The Modern Libertine's diary

[Cortez]

This sub is working so well with my personality that it's absurd. I've only been listening to the thing for ten days now and it already feels like it has taken everything seductive about me and magnified it a hundred times. Also my happiness has been so high lately that I have to tone it down a bit when dealing with others. Also, womeon have been going out of their way to talk to me lately and making it quite obvious that they're inafuated with me. This happened before, but to a lesser degree and I think I am much less intimidating to them now or put in another way, I don't feel like I have such a strong, impenetrable wall keeping them away like I did sometimes during the alpha male. I certainly wasn't complaining when I did, it was a good feeling of wanting to spend time alone and a phase I think that every man should go through. Now I'm more open to people, though and I let women in to my reality. Whatever neediness I had left is continuing to die off. All in all...I feel good.

[Shannon]

I am having a wonderful time watching your progress, especially since I cannot use that program for a while... I'm only on Stage 4 of AM2011.

[Cortez]

I'm glad to post regular updates. You've made a masterpiece with this set, my friend.

[Cortez]

The Sex Magnet gave me an abundance of sexual energy recently. Well actually it was a combo of things. 1- The Sex Magnet and 2- The girl I was seeing moved away about a month ago to New York, so I haven't been having regular sex or been doing anything sexual in any way(I'm trying to censor this here, but I think you get what I mean). I've been allowing the sexual energy to build up and see where that takes me. When I was on Alpha Male, that wouldn't have been a problem because I favored the aloof state that it put me in and I could go quite a while without any kind of sexual release and feel great, but with the combo of the Sex Magnet, I had a massive surge of sexual energy and wanted to use it. I ended up finding myself looking at a lot of pictures of naked women whenever I happened to be bored or have nothing to do, but somehow didn't have the urge to...well you know. I would just look at them. This kind of messed me up for a few days, lol and I found myself wanting again. I had a massive build up of entropy as well, I think, because I went in to a sort downward spiral depression for a few days. Normally I don't think this sort of thing would even be worth mentioning, but for the sake of the Sex Magnet story, I'll provide details. Anyway, I realized what I was doing, stopped it and replaced the time I was looking at naked women with meditation. I love naked women, but feeding a fantasy is never good to do, lol and I know that. I was just way too horny and not giving myself any kind of release. I feel fantastic now and God am I dangerous around women. It feels great.

[Ryan]

Ron, Bikini Beach recently closed down here... Unfortunately, their menu sucked and they just couldn't draw in the people like they thought they could. Though it was nice girls in bikinis.

Cortez, you made me extremely excited to get to this set. I remember my Woman Magnet days always being so happy, I was soooo high on life, it sounds like you are getting this effect from SM, I can't wait =)

[Cortez]

I don't think it was the same place because the menu at the place I went to was pretty good.


Yeah, it totally gives you the high on life feeling. There is that damn resistance that usually comes after the initial "high" you get at the beginning of the sub. I haven't got a tremendous amount of that, but like I said above, it did happen a little. I'm curious to see the effects later on because no one has been through it yet. So, I don't have the experiences of others as a guide of what to expect. It should be interesting.

[Shannon]

Sex Magnet 2011 will eventually start using your sexual energy to make "interesting things" happen.

[Cortez]

Well then I'm glad I have lots of it, haha.

[Cortez]

Oh also, lot's of funny stuff happening. I have been hitting the hot eye contact everywhere with women. They go out of their way to convey the "I want you RIGHT NOW" look. I don't pay a tremendous amount of attention to this when I'm at work because it's sort of just a passing thing and I have a job the requires a lot of attention usually, so unless I have some free time, I don't really mess with the girls at work(not to mention I don't generally date girls from work). That doesn't stop them from messing with me, though. I have to make a lot of phone calls at my job and while I was talking to a customer today, one of the girls(she's pretty cute) comes up and starts spanking my ass, trying to get me to crack while I'm on the phone. Stuff like that happens all day long. I don't generally talk about this stuff, but for the sake of the journal I thought it would be funny. Here's a short list of ridiculous things

-I have a lesbian friend who is constantly telling me about dreams she has of seeing me naked.

-There's at least two married women(Yes, there's two now) who everyone knows are both completely in love with me.

-Apparently I have a reputation as a player amongst just about everyone I know(I wonder how I got that)

-At least 25 or more times a day, women give me that longing look.


Not gloating, as a matter of fact I often let these things go right as they happen and never really mention them again, but I thought I should give a framework with what my reality currently looks like so we can compare how much more ridiculous it gets with Sex Magnet. As of right now I have not been acting on any of this. I want to forever be rid of neediness and never again act out of that feeling. I feel like I'm so close. Also, my standards are getting higher all the time, so not all these women are ones I would consider being with, but I'm meeting more and more every day that are closer to what I like. In fact, there's a beautiful asian girl that works at the front desk of the gym I go to. She's always all smiles whenever she see's me. I may have to act on that one.

Oh, also I got a pretty substantial raise today. Tonight I'm celebrating with wine and pasta, but for now I think I'm going to go fall asleep in the sun. It's beautiful outside.

[Ryan]

Lol I'm going through the same with everyone thinking I'm a player. This started while running through Alpha Male. Whenever I meet a new girl she assumes I'm a player because I won't settle with her and even though I'm honest with her, I'm still labeled a player. My friends all apparently know that I'm screwing around, many of which are friends of friends. Though many of them agree I'm not technically playing because I'm not lying, they still always bring up all my 'other girls'...

Ryan

[Cortez]

Yes, it's very tough lives you and I live, Ryan, but someone has to do it. :angel:

[ronatello]

I'm starting to get that reputation as well. A girl that's on my FB friends list jumped my case about me putting pictures of me with women on my profile pic, along with exotic cars and whatnot alleging that I was trying to impress people and chase women. I do that stuff just for the heck of it, and never to impress anyone. I had a car pic previously (Ferrari Testarossa) and that pic was took back in June, '09 at the San Diego car museum at Balboa Park.
Of course, I changed the pic to a tiger, a pic that I took 2 years ago at the LR zoo. But I did so not because of her, I just like changing pics around randomly at random times.
I have ZERO tolerance for jealousy, pettiness and tackiness and if she jumps my case again, it's audios senora! I am getting so fed up with people's crap around here (not on this forum, lol) it's not even funny!
Ronnie does what he wants when he wants to!

[Cortez]

Man, I've been tired lately and that could be due to the carpet bombing on my mind. I feel like it's really doing my major things in my brain. Of course it adds to the sleepiness that I usually get up at 3:30 am every day and lift weights on averag for at least an hour five days a week, but that's becoming normal for me. The extra tiredness is the mental lethargy that I'm used to from the early days of alpha male, whenever it was really hitting my brain hard. This is hitting it way harder. It's definitely much stronger. I have the desire to take lot's of naps, lol.

As far as effects go, I find myself enjoying the company of women more and more. Actually enjoying them and their beauty and everything about them. They enjoy being around me more to. Girls go out of their way on a daily basis to do things for me and on general just turn in to giggling wrecks around me. It's tough to describe this way of being, but it's a pretty great feeling. I become overcome with joy sometimes for no reason and find myself smiling a lot and yet I do not have a tremendous desire to pursue women. I know there's tons of them for me everywhere. That's the way it should be.

[Spiral]

Hell yea, Cortez. I'm not looking forward to feeling the carpet bombing effect again and from what it sounds like it hits very hard. BUT as long as I just relax and enjoy life for what is now I guess that won't matter too much. Have you been getting any motivation to go out and meet new people or just go out to be around people?