Transcendent Sith Lord's DMSI 3.3 D Journal

[DarthXedonias]

Actually while thinking about it I remembered 2 very important things I forgot to mention that have actually been very profound. Both of them were actual very extreme paradigm shifts in the way I think about relationships and women's behavior in general:

Relationships: Interesting it feels like my views on relationships have changed. I feel like if I were to get in a 'relationship" ( I use that term loosely) I would't feel obligated to work on it if I seriously wasn't getting anything out of it or if my needs in the relationship (IE sex, etc) weren't getting met. I'm starting to think guys get especially needy because of fear that they are going to be alone for some reason. So they will work more on a relationship even though that relationship has not served their needs for a long time in fear that they won't be able to find another chick. Lately I've been reading/watching a lot of stuff on evolution and evolutionary psychology. Until a few weeks ago I hadn't really looked up on this subject at all and yet because of it my views on things have changed substantially. Some of the idea of the original social contract was the men brings security and resources and inexchange the women brings sexual access and the ability to have children. Obviously some of this has changed but I think about this and how people keep saying , "Well there's more important things than sex in a relationship". I've gotten to the point where its like I realize it is not a "need" but at the same time it doesn't mean that that desire for physical contact is not important. Who gets in a relationship with the idea of being emotionally intimate but not physically intimate at all? Pretty much no one and yet I have this feeling that men are suppose to keep of their side of the deal many times but its like they get little to nothing in return. It seems to me the guys who are most successful keep this in mind and don't mind letting a women go if all she is doing it taking in such a relationship but doing little to nothing in return. It feels like I have gone from pie in the sky Disney like in my thoughts on relationships, then kind of jaded and angry, to now having a more transactional idea to any relationship I might have. If I feel i'm not getting something of equal worth or higher out of the deal then I will leave the table honestly and go looking somewhere else.

Females in general: Along with all this study science over the last couple of weeks I feel like my views on women have changed as well. Before, like most people here I take it, as a child I got the normal indoctrination of women as harmless, beautiful creatures that can do no wrong. I then after all the years so how just wrong that idea is from personal experience and seeing things done to others. I think as I mentioned earlier in my journal this came with a bunch of anger and resentment as well when realizing this. I think though after the last few weeks with my reading I have just gotten to the conclusion it is what it is. Males have a dark side to themselves and female nature has a dark side as well. Sure, there are incentives and decentralizes push by the government that help these things along (in the bad way IE bias divorce courts, etc) but in the end it is just reality. This also doesn't means there aren't men and women who have self knowledge about their more primal motivations and with that self knowledge try to pursue self mastery. There are those people its just that they are very few because making that jump from no self knowledge, to self knowledge, then to self mastery actually requires responsibility and most people avoid that shit like the plague. With this new knowledge I think I have more healthy view of women in general.

Anyway, that was something important that's been going on that I thought I should share. Been a major change in thinking for me the past few weeks.