Shannon's OF 5.75G Experience

[Shannon]

Hey Shannon,

You may have answered somewhere else previously, but which track do you and your gf primarily listen to for OF? And through what means? I think you mentioned you listen just on your phone? I have a small 6 inch wide speaker that I can hook up to my phone if it would give me better results. Being a standalone speaker I thought it may be better.(though I still wouldn't be getting full stereo since it's not around my head...)

Do you think it'd be worth using the speaker still or just use my phone in between me and my gf overnight?

I always use my cell phone on my night stand on my side of the bed, playing through the cell phone's speaker using ultrasonic format.  We use a volume of 12 or 13 most of the time, depending on what program we are using.  Try that.  I've been doing it that way for a long, long time now.

12-13 out of what total #? What kind of phone do you have? 

I use the iPhone and I find that if I listen to ultrasonic via speakers higher than 5-7 out of 16 for a prolonged period of time it will lead to ringing in my ears and sometimes headaches- it also makes it difficult to fall asleep if it’s too loud

Sorry.  I use Android.  So 12/13 out of 15.  You would have to use what volume works for you, or what format if you want to try a similar volume.

[XyzN]

.........

[UniversalMan]

Are you guys playing the ultrasonic track on a phone that is capable of reproducing the audio stereo, or?
@Shannon what phone model do you use?

[Shannon]

Are you guys playing the ultrasonic track on a phone that is capable of reproducing the audio stereo, or?
@Shannon what phone model do you use?

I use a cheap LG Q7+.  Got tired of buying high end phones and having them shatter and cost hundreds of dollars just to replace.  It does not have a stereo speaker.

As to you guys having pain from listening to ultrasonic at anything but low volumes, there is a significant amount of evidence suggesting that that is very possibly an effort at making the program uncomfortable to listen to directly as a resistance response.  Some of my testers have managed to overcome it, at least to some degree, by slowly increasing the volumes over time, starting out very low and working up one click per week.

[Shannon]

Had the first dream in a long time now that I remembered last night. In it, I was attending a bridal shower (or something like that) that was being thrown by the woman I was going to marry... she "invited me" to it, along with a lot of her friends and family, all of whom knew me as the Groom To Be. The oddities started piling up very quickly, though, because the woman I was going to marry turned out not to be my current girlfriend, but a crush from high school, who is now married and has two kids... in the dream, she was not married, and had no kids. I haven't spoken to her in over 10 years now.

Then, I was there with my current girlfriend, who was also my girlfriend in the dream. I was somehow unable to figure out how to deal with this, and it made me uncomfortable. It was as if I had no will of my own. My girlfriend was very upset that I was marrying someone else, never mind that I had invited her. I felt bad, but it seemed like a foregone decision that I could somehow do nothing about.

I was dressed in a very sharp tuxedo, all white with real gold trim. Gold metal thread embroidery. It looked way too sharp (and more than a little too tacky) for the occasion. The woman I was going to marry was there in her wedding gown, with her flowers and veil. But before I could go over and talk to her, she declared that she had to go party with some friends somewhere else, and left. Within 3 minutes of my arrival, and that of the other guests. WTF?

At this point in the dream, everyone in attendance is only there to be polite to the bride, who is clearly not being polite to any of us. We are all there trying to make small talk, uneasily waiting for her to get back.

Then I find myself in a bedroom off the main reception area the gathering is being held in, and one of the bride's friends (who I dated in real life) is laying on the bed. Somehow, she's wearing clothes and naked at the same time. I sat down next to her and half jokingly asked if she was there to have sex with me, to which she replied in the negative. The way she did it made me think she didn't want me there, so I left.

Then I went back to my girlfriend, who had taken a seat near the entry way where the guest book was. There was a lit white candle burning next to the guest book. I tried to talk to her, but she was crying because I was marrying someone else, and I felt terrible, but somehow it never crossed my mind to just break off this ridiculous wedding and leave with my girlfriend. Again, looking back, it was as if I had no will of my own and no say in the matter.

After a while, people started leaving, and I asked one of the bride's parents where she was. They told me they had no idea, they only knew what I knew. As I'm getting ready to walk out, the bride to be she comes back in through the same door she left though - which was not the entryway door, but a door on the side of the room - and is happy and playful and giddy, but is ignoring everyone there. I try to make my way over to her, but again, before I get there, she leaves - this time, to go upstairs and go to sleep, IIRC.

At this point I suddenly find myself in my car driving away from the "whatever the hell that was I just attended", and I need to turn left at the second of three left turn options. I get distracted by the effects of the railroad tracks I'm crossing and pass my turn, so I have to turn at the third street, which leads me way out of the area and then I spend several days driving home, because to turn around I have to drive straight for three states before I can turn around. I am wondering what the hell is going on and why there is no way to turn, stop or do anything else, since this road passes through multiple major cities. Then my dogs wake me up whining to go out.

Interesting dream, with an apparent theme of not being in control, but I have no idea what any of it has to do with overcoming fear...

[findingme]

My 2 cents.

An apparent fear I felt while reading was "what if I had no control over my life's direction?" For me, it's being powerless, all over the place, learned from living with others believing they were powerless to change. It's a very unsettling fear which I've had, for it's meant I've allowed others to be in control, and some care not about me, much less themselves. Kind of like your bride in the dream.

In short, living like that was living in constant fear. Living like that over time, even without their presence and imput, had me lose hope, thinking I had no other choices except for bad ones, all to keep the family "norm" in place. I ended up making some poor choices for myself. But using OF specifically is like taking some mental blinders off.

What I'm realizing is that these past poor choices have come from my inner child's projections, reality, and beliefs. I'm still learning how to love him, correct him responsibly, and be an attentive parent. The use of OF is challenging some of these old beliefs constantly, as I'm facing some of it each and every day (not too intensely). But again, I'm seeing it constantly.

So, thank you for making OF. We always have choice. This sub is helping me see that.

Have you had any personal insights about yourself since the dream?

[UniversalMan]

Are you guys playing the ultrasonic track on a phone that is capable of reproducing the audio stereo, or?
@Shannon what phone model do you use?

I use a cheap LG Q7+.  Got tired of buying high end phones and having them shatter and cost hundreds of dollars just to replace.  It does not have a stereo speaker.

As to you guys having pain from listening to ultrasonic at anything but low volumes, there is a significant amount of evidence suggesting that that is very possibly an effort at making the program uncomfortable to listen to directly as a resistance response.  Some of my testers have managed to overcome it, at least to some degree, by slowly increasing the volumes over time, starting out very low and working up one click per week.

So, for ultrasonic it does not have to be stereo?

[UniversalMan]

Had the first dream in a long time now that I remembered last night.  In it, I was attending a bridal shower (or something like that) that was being thrown by the woman I was going to marry... she "invited me" to it, along with a lot of her friends and family, all of whom knew me as the Groom To Be.  The oddities started piling up very quickly, though, because the woman I was going to marry turned out not to be my current girlfriend, but a crush from high school, who is now married and has two kids... in the dream, she was not married, and had no kids.  I haven't spoken to her in over 10 years now.  

Then, I was there with my current girlfriend, who was also my girlfriend in the dream.  I was somehow unable to figure out how to deal with this, and it made me uncomfortable.  It was as if I had no will of my own.  My girlfriend was very upset that I was marrying someone else, never mind that I had invited her.  I felt bad, but it seemed like a foregone decision that I could somehow do nothing about.

I was dressed in a very sharp tuxedo, all white with real gold trim.  Gold metal thread embroidery.  It looked way too sharp (and more than a little too tacky) for the occasion.  The woman I was going to marry was there in her wedding gown, with her flowers and veil.  But before I could go over and talk to her, she declared that she had to go party with some friends somewhere else, and left.  Within 3 minutes of my arrival, and that of the other guests.  WTF?

At this point in the dream, everyone in attendance is only there to be polite to the bride, who is clearly not being polite to any of us.  We are all there trying to make small talk, uneasily waiting for her to get back.

Then I find myself in a bedroom off the main reception area the gathering is being held in, and one of the bride's friends (who I dated in real life) is laying on the bed.  Somehow, she's wearing clothes and naked at the same time.  I sat down next to her and half jokingly asked if she was there to have sex with me, to which she replied in the negative.  The way she did it made me think she didn't want me there, so I left.

Then I went back to my girlfriend, who had taken a seat near the entry way where the guest book was.  There was a lit white candle burning next to the guest book.  I tried to talk to her, but she was crying because I was marrying someone else, and I felt terrible, but somehow it never crossed my mind to just break off this ridiculous wedding and leave with my girlfriend.  Again, looking back, it was as if I had no will of my own and no say in the matter.

After a while, people started leaving, and I asked one of the bride's parents where she was.  They told me they had no idea, they only knew what I knew.  As I'm getting ready to walk out, the bride to be she comes back in through the same door she left though - which was not the entryway door, but a door on the side of the room - and is happy and playful and giddy, but is ignoring everyone there.  I try to make my way over to her, but again, before I get there, she leaves - this time, to go upstairs and go to sleep, IIRC.  

At this point I suddenly find myself in my car driving away from the "whatever the hell that was I just attended", and I need to turn left at the second of three left turn options.  I get distracted by the effects of the railroad tracks I'm crossing and pass my turn, so I have to turn at the third street, which leads me way out of the area and then I spend several days driving home, because to turn around I have to drive straight for three states before I can turn around.  I am wondering what the hell is going on and why there is no way to turn, stop or do anything else, since this road passes through multiple major cities.  Then my dogs wake me up whining to go out.

Interesting dream, with an apparent theme of not being in control,  but I have no idea what any of it has to do with overcoming fear...

If I can...
Is it possible that back than you thought that you two will end up together?
Were you crazy in love with her?
Did she hurt you?
Back then ,have you made any promise to yourself or to the high school crush?

I'm not curious,those are questions to answer to yourself....

It could be possible that you were releasing or working on releasing "something" that subconsciously was blocking you in your current relationship, and as a result creating fear of something in present time and relationship?

[Shannon]

My 2 cents.

An apparent fear I felt while reading was "what if I had no control over my life's direction?"  For me, it's being powerless, all over the place, learned from living with others believing they were powerless to change.  It's a very unsettling fear which I've had, for it's meant I've allowed others to be in control, and some care not about me, much less themselves.  Kind of like your bride in the dream.

In short, living like that was living in constant fear.  Living like that over time, even without their presence and imput, had me lose hope, thinking I had no other choices except for bad ones, all to keep the family "norm" in place. I ended up making some poor choices for myself.   But using OF specifically is like taking some mental blinders off.

What I'm realizing is that these past poor choices have come from my inner child's projections, reality, and beliefs.  I'm still learning how to love him, correct him responsibly, and be an attentive parent.  The use of OF is challenging some of these old beliefs constantly, as I'm facing some of it each and every day (not too intensely).  But again, I'm seeing it constantly.  

So, thank you for making OF.  We always have choice.  This sub is helping me see that.  

Have you had any personal insights about yourself since the dream?

You are welcome for OF.  Fear is the only thing left holding us back.

After some contemplation, I think this dream is dealing with the point of view of a very early part of my awareness, which was convinced of its own helplessness and powerless not just by fear, but by its interpretation of the chaos I lived through as a young child, which resulted in me believing I was helpless because I had no way to know what was and was not real.  Everything my senses told me was real was contradicted by what the adults around me would say while they were drinking.  Sometimes they would contradict these impressions (when drunk) and sometimes they would not (when sober).  But that part of me is so young that it didn't comprehend the difference or why that difference existed, so it's still dealing with that mindset.  

In other words, I suspect that in some way, that dream was a part of me trying to communicate that it can't do what's being asked of it because there's nothing it perceives to be veritably real for it to act based on.  It is confused as to how to proceed because it doesn't know what is and is not "real".

That is fascinating.  The program was not designed specifically with such a scenario in mind, but it should overcome even this because of how it is designed.

[Shannon]

Are you guys playing the ultrasonic track on a phone that is capable of reproducing the audio stereo, or?
@Shannon what phone model do you use?

I use a cheap LG Q7+.  Got tired of buying high end phones and having them shatter and cost hundreds of dollars just to replace.  It does not have a stereo speaker.

As to you guys having pain from listening to ultrasonic at anything but low volumes, there is a significant amount of evidence suggesting that that is very possibly an effort at making the program uncomfortable to listen to directly as a resistance response.  Some of my testers have managed to overcome it, at least to some degree, by slowly increasing the volumes over time, starting out very low and working up one click per week.

So, for ultrasonic it does not have to be stereo?

None of it needs stereo - you will get better results from stereo, but it still works with mono.

[Shannon]

Had the first dream in a long time now that I remembered last night.  In it, I was attending a bridal shower (or something like that) that was being thrown by the woman I was going to marry... she "invited me" to it, along with a lot of her friends and family, all of whom knew me as the Groom To Be.  The oddities started piling up very quickly, though, because the woman I was going to marry turned out not to be my current girlfriend, but a crush from high school, who is now married and has two kids... in the dream, she was not married, and had no kids.  I haven't spoken to her in over 10 years now.  

Then, I was there with my current girlfriend, who was also my girlfriend in the dream.  I was somehow unable to figure out how to deal with this, and it made me uncomfortable.  It was as if I had no will of my own.  My girlfriend was very upset that I was marrying someone else, never mind that I had invited her.  I felt bad, but it seemed like a foregone decision that I could somehow do nothing about.

I was dressed in a very sharp tuxedo, all white with real gold trim.  Gold metal thread embroidery.  It looked way too sharp (and more than a little too tacky) for the occasion.  The woman I was going to marry was there in her wedding gown, with her flowers and veil.  But before I could go over and talk to her, she declared that she had to go party with some friends somewhere else, and left.  Within 3 minutes of my arrival, and that of the other guests.  WTF?

At this point in the dream, everyone in attendance is only there to be polite to the bride, who is clearly not being polite to any of us.  We are all there trying to make small talk, uneasily waiting for her to get back.

Then I find myself in a bedroom off the main reception area the gathering is being held in, and one of the bride's friends (who I dated in real life) is laying on the bed.  Somehow, she's wearing clothes and naked at the same time.  I sat down next to her and half jokingly asked if she was there to have sex with me, to which she replied in the negative.  The way she did it made me think she didn't want me there, so I left.

Then I went back to my girlfriend, who had taken a seat near the entry way where the guest book was.  There was a lit white candle burning next to the guest book.  I tried to talk to her, but she was crying because I was marrying someone else, and I felt terrible, but somehow it never crossed my mind to just break off this ridiculous wedding and leave with my girlfriend.  Again, looking back, it was as if I had no will of my own and no say in the matter.

After a while, people started leaving, and I asked one of the bride's parents where she was.  They told me they had no idea, they only knew what I knew.  As I'm getting ready to walk out, the bride to be she comes back in through the same door she left though - which was not the entryway door, but a door on the side of the room - and is happy and playful and giddy, but is ignoring everyone there.  I try to make my way over to her, but again, before I get there, she leaves - this time, to go upstairs and go to sleep, IIRC.  

At this point I suddenly find myself in my car driving away from the "whatever the hell that was I just attended", and I need to turn left at the second of three left turn options.  I get distracted by the effects of the railroad tracks I'm crossing and pass my turn, so I have to turn at the third street, which leads me way out of the area and then I spend several days driving home, because to turn around I have to drive straight for three states before I can turn around.  I am wondering what the hell is going on and why there is no way to turn, stop or do anything else, since this road passes through multiple major cities.  Then my dogs wake me up whining to go out.

Interesting dream, with an apparent theme of not being in control,  but I have no idea what any of it has to do with overcoming fear...

If I can...
Is it possible that back than you thought that you two will end up together?
Were you crazy in love with her?
Did she hurt you?
Back then ,have you made any promise to yourself or to the high school crush?

I'm not curious,those are questions to answer to yourself....

It could be possible that you were releasing or working on releasing "something" that subconsciously was blocking you in your current relationship, and as a result creating fear of something in present time and relationship?

I had it bad for her, but we never got far enough for me to think we would end up together, or get hurt by her.  

As I said earlier, I think it deals with a very young part of me trying to communicate that he doesn't know how to proceed because he can't be sure what is real and what is not based on what his experience was with the adults around him at the time.  They would sometimes be drunk, and sometimes be sober, and the world was very different in each case.  When they were sober, they would verify my senses were accurate; when they would get drunk, they would contradict the accuracy of my senses.  This left me lost and distrusting my own experience of "reality" because the people I was looking to to tell me if I was right gave me inconsistent and contradictory answers.  This would have been when I was 2-3-4 years old.

I think that part of me feels helpless because of that and is trying to communicate that he doesn't know how to do what the program is asking him to do as a result.  That's why there was no fear in the dream and nothing obviously relating to fear; it was simply communicating... "I don't know how to do what you're asking."

The nice thing is, even though the program was not designed specifically to deal with this sort of situation, the design should catch and correct this situation regardless because of the secondary interactions the script makes within itself.

[Shannon]

Today so far I have been sad and slightly depressed. I don't fully understand why. I suspect it might be something to do with letting go of the things that were familiar and were believed to be "keeping me safe" and the program being too powerful for those parts of me expressing this to prevent from doing it.

Eating breakfast has helped, needed some blood sugar. I can't work in this state, so I'm going to the beach to try to recover my emotional state as quickly as possible and hopefully then I can work.

Good thing I have a good woman to help and support me in this.

[UniversalMan]

Whatever it is, it is good progress @Shannon!
And, beach is always a great idea, ocean & chill always gets me recharged.... relax, you merited it!

Btw I still didnt purchase OF, but set the date....and I got TID from it last week and aproaching the listening date it gets stronger and more obvious.
Just wanted to let you know that

[fab10]

Are you guys playing the ultrasonic track on a phone that is capable of reproducing the audio stereo, or?
@Shannon what phone model do you use?

At night I plug my phone into those cheap but decent stereo speakers normally used for PCs. It’s undoubtedly better than a phone speaker and it’s stereo. I put one on each side of the pillow and I am good to go. Just an idea. 

For additional comfort, since the setup made a slight buzzing sound after the sub was done, I programmed a smart socket to switch off on a timer.