The saga continues: AM 6

[AstonMartin]

I don't know if AM stage 7 is too much for me and I'm stuck right now or battling through something. I thought I was doing ok with it, but I just realized I've been cherry picking the stuff that makes me feel good and avoiding the real growth. I don't know what this would be called, selective resistance? It's like I've been focusing on all the flash of being alpha without the substance if that makes any sense. At this point I don't know where this is going to go. I'm sitting here right now and realizing I've somehow been mentally checking out and finding a way to avoid the subs influence. Right now I'm just focusing on sitting with the feelings AM6 is bringing up and the fear is really intense. Like I said, I don't know if this is going to end up with me pushing through the fear or I'm just running into a brickwall here. I find myself dissociating a lot from the subs influence which is no good for growth and it happens without me realizing it a lot of the time until I catch myself again. I'll be done July 1st with stage 7, but at this point I don't think there's much growth left on this stage because a lot of what I'm running across seems better suited for some deep targeted healing.

Its sounds like E2 can be best variant and then re-run AM6.0.

My experience: I'v got most benefits from AM 6.0, then E2, then BASE, then SM3.0. DMSI - no benefits at all (alas).

Right now, I'm re-runing AM6.0 and must say that Stage 1 makes a miracles for me right now, even more than E1/E2 or BASE altogether. Interesting.

[mat422]

I don't know if AM stage 7 is too much for me and I'm stuck right now or battling through something. I thought I was doing ok with it, but I just realized I've been cherry picking the stuff that makes me feel good and avoiding the real growth. I don't know what this would be called, selective resistance? It's like I've been focusing on all the flash of being alpha without the substance if that makes any sense. At this point I don't know where this is going to go. I'm sitting here right now and realizing I've somehow been mentally checking out and finding a way to avoid the subs influence. Right now I'm just focusing on sitting with the feelings AM6 is bringing up and the fear is really intense. Like I said, I don't know if this is going to end up with me pushing through the fear or I'm just running into a brickwall here. I find myself dissociating a lot from the subs influence which is no good for growth and it happens without me realizing it a lot of the time until I catch myself again. I'll be done July 1st with stage 7, but at this point I don't think there's much growth left on this stage because a lot of what I'm running across seems better suited for some deep targeted healing.

Its sounds like E2 can be best variant and then re-run AM6.0.

My experience: I'v got most benefits from AM 6.0, then E2, then BASE, then SM3.0. DMSI - no benefits at all (alas).

Right now, I'm re-runing AM6.0 and must say that Stage 1 makes a miracles for me right now, even more than E1/E2 or BASE altogether. Interesting.

That's what I was thinking as well. Although I'll probably run dmsi because it has an updated version of E2. I'll see how that goes. I guess for now I just have to stop digging so deep into what's causing all this and focus on what I can do to improve. My suspicion is that I've hit a bit of a roadblock with fear and it's not something I can just muscle out of the way so I have to pace myself.

[ffaux]

Sounds to me like stage 7 is pushing you to become more authentic.

[Shannon]

DMSI is certainly digging deeper and stirring up some shit, and with everybody it seems. People finding all sorts of interesting and creative ways to try to resist, and as they do, I am closing each loophole, plugging the dam and closing the gate on doing anything but what the script is designed to do.

3.1 is certainly a powerful one, and it seems to be the first one seriously handling major resistance this well, but I've got a lot planned for 3.2 in terms of plugging holes, closing loopholes and preventing selective execution and other forms of escape.

[mat422]

Sounds to me like stage 7 is pushing you to become more authentic.

I think you're right. I have a tendency to hide how I truly feel a lot of the time. AM6 is unearthing some stuff and I have to deal with it before I learn from it.

DMSI is certainly digging deeper and stirring up some shit, and with everybody it seems. People finding all sorts of interesting and creative ways to try to resist, and as they do, I am closing each loophole, plugging the dam and closing the gate on doing anything but what the script is designed to do.

3.1 is certainly a powerful one, and it seems to be the first one seriously handling major resistance this well, but I've got a lot planned for 3.2 in terms of plugging holes, closing loopholes and preventing selective execution and other forms of escape.

Can't wait to try that out. It always amazes me how far these subliminals have come. I look forward to the day when resistance is a thing of the past and people grow and change from these subliminals in rapid ways. I think humanity as a whole has to wake up and realize how outdated the views on the human mind are. We're capable of so much more.

