06-10-2017, 04:58 PM
So I got in touch with my subconscious briefly and I think I'm going to continue asking questions and having little sit downs with it. Shannon mentioned it's like an inner child and it totally is. A lot of us who run these subs get irritated when we experience resistance. But resistance comes from somewhere. If you're like me saying "fuck you, we're doing this my way" actually makes things worse. The goal isn't to push, I see that now. It's to coerce, to find what's holding back and why. For me I can tell when the two sides are pulling in opposite directions. My conscious decision is to get out and find a good job, get financially stable, and do something with my music. My subconscious pulls back, makes it difficult to focus, runs and hides, tries everything to get me not to venture out into the dangerous world. My mind is not in alignment, I see that now. And the exhaustion I feel every day is a result of constantly having to exert willpower in order to get anything done instead of having these two sides in unison working together. With enough hard work, yeah I'm sure I could get there. But I wouldn't be solving the underlying problem and it would be the equivalent of using only half of a computer processor to take care of all the tasks I want to accomplish. There's so much more power in there, I just need to figure out how to release it.
