02-14-2018, 12:44 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-14-2018, 12:59 PM by DarthXedonias.)
Well, thought I would report in since there have been 3 things that have happened so far, 2 of which have never happened ever.
The first is something that is similar to something someone else reported months ago. I think they said something about being on 3.1 and driving one night. They looked to the side while they were driving down the street and they saw a woman completely naked on her front porch. I didn't quite have it that extreme but I was driving to go take my IT certification test and I looked to the side and this woman was bending over in a dress and I could pretty much see everything. I have never, ever had this happen to me before in my entire life.Maybe a foreshadowing of things to come? eh, I'm inclined to think so based on the other thing that happened.
The next thing to happen was that some guy came up to our apartment with a Chinese order. My mother thought I had ordered it and I thought she had. The guy was in a hurry to just get his tip and leave. Once we found out neither of us ordered it my mom went running after the guy to tell him. Basically, we could have gotten a free meal, granted it would have probably hurt the guys standing at his job. Main thing is though is this has never happened either. I don't know, 2 things that have never happened before in my life and they so happen to happen in the week leading up to 3.2. Too much of a coincidence in my opinion.
The third thing is in regard to the porn/masturbation issue. After that first time ever of not watching any porn though I think masturbation was still an issue I gave in like I said in another post. The weird thing was it felt like I just went binge watching during that time for some for the next few days after that. I can't fathom why I had that response. Though suddenly, about 2-3 days ago I started getting that urge not to watch or masturbate, then of course the masturbate thing comes up again, then its not long after that the urge to watch porn again comes up. Usually at that point it likes there are 2 voices in my head fighting over what to do. Gave in again and then it was like I binged watch again for some odd reason. I think I am starting to figure out what is going on there and if I'm right I think when I start actually running 3.2 it should be solved. I think its a connection between 3 things.
I think what is happening is my mind is making me feel very much not like being around people at the moment (being very avoidant of people, even though when I go out there is no anxiety or anything). So I end up staying home like all day unless I really, really need to go out for something. Since I'm home and there is only so much to do then the temptation to masturbate comes up. once I give into that its not too long (maybe a day or 2 based on last time) before the urge to watch porn comes up. Once I give into that its like I go on some porn watching binge. I think I've heard of people with bulimia having similar responses, where they stay away from eating food or eating too much.. then before you know it they give in and they start gorging on food. They get sick, throw up and the cycle starts over again. I think this will fix itself when 3.2 comes out because I remember when I was running 3.1 I would go out a lot more often and not be at home as often as I am now. This whole thing kind of reminds me of when Shannon commented on my dream regarding food. Its like a part of my subconscious is casting the illusion (of danger) that I really don't want to go outside and unmotivate me from doing so but when I am forced to go outside its like I notice that it was nothing but an illusion because I feel no anxiety around people or fear for the most part. I think this will hopefully solve itself when I'm actually running the program.
-Edit- Almost completely forgot to mention something. About 3-5 days ago I kept on getting this feeling in my head that felt like reality bending for some reason except it was much stronger. I've had this feeling on "slightly" over the last few weeks but this time it was something major and somewhat annoying. I was laying down in my bed and it didn't matter if I was trying to fall asleep or not, it felt like I would slowly being falling into something then it was like I got jerked back in reality for lack of a better term. I noticed whenever this would happen I would see a lot more clearer and I would feel there was something different about my surroundings. I could be just laying there, trying to fall asleep, or somewhat day dream (which is becoming rarer these days) and it would still happen. Felt very familiar to how reality bending felt on 3.1 except on 3.1 I would just stop what I was doing and noticed what was happening. This one felt more powerful in that it felt like I was getting jerked back or my body got impacted somewhat by something. Not sure what that was all about but thought I would mention it.
The first is something that is similar to something someone else reported months ago. I think they said something about being on 3.1 and driving one night. They looked to the side while they were driving down the street and they saw a woman completely naked on her front porch. I didn't quite have it that extreme but I was driving to go take my IT certification test and I looked to the side and this woman was bending over in a dress and I could pretty much see everything. I have never, ever had this happen to me before in my entire life.Maybe a foreshadowing of things to come? eh, I'm inclined to think so based on the other thing that happened.
The next thing to happen was that some guy came up to our apartment with a Chinese order. My mother thought I had ordered it and I thought she had. The guy was in a hurry to just get his tip and leave. Once we found out neither of us ordered it my mom went running after the guy to tell him. Basically, we could have gotten a free meal, granted it would have probably hurt the guys standing at his job. Main thing is though is this has never happened either. I don't know, 2 things that have never happened before in my life and they so happen to happen in the week leading up to 3.2. Too much of a coincidence in my opinion.
The third thing is in regard to the porn/masturbation issue. After that first time ever of not watching any porn though I think masturbation was still an issue I gave in like I said in another post. The weird thing was it felt like I just went binge watching during that time for some for the next few days after that. I can't fathom why I had that response. Though suddenly, about 2-3 days ago I started getting that urge not to watch or masturbate, then of course the masturbate thing comes up again, then its not long after that the urge to watch porn again comes up. Usually at that point it likes there are 2 voices in my head fighting over what to do. Gave in again and then it was like I binged watch again for some odd reason. I think I am starting to figure out what is going on there and if I'm right I think when I start actually running 3.2 it should be solved. I think its a connection between 3 things.
I think what is happening is my mind is making me feel very much not like being around people at the moment (being very avoidant of people, even though when I go out there is no anxiety or anything). So I end up staying home like all day unless I really, really need to go out for something. Since I'm home and there is only so much to do then the temptation to masturbate comes up. once I give into that its not too long (maybe a day or 2 based on last time) before the urge to watch porn comes up. Once I give into that its like I go on some porn watching binge. I think I've heard of people with bulimia having similar responses, where they stay away from eating food or eating too much.. then before you know it they give in and they start gorging on food. They get sick, throw up and the cycle starts over again. I think this will fix itself when 3.2 comes out because I remember when I was running 3.1 I would go out a lot more often and not be at home as often as I am now. This whole thing kind of reminds me of when Shannon commented on my dream regarding food. Its like a part of my subconscious is casting the illusion (of danger) that I really don't want to go outside and unmotivate me from doing so but when I am forced to go outside its like I notice that it was nothing but an illusion because I feel no anxiety around people or fear for the most part. I think this will hopefully solve itself when I'm actually running the program.
-Edit- Almost completely forgot to mention something. About 3-5 days ago I kept on getting this feeling in my head that felt like reality bending for some reason except it was much stronger. I've had this feeling on "slightly" over the last few weeks but this time it was something major and somewhat annoying. I was laying down in my bed and it didn't matter if I was trying to fall asleep or not, it felt like I would slowly being falling into something then it was like I got jerked back in reality for lack of a better term. I noticed whenever this would happen I would see a lot more clearer and I would feel there was something different about my surroundings. I could be just laying there, trying to fall asleep, or somewhat day dream (which is becoming rarer these days) and it would still happen. Felt very familiar to how reality bending felt on 3.1 except on 3.1 I would just stop what I was doing and noticed what was happening. This one felt more powerful in that it felt like I was getting jerked back or my body got impacted somewhat by something. Not sure what that was all about but thought I would mention it.
"I have no use of disciples. Let everyone be their own true follower" - Nietzsche
![[Image: 1604394-bigthumbnail.jpg]](https://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbseg/1604/1604394-bigthumbnail.jpg)
