Throw Fear To The Curb! - StridingStrider's OF Journal

[StridingStrider]

Night #3 of Cycle #8

I've been dreaming of getting in fights with people recently. This reminds me of AM6. Various scenarios of people provoking me, where I just turn around and kick their ass. So I think that indicates that the fear of violence is being worked on. My day to day anxiety is also reducing, with some fluctuation.

[StridingStrider]

Night #4 of Cycle #8

Had a dream where I was walking up a dirt road, and up ahead behind a mound was a rooster.. who comes charging at me. So I run off back home.

At home, I'm outside as a new creature, an octopus comes into the garden. At first I don't know what to make of it but then I remember they're poisonous and my dogs are in danger if they get too close. I rush inside and tell my brother my concerns, and he comes out with a sledge hammer and splatters it.

[StridingStrider]

Night #6 of Cycle #8

A lots been happening. I had to take a psychometric test for my application to the navy, and I was feeling a bit anxious about it, as I have some deep seated trauma revolving around schooling when I was young, and not being competent when it comes to maths/mental arithmetic. I practiced online and didn't do too badly, first try getting about 50%, which later increased to 80% with some practice.

While I was outside the test centre (manned by uniformed military) I was feeling a bit anxious, but it all settled down once I got in and started going threw the motions. The test was similar to the online practice test, but timed and paper based. It felt a lot like being at school again, but I managed to stay focused and complete every single question, even if I had to guess. The guy leading it did a really great job of communicating the importance of not spending too much time on one question, but answering as many as you can before the time runs out. I took that all in and ended up passing it. I think without OF the nerves might of gotten to me.

Also, my driving is improving. My instructor said last week that I seemed like a different student being more aggressive with my speed then I was before. I still have an annoying habit of 'zoning out' when I feel pressured, but for what it's worth I can tell OF has helped me here as well.

As for day to day, I'm becoming more confident, talking to random people I meet even when they're across the road. I like what OF is "doing" to me. Tonight is the start of my two days off.

[StridingStrider]

2/2 Rest Day, Cycle 10

Got a couple itchy bumps on my left arm, throat feels infected and back pain.

I think I can explain the first two by some dodgy food I cooked up in the woods, but as for the back pain I'm not so sure. Unless its linked with the infection in some way. But could also be resistance.

I'm doing pretty well on OF. Did some stuff I generally avoid, like going to my local store for a few items instead of waiting until the next big shop. Feel braver in general. Matched with a cute girl who I'm going to call later, which was generally something I'd never do. But I feel fine about it.

I'm still procrastinating on some things which I need to focus on but, I'm getting there.

[StridingStrider]

Just had the phone conversation which lasted almost an hour.

I felt no fear whereas before I definitely would have.

Don't think it went well, in the sense that the conversation was very academic which isn't what you want when you're trying to woo the ladies, but that's the type of guy I am.

But regardless of the outcome, that was progress!

[StridingStrider]

Night #4 of Cycle #13

Making a lot of progress on my fears. I wouldn't say they're completely gone (yet) but the difference is night and day without going into details.

Loving OF. I would recommend it to anyone with any mental health issues, as I think 90% of the time it's down to fear.

Considering how well OF is working for me; I can't wait to try E4. There's something to be said about running more focused subliminals and E4 looks like a beast.

[THolt]

Night #4 of Cycle #13

Making a lot of progress on my fears. I wouldn't say they're completely gone (yet) but the difference is night and day without going into details.

Loving OF. I would recommend it to anyone with any mental health issues, as I think 90% of the time it's down to fear.

Considering how well OF is working for me; I can't wait to try E4. There's something to be said about running more focused subliminals and E4 looks like a beast.

E4 seems to be going good bud I have only done one cycle so it is hard to really pinpoint what it is doing. 

Looking back, did OF start off with a bang or did it gradually build up steam over time?

[StridingStrider]

Night #4 of Cycle #13

Making a lot of progress on my fears. I wouldn't say they're completely gone (yet) but the difference is night and day without going into details.

Loving OF. I would recommend it to anyone with any mental health issues, as I think 90% of the time it's down to fear.

Considering how well OF is working for me; I can't wait to try E4. There's something to be said about running more focused subliminals and E4 looks like a beast.

E4 seems to be going good bud I have only done one cycle so it is hard to really pinpoint what it is doing. 

Looking back, did OF start off with a bang or did it gradually build up steam over time?

Bang. On my 4th cycle I had a dream of a nuclear bomb going off, that's when I was like holy shit.

It will build up steam over time however. Definitely stick with it until you start seeing results. This new technology is no joke.

[THolt]

Night #4 of Cycle #13

Making a lot of progress on my fears. I wouldn't say they're completely gone (yet) but the difference is night and day without going into details.

Loving OF. I would recommend it to anyone with any mental health issues, as I think 90% of the time it's down to fear.

