure myself of my PTSD, Depression and to just in general live the life I want to live. To live some life of significance. Now the first few things I mentioned are gone and I can already see me living a life of significance due to clearing and healing everything that I needed to. Nothing is impossible for me any longer.

I do apologize if it seems I was all over the place but its hard to go over every different change. There has just been so many of them so far. Fear, shame, guilt, anxiety, etc are just all gone now and there is only this peace and tranquility left. I feel as though my mind is totally empty unless there is something to think about and I am basically always present unless I need to project my awareness of the affects of a potential decision. Along those lines I just don't feel emotional pain anymore. Its like a major part of my awareness understands the mechanism and the "why" of emotional pain and therefore since I understand it I feel no need to actually "feel" it anymore unless I am using that empathy to experience the pain another might have. I realize now that some of the things the great philosophers and spiritual leaders of the past were very, very true. I thought before that I was so knowledgeable and rational but the driver for all of it was fear based. I realize I was such a fool and that in the end I didn't really understand anything too completely because I was too blinded by fear, guilt, shame, hatred, and anger. I will give myself this though that at least I was working towards no longer being fool.

All I can say for you all is the journey might not always be comfortable but once you reach the destination it is fully worth it. You might even find when you get to this place that you have changed so much that what you might have wanted before you realize was insignificant in the grander scheme of things. You will realize that there is so much more you can do than you realized or could possibly imagine.