03-03-2017, 10:15 PM
(03-03-2017, 06:36 PM)ffaux Wrote: Thank you for sharing this. I realised when reading it that this journey is worth it.
You're welcome. Glad you got something out of it.
So I've been reading through the John Alexander Alpha Male book some more and I'm coming across a lot of resistance to the ideas. Whenever he talked about things like making sure you're the prize or the most important thing to a woman there was a lot of guilt and shame that popped up. But I didn't see it as guilt and shame at first. I actually projected it outward and felt like the author was being insecure and needed to detach more from his obsession with being the prize. But that's not it at all. It's just me not accepting the idea that I can be the prize or desirable by women.
I notice when I see people who think highly of themselves I tend to get hostile. I also notice my aversion to confrontations is not because of some peaceful mindset, it's because I don't value myself enough. When I say confrontations, I don't mean really harsh ones that escalate to violence or whatever. I'm just talking regular every day stuff, like when someone disrespects you somehow or takes advantage of you. I was thinking I was all zen and crap, above anger, but it couldn't be further from the truth.
All these alpha attributes the sub has been trying to instill in me I was painting in a negative light. But none of them are. It's just my deep insecurity with myself that is preventing me from embracing a more powerful me.
