11-16-2015, 03:16 PM
Today has not been too good for me...I'm not gonna talk about it. It's small things that happened before I even left my room that started my day off bad....
Anyway, I will say that today social anxiety was pretty much nonexistent.
On the bad side, I started to get angry. I was angry about what I'm doing with my life. I came to college to have fun and get the social experience, that was MY reason for coming. And right now, that's not happening and it pisses me off. A degree is meaningless for my career choice. Yet I still put out effort just so my parents will be satisfied with my grades. Getting perfect A's is not my goal. Grades were never my primary goal once I hit high school and I could think for myself.
Today, I would just get angry when I saw a guy with an attractive girl...this time I thought "WHERE'S MINE?!" "I WANT TO GET MINE"! I want to get the girls I choose and I want the happiness I fucking deserve in life! I WANT TO LIVE THE ADVENTURE! That's what I want! And not having it is making me pissed off. Even though I felt like this today, I didn't feel like I was about to totally lose control. During EPRHA, it was about 3 times worse than what I felt today and I almost felt like I would lose control.
I'm going to stick with doing both for the time being. I don't know which of the two programs is bringing up resistance, but that shit needs to go right fucking now! Also, two users didn't follow the 8hr rule and they got fantastic results. Kanp used BIATBWS ultrasonic on a MONO speaker at night for 6-8 hrs with AoS on earphones for 6-8 hours during the day. He got fantastic results. The user currently called SouthPaw used AoS for an average of only 4 HOURS per day and he said he got a lot of attention. So I feel that using stereo 100% of the time and using earbuds at least 50% of the time and definitely getting 7 hours (most of the time right at 8) or more a day should yield at least the same results. But IF I do feel that using 2 is holding me back, I will be using BIATBWS solo then. I read the script and if that actually locks into my mind I'll be a more complete person.
Anyway, I will say that today social anxiety was pretty much nonexistent.
On the bad side, I started to get angry. I was angry about what I'm doing with my life. I came to college to have fun and get the social experience, that was MY reason for coming. And right now, that's not happening and it pisses me off. A degree is meaningless for my career choice. Yet I still put out effort just so my parents will be satisfied with my grades. Getting perfect A's is not my goal. Grades were never my primary goal once I hit high school and I could think for myself.
Today, I would just get angry when I saw a guy with an attractive girl...this time I thought "WHERE'S MINE?!" "I WANT TO GET MINE"! I want to get the girls I choose and I want the happiness I fucking deserve in life! I WANT TO LIVE THE ADVENTURE! That's what I want! And not having it is making me pissed off. Even though I felt like this today, I didn't feel like I was about to totally lose control. During EPRHA, it was about 3 times worse than what I felt today and I almost felt like I would lose control.
I'm going to stick with doing both for the time being. I don't know which of the two programs is bringing up resistance, but that shit needs to go right fucking now! Also, two users didn't follow the 8hr rule and they got fantastic results. Kanp used BIATBWS ultrasonic on a MONO speaker at night for 6-8 hrs with AoS on earphones for 6-8 hours during the day. He got fantastic results. The user currently called SouthPaw used AoS for an average of only 4 HOURS per day and he said he got a lot of attention. So I feel that using stereo 100% of the time and using earbuds at least 50% of the time and definitely getting 7 hours (most of the time right at 8) or more a day should yield at least the same results. But IF I do feel that using 2 is holding me back, I will be using BIATBWS solo then. I read the script and if that actually locks into my mind I'll be a more complete person.
