The Modern Libertine's diary

[Cortez]

You have befouled the purity of my thread with your language, madame.


Btw, I totally forgot you were doing Alpha female. I need to go check out your journal and see your progress.

[massagemaggie]

I haven't updated my journal, been so lazy with typing. The results have been astonishing, to say the least. The main reason I haven't posted them is because I've wanted to put the effort into the comparison and contrast, and have been enjoying myself too much to do it.

I'm actually shocked on a daily basis when I notice my response to things, and how it's differed from the me in the past. Normally when I make changes (always an aspiration, move up and move on) there is this period of struggle where you're doing things differently than you were before. With AF it's happening automatically, and afterwards I think holy shit. My god, this is really me, the better me.

[RainbowAbyss]

And now ur befouling the journal with self praise lol
Im just messing..ur making me want to do alpha male again!
the irony..Im the worst me now...except better with woman.
that makes 96%

[Cortez]

Alpha male is a great set, but man I get so angry in the first few stages. The same thing happened last time, except this time it seems much stronger. I think I've been too long without a good trip, lol. Take that for what you will.

[Spiral]

haha, well hopefully stage 2 isn't too much worse than stage 1 for me then.

[Cortez]

I wouldn't know yet. I just started stage 2 yesterday. Stage 1 was the toughest last time, so I imagine it will be the same this time as well. Maybe it's easier from here.

[RainbowAbyss]

the torture we put ourselves through for the sake of improvement

[Cortez]

Wow! Stage 1 was very trying. I've ;ashed out multiple times at people(When it was deserved of course, lol). Stage 2 is more mellow for me. I am centered once more and meditating a lot more. I feel very much at peace. I am very much enjoying it for now. It's hard to really pinpoint what stage 2 is doing, but I definitely feel it working on my mind in a big way.

[Cortez]

Like half an hour. Way back when I used to go for four.

[Ryan]

Is this natural grounding meditation you're talking about?

Ryan

[Spiral]

wow 4 hours is a long time! I've only managed 15 min. once but I've done meditation for like 2 1/2 hours before.. (nap meditation)

[Cortez]

No, it's just regular meditation, Ryan. NG I always saw as more of a visualization sort of thing. When I was doing it for 4 hours at a time, I was experiencing small tastes of what is possible for humans as far as ecstasy is concerned. At that time I was using binaural beats as a meditation aid.

[Cortez]

Stage 2 is bringing a lot more peace of mind to me. I feel more like a rock than the "fun going party maniac" thing that I had going on when I was doing SM. This is similar to the way I felt last time I did Alpha Male, but it's much stronger. Partly because it was the 2010 version and now I'm doing 2011 and also because I have already had one run through of Alpha Male. Last time the "Rock" feeling didn't happen until Stage 4.

I'm still working out insanely. I had to take a few weeks off/taking it easy when I DID work out because I injured a rib during 4 straight hours of dancing at a nightclub a couple weeks ago, which by the way was madness. I think my dance floor game was at demi-god level that night, so it was somewhat worth it and then I got really sick, so I couldn't work out at all for a few days. Now I'm better, though and I am working out harder than ever. Mainly I'm doing a lot of bodyweight and kettlebell exercises in my backyard instead of going to the gym. It's just been so nice outside and being in the sun makes your body produce more vitamin D which in turn makes your body produce a LOT more testosterone. You can feel a huge difference. I also got a new cognitive enhancing formula in the mail today to take in addition to the one that I made so I'm excited to see how that affects my mental performance which it seems is getting pushed further and further to the limits every day, lol.


I haven't mentioned women in a while, so I'll talk a little about how that's going. I'm not currently seeing anyone, but there is a girl I know who has been pursuing me hardcore lately and I do mean hardcore. I like her personality a lot and I'm certainly very attracted to her. So I'll give her a chance. She is a little younger than I'm used to(20), but my only thing against younger girls is they're often times very frivolous. When one proves herself not to be AS goofy(I'll allow for a little bit, after all, I'm pretty damn ridiculous myself) that's a big turn on for me and this girl seems a little mature for her age. I like that a lot. She's not the only one giving me attention lately. I've had that all over the place, but she's the only one right now I'm interested in reciprocating the attention with.

[Cortez]

Wow! Adding in the Seize the Day sub to stage 2 of Alpha really added a crazy kick to it. My rage is subsiding from the first stage, but my motivation is incredibly high. I'm having a lot of fun right now. This summer is going to be amazing.