(02-11-2012, 08:58 AM)Spiral Wrote: I dislike writing a lot of stuff but here it goes..
Before beginning Sex Magnet I finished Alpha Male as well as a hand full of other subs. But one thing that continued to plague me is being comfortable in my skin, anxiety, and being a leader. It was all about self control for me and I feel like I have a lot more control over my life now than I ever have. But also I’m more happy and the void in my heart is growing smaller and smaller every day. My anxiety is at an all time low and I feel like I can have any girl I want. The only problem with living in abundance is making a choice. I seem to be significantly more decisive in all things not involving women which is funny so I think a lot of my resistance I experienced during SM has to do with that. Pulling the trigger as well has always been a problem for me and can still be a problem due to some lingering negative thinking and excuse making. All in all a lot of tension has been lifted off of me. My shoulders are more relaxed, anxiety is almost none existant… especially when I can breath properly and seasonal allergies aren’t plagueing me. SM could have been better because I have not had sex the whole time. But now it’s not about sex. It’s about the simple connection with others. I’m more vulnerable to it because of being comfortable with it all. It’s all good basically. I’m ready to continue my journey in this life with the help of subliminals because they are awesome!
All in all SM was awesome. We all change at our own pace. I’m working on putting myself in more social situations and looking for new things to do that involve being around people. Maybe after a second run through of Alpha Male and Sex Magnet none of that will even matter because I’ll be making out with women against walls in the clubs and f$#%kin’ in the bushes.But I could care less. It’s just enjoying my time here and now in whatever way possible. I should conclude this now. SM has just made me like everything more. Forgiveing others.. not taking things too personally. It’s all whatever. I’m just going to do what makes me happy and enjoy the moment as much as I physically and mentally can. Cool cool cool
Interesting. You know after finishing SM I decided to avoid sex unless certain conditions were met. Ironic, since I was propositioned several times during and after set completion and women have been extremely forward with me which almost never used to happen and I've been fairly reclusive during the set. At the beginning of the set I did not have this goal either it was more of an experiment. Now at the end of the experiment my need for it is close to zero, and my pickiness is at an all time high. The second a girl gets to forward in a date I cut it off and don't see her again (the last 3/4 I've left two of which propositioned me). Now a disclaimer about what I'm going to say: I don't think I'm some kind of gods gift to women. I'm not into the whole "game" scene or any of that. But now a woman has to more than ever earn the privilege of sleeping with me. I realize that may sound haughty to some but it goes both ways. I have to earn her respect, trust, and eventually the privilege of sleeping with her as well. When I don't feel a mutual connection of equal self-worths between us I am just not interested in sex anymore and a lot of girls have found this extremely frustrating. They don't understand it's disrespectful, distasteful, and plain offensive when they ask me to have sex with them on the first date. Probably because it's such a reversal from what they're used to.
However, if my goal was to have as much sex as possible, I could have made that decision and I can say this set would definitely have gotten me there.
