08-06-2019, 02:50 PM
Not the greatest day today, everything from arguments to my car breaking down and becoming useless has happened. Unless the money I've been waiting for comes through, the repairs for it will tank me financially for the next 2 weeks. Noticed that my anger, although still being channeled by the sub, was the greatest it's been within the past 1-2 years. So much that I completely lost my temper a couple of times.
Even meditation didn't help, neither did trying to rationalize it away. I truly felt like I was moments away from a physical altercation, and all due to having a difficult time controlling myself. Part of the reason the anger surfaced was due to events that I clearly haven't healed from in my past. It seems this rage is a defense mechanism, surfacing to ensure that I assert and defend myself in situations on the spot, unlike in the past where many times I often said nothing or would just let things blow over until I was calm enough to talk.
In other news, last night I met someone through FB that helped me gain access to a self-improvement resource that I thought I would've had to wait to use for at least another couple of months. Cool dude and it looks like he wants to establish a long-term business connection.
Even meditation didn't help, neither did trying to rationalize it away. I truly felt like I was moments away from a physical altercation, and all due to having a difficult time controlling myself. Part of the reason the anger surfaced was due to events that I clearly haven't healed from in my past. It seems this rage is a defense mechanism, surfacing to ensure that I assert and defend myself in situations on the spot, unlike in the past where many times I often said nothing or would just let things blow over until I was calm enough to talk.
In other news, last night I met someone through FB that helped me gain access to a self-improvement resource that I thought I would've had to wait to use for at least another couple of months. Cool dude and it looks like he wants to establish a long-term business connection.
