Transcendent Sith Lord's DMSI 3.3 D Journal

[DarthXedonias]

It sounds like you are making great progress! Congratulations. So one major source of fear and resistance has been dealt with, only to reveal another. That's not too surprising. That part of you that is afraid to go outside now, this is doubtless the last defense option it has. And sooner or later, you have to go outside. How quickly does FRM seem to be working on this current issue?

Hmm I'm not totally sure yet. There seems to be daily progress to a degree because I notice slight changes every time I wake up. Its seems like most of the work seems to be getting done while I'm asleep and I suppose when I am least resistant to the suggestions. I do think it might take a while though because I have noticed a recurring theme. Most of the time my mind doesn't even drift to going outside but when it does I notice right away my mind just goes blank and then usually my thought patterns move on to something else or one could say I get "distracted" by something else.

I should mention some other things I forgot to mention in the previous post that might interest you. As for the porn thing I still haven't watch any. There is still a part that every once in a while 'whispers" almost that it just wants to release and no matter how seductive or forceful it tries it like something just won't allow me to do it. Sometimes if it gets particularly bad (when its being forceful and almost frenzy like) I find myself taking a calm breath and saying, "I don't want control anymore" and kind of give myself permission to just allow the sub to do its thing. That seems to just help calm my mind down automatically.

Another thing which kind of perplexes me yet you might find interesting is that I remember there were actually 2 times my sleep got interrupted and both by the same thing. Basically I would be sleeping then I jolt awake as soon as I feel my body just start to heat to incredible levels. I then throw off the covers quickly and turn on the fan. I still remain warm to a degree but no where near as hot as my body originally got. I can only think that maybe for whatever reason something was getting worked on and the aura activated in some crazy, insane way. In no version that I have tried before have I ever gotten that hot and not to mention start sweating quite a bit.

I think that's about it for anything else I forgot to mention.