[mat422]

Had a thought today. I'm trying to break into a career working with music. Just selling my own projects or producing for other people. Before I started AM6 this seemed like one of those impossible dreams. I'd say stuff like "the market is saturated, my music is no good, it's unstable and you can't make a decent living off it, etc." Just all fear based stuff. I'm realizing more and more the only reality that's out there is the one that's in my own head. So if I believe there's no market for my music, there won't be. But if I believe I'll find people to work with and put my focus there I'll find them. They say networking is the most important thing when it comes to finding work and in my experience these subs put you on a direct line to meet the people that will advance you further in your goals. The best way I can describe it is a lot of the time you're surrounded by chaos, but in that chaos is a little oasis where you can find your place and support your own ideas and goals. A lot of people get caught up in the chaos and miss their oasis. It's important not to discount anything, no matter how impossible it seems or how many people tell you "that's not how the world works". I've grown enough and learned enough to realize the truths some people carry around and use as life guidance aren't truths but more of guidelines they've created for themselves. So it's important to create your own reality instead of subscribing to one an authority told you about.

I know I have the capabilities, I just have to stop letting fear sidetrack me into the wrong path. One of the most messed up things I've struggled with is I discount things before even trying them. I think I know how it'll turn out, I think I'm being rational or smart, but in the end it's just fear and me finding a way to weasel my way out of actually even trying to do the thing I'm afraid of. This is fear at it's worst, when it pulls your strings behind the scenes and makes you think you know what you're talking about when you really don't. The insidious nature of it is that you likely won't catch that you're being manipulated, I didn't. Fear makes me do very dumb stuff, often stuff that I don't even realize was dumb until I look back on it and think to myself why did I do that? Of course when you grow it's so obvious and it's like the illusion is lifted, but when you're caught up in it it seems all too real.

[ffaux]

You have no idea how excited I am about running stage 7 when I read posts like that! Good shit man!

[mat422]

You have no idea how excited I am about running stage 7 when I read posts like that! Good shit man!

Thanks, yeah I honestly had no idea what to expect from stage 7 but so far it feels like it's really cementing in the changes I had during my run. It's easier to stay consistent with my beliefs instead of being all wishy washy about them now.

---

I guess more stuff I'm learning. I've been really unhappy and anxious these past few months and I thought it was resistance from the sub. But I think it's just this job. I've gotten stronger and more resilient on AM6, but a toxic environment will always be toxic. I'm not weak for not thriving in this type of environment and I need to stop beating myself up about it.

[mat422]

Been watching my internal dialogue more lately. Realized my mood always goes south when I don't watch what I tell myself enough. For me it's about catching it before it spirals out of control. To give an example.

I was working on a track today, a cover of Close To You by The Carpenters. Figured out the chord progression and melody, had it sounding pretty good. Listened to the original and realized how much more work I had left. Today was my day off so I was more relaxed. But then I thought about having to work tomorrow and not having time to really get into my music. Then I thought about the big picture and got really depressed that I don't have as much energy to pursue my music as much as I'd like. Then I thought about how I'm still stuck in life. Well you can tell how it goes from there.

Anyway, I caught it before it kept turning into that ruminating spiral of depression. It's a step in the right direction because at least now I know what I'm doing to trigger my more depressive episodes and I can avoid it.

On that note I've also realized fighting fear with anger doesn't work. I was really stressed these past few weeks because I kept pushing and pushing. Felt like I had to hype myself up to go into work. I'm getting more clear about the sources of my anxiety and addressing those instead of just trying to power my way through the situations. Trying to work smarter and actually solve this problem instead of wasting all this mental energy coping.

Also I'm taking it easy from now on with the emotional healing. Some things take time to heal and going in there and re traumatizing myself and dwelling on past pains won't make me release them faster. I'm pretty much done treating my mental health as some sort of endurance or strength test, where the more time I stay in that pain the greater the growth. It's just not true and my insecurities surrounding my own weaknesses drove me to subject myself to more than I can handle which consequently stunting my growth at times.

I still have a lot of insecurities about where I am in life. As much as I try not to compare myself to others, it's hard at times. I'm walking a path right now that's far detached from what I've been told growing up. Maybe I'm completely wrong, I don't know. But in my opinion you're more likely to regret a life where you didn't take any chances and played it safe vs taking those chances. It's always those what ifs that keep me up at night and I don't want anymore what ifs in my life.

[kalmah0804]

Damn, it sounds like you're really similar to me and are ending up getting the same results at the same pace with Stage 7 that I was. I made the mistake of bailing at around 21 days--don't make the same mistake I did! I look back now and feel like I was oh so close to having a major breakthrough had I stuck around for the final 11 days.

I've lost count, by the way--how many days have you been on Stage 7 now?

[mat422]

Damn, it sounds like you're really similar to me and are ending up getting the same results at the same pace with Stage 7 that I was. I made the mistake of bailing at around 21 days--don't make the same mistake I did! I look back now and feel like I was oh so close to having a major breakthrough had I stuck around for the final 11 days.

I've lost count, by the way--how many days have you been on Stage 7 now?

Yeah, do you know what your MBTI type is? A lot of the guys I relate to on this forum are the same type as me. I'm glad you stopped by though because a couple of days ago I was strongly considering moving to dmsi. I stuck it out and felt like I pushed past something. I'm at 17 days now, so I'm pretty close to your 21. It wouldn't surprise me if it happens again closer to that time. A lot of this resistance can be unpredictable at times.

[mat422]

Thinking I might run MLS after DMSI. I was doing some music production research the other day and I stumbled upon a guy online with massive amounts of knowledge and experience. At first I was really intimidated and upset because I felt like what I knew in comparison was nothing. But then I realized it was an opportunity to learn even more. Then I realized something else. I think full knowledge and mastery of something has become somewhat of a lost art. Nowadays we get a whole bunch of watered down information, short snippets here and there, and bad information gets parroted around. I'm guilty of it. My attention span is very short, I just want immediate results, I dabble in things here and there but never truly commit to learning things inside and out. I think part of it is fear and ego. It feels good to know that I have knowledge of something and sometimes introducing more learning is intimidating and makes me feel like I truly don't know anything at all. I see this a lot with people that talk about stuff they have no business talking about because they hit your with those surface level facts, but if you dig deeper there's no substance. I've done it, I try my best not to. Hell for years I refused to learn music theory under the mistaken idea it would kill creativity, but because I never actually tried to learn it I had no business stating that as a fact.

I know this is largely a consequence of our technology and all the distractions we have now. Our brains can't focus for long periods of time. I absolutely hate it because it leads you to believe you're gathering a whole bunch of information and becoming more knowledgeable, but the reality is there's not enough depth there.

[kalmah0804]

Damn, it sounds like you're really similar to me and are ending up getting the same results at the same pace with Stage 7 that I was. I made the mistake of bailing at around 21 days--don't make the same mistake I did! I look back now and feel like I was oh so close to having a major breakthrough had I stuck around for the final 11 days.

I've lost count, by the way--how many days have you been on Stage 7 now?

Yeah, do you know what your MBTI type is? A lot of the guys I relate to on this forum are the same type as me. I'm glad you stopped by though because a couple of days ago I was strongly considering moving to dmsi. I stuck it out and felt like I pushed past something. I'm at 17 days now, so I'm pretty close to your 21. It wouldn't surprise me if it happens again closer to that time. A lot of this resistance can be unpredictable at times.

I'm an INFP-T -- with like an absurdly high turbulent score (I think I'm like 97% turbulent, if that makes any sense to you).

[mat422]

Damn, it sounds like you're really similar to me and are ending up getting the same results at the same pace with Stage 7 that I was. I made the mistake of bailing at around 21 days--don't make the same mistake I did! I look back now and feel like I was oh so close to having a major breakthrough had I stuck around for the final 11 days.

I've lost count, by the way--how many days have you been on Stage 7 now?

Yeah, do you know what your MBTI type is? A lot of the guys I relate to on this forum are the same type as me. I'm glad you stopped by though because a couple of days ago I was strongly considering moving to dmsi. I stuck it out and felt like I pushed past something. I'm at 17 days now, so I'm pretty close to your 21. It wouldn't surprise me if it happens again closer to that time. A lot of this resistance can be unpredictable at times.

I'm an INFP-T -- with like an absurdly high turbulent score (I think I'm like 97% turbulent, if that makes any sense to you).

Same here. Don't know about my turbulent score though. It was probably a hell of a lot higher a few years ago. I had a feeling you were INFP, a lot of what you write I could relate to.