Shannon's OFv3 Journal

[Qiel]

Last night, on my second night on, I woke up some time during the night.  Something being processed kicked me out of sleep.  Whatever it was, it was enough to wake me up, but it was so well dealt with that I felt no fear, and no anxiety, and in fact had no idea why I had awakened except a quickly fading memory of something having been "too exciting".  I fell back asleep in a few seconds.

I almost never wake up during the might.  I can count the number of times that has happened in my entire life on one hand.  Once was last night, and that made me remember once was the night before last, on my second ASRB2 "first day on".  I remembered that night before last, I had also exited sleep, and while I was conscious, I groaned.  Some deeper part of me was trying to communicate through that groan that it was very uncomfortable.  But as with last night, I awakened enough to be conscious, and then fell right back to sleep.  There was no fear, no anxiety, no conscious awareness of upset.  

That means the program is doing its job well.  It's protecting the conscious awareness from the process of overcoming fear, and while that process isn't necessarily all flowers and candy for the deeper parts, it is getting done.  That means the program is overcoming the resistance that would otherwise normally prevent progress.

I wish there were some way I could make the process easier for the fearful parts, but I have already done everything I can think of in that direction, and I don't think there's anything else that can be done.

This program is incredibly powerful, smooth and is definitely doing it's job.  Even the backache is fading away, as if the muscles involved had been pulled from hypertension and are now healing and in fact mostly healed.

So far I'm really impressed and pleased, but I worry sometimes that the program is so good at what it's doing that some people won't be able to tell that it's working.  After all, it's much easier to see high contrast than low, and much easier to notice fear than lack of fear.

Relax, Shannon. When we said it's "smooth" it's really smooth in good way. So smooth that I personally can't describe it properly through word. And for anyone who don't speak or write English well, I have good news because I'm one of you and I can tell that this program works.