06-21-2017, 07:21 PM
Am6 is pushing me to be self sufficient and I've been resisting it. I wanted to make a career out of music only because that's what I felt I was sort of good at. Anything outside of that felt like I didn't have the skills or knowledge. I love music, but none of my stuff is in demand. I know one day I'll get there, but for now in that gap I need a way to support myself and for the future as well. It's not giving up, it's just about being responsible. Something I've been neglecting for most of my life because I'm too damn afraid of everything.
So a lot of my crushing depression these past few days is the realization that I'm in no way a self sufficient adult and I've been hanging onto this idealized reality as a way to escape the responsibilities I need to take on. Funny how at 26 years old I still don't feel like a grown adult.
So a lot of my crushing depression these past few days is the realization that I'm in no way a self sufficient adult and I've been hanging onto this idealized reality as a way to escape the responsibilities I need to take on. Funny how at 26 years old I still don't feel like a grown adult.
