12-15-2021, 08:08 AM
Day 76/180
So I played Tranquilizer for 2 loops and I must say, I am impressed with how effective it is at putting me to sleep. I got a decent 8-9 hrs of sleep in. I hope this won't conflict with OF, its only a one off.
Although I had good sleep, I woke up feeling terrible which is paradoxical. I had butterflies in my stomach and felt a tremendous amount of depression. I felt like crying and this was very unusual especially in the morning. I went out to work in a cafe, I could barely look into people's eyes because I was so scared. I was extremely self conscious and felt insecure about the way I looked.
The meditation helped me let go and ground myself, but the emotions have been overwhelming. I know this won't last very long so I'm not too worried... But man it fucking sucks. The past few days have been terrible.
Back to playing OF tonight. I'm not looking forward to it. This resistance could be a sign. Maybe I am overdoing it with Hybrid and should go back to silent.
So I played Tranquilizer for 2 loops and I must say, I am impressed with how effective it is at putting me to sleep. I got a decent 8-9 hrs of sleep in. I hope this won't conflict with OF, its only a one off.
Although I had good sleep, I woke up feeling terrible which is paradoxical. I had butterflies in my stomach and felt a tremendous amount of depression. I felt like crying and this was very unusual especially in the morning. I went out to work in a cafe, I could barely look into people's eyes because I was so scared. I was extremely self conscious and felt insecure about the way I looked.
The meditation helped me let go and ground myself, but the emotions have been overwhelming. I know this won't last very long so I'm not too worried... But man it fucking sucks. The past few days have been terrible.
Back to playing OF tonight. I'm not looking forward to it. This resistance could be a sign. Maybe I am overdoing it with Hybrid and should go back to silent.