Considering how well OF is working for me; I can't wait to try E4. There's something to be said about running more focused subliminals and E4 looks like a beast.

E4 seems to be going good bud I have only done one cycle so it is hard to really pinpoint what it is doing. 

Looking back, did OF start off with a bang or did it gradually build up steam over time?

Bang. On my 4th cycle I had a dream of a nuclear bomb going off, that's when I was like holy shit.

It will build up steam over time however. Definitely stick with it until you start seeing results. This new technology is no joke.

What format are you using? 

I am using masked with earphone. 

Masked supposedly is the least powerful format but I did notice results this week. Guess I will need to be patient

[StridingStrider]

Night #4 of Cycle #13

Making a lot of progress on my fears. I wouldn't say they're completely gone (yet) but the difference is night and day without going into details.

Loving OF. I would recommend it to anyone with any mental health issues, as I think 90% of the time it's down to fear.

Considering how well OF is working for me; I can't wait to try E4. There's something to be said about running more focused subliminals and E4 looks like a beast.

E4 seems to be going good bud I have only done one cycle so it is hard to really pinpoint what it is doing. 

Looking back, did OF start off with a bang or did it gradually build up steam over time?

Bang. On my 4th cycle I had a dream of a nuclear bomb going off, that's when I was like holy shit.

It will build up steam over time however. Definitely stick with it until you start seeing results. This new technology is no joke.

What format are you using? 

I am using masked with earphone. 

Masked supposedly is the least powerful format but I did notice results this week. Guess I will need to be patient

Hybrid; guess I like the drill sergeant.

It's all about convenience for me. If I ran E4 I'd probably use US incase the loops didn't finish over night. OF is only about 6 hours though so I can usually fit that in, and it's useful being able to hear it.

But yeah give it time. One cycle is early days.

[THolt]

Night #4 of Cycle #13

Making a lot of progress on my fears. I wouldn't say they're completely gone (yet) but the difference is night and day without going into details.

Loving OF. I would recommend it to anyone with any mental health issues, as I think 90% of the time it's down to fear.

Considering how well OF is working for me; I can't wait to try E4. There's something to be said about running more focused subliminals and E4 looks like a beast.

E4 seems to be going good bud I have only done one cycle so it is hard to really pinpoint what it is doing. 

Looking back, did OF start off with a bang or did it gradually build up steam over time?

Bang. On my 4th cycle I had a dream of a nuclear bomb going off, that's when I was like holy shit.

It will build up steam over time however. Definitely stick with it until you start seeing results. This new technology is no joke.

What format are you using? 

I am using masked with earphone. 

Masked supposedly is the least powerful format but I did notice results this week. Guess I will need to be patient

Hybrid; guess I like the drill sergeant.

It's all about convenience for me. If I ran E4 I'd probably use US incase the loops didn't finish over night. OF is only about 6 hours though so I can usually fit that in, and it's useful being able to hear it.

But yeah give it time. One cycle is early days.

Do you use earphones/ headphones when you use hybrid?

[StridingStrider]

E4 seems to be going good bud I have only done one cycle so it is hard to really pinpoint what it is doing. 

Looking back, did OF start off with a bang or did it gradually build up steam over time?

Bang. On my 4th cycle I had a dream of a nuclear bomb going off, that's when I was like holy shit.

It will build up steam over time however. Definitely stick with it until you start seeing results. This new technology is no joke.

What format are you using? 

I am using masked with earphone. 

Masked supposedly is the least powerful format but I did notice results this week. Guess I will need to be patient

Hybrid; guess I like the drill sergeant.

It's all about convenience for me. If I ran E4 I'd probably use US incase the loops didn't finish over night. OF is only about 6 hours though so I can usually fit that in, and it's useful being able to hear it.

But yeah give it time. One cycle is early days.

Do you use earphones/ headphones when you use hybrid?

No as it's not recommended. Only masked is recommended with earphones/headphones.

[StridingStrider]

Cycle #14 Night #2

Felt rather fearful during last cycle, so I'm going to be reducing rest days from 2 to 1.

In other news, I've heard back from the navy and will be having an interview in November, so I'm looking forward to that.

[StridingStrider]

Been a while. I'm going to be going onto V2 of OF tonight. I've had success with V1 but towards the end I was running it ad hoc due to my phones speakers becoming busted and I felt like I needed to play it 24/7 to get past resistance. Initially I was reticent to go for a new version, but I still plan on staying on OF for a full year, and it's only been about 6 months so far, so a new version feels justified. Also, it's 48 minutes less then previous, so I save time.

Overall I was pleased with what V1 did for me. I've become more open, dropped some fears, louder voice etc. But as I say I was hitting resistance towards the end, so I look forward to V2.

IRL I've also received a provisional offer from the navy, so all things going smoothly I should be entering service in May. I credit OF with helping me get past my fear to apply for the position. I didn't think I did to well in the interview but I guess I showed what I needed to. Onwards and upwards